A Parent's Voice

My Apologies to All

2010-08-08T18:57:00.000-04:00

I would just like to take a quick moment to apologize to everyone who may be in my email list. Apparently I have been hacked somehow.

I just discovered this today as I received an email from "myself" to "myself" at my personal email address.

I am terribly sorry for this mishap. But I did want you to be aware that it was NOT something I was sending out deliberately.

Otherwise, I hope this post finds everyone well.

YouTube - Senator Nancy Schaefer is killed

2010-03-28T09:27:00.000-04:00

YouTube - Senator Nancy Schaefer is killed

YouTube - Innocence Destroyed - Part 2 - WARNING: Graphic Content

2010-03-28T09:22:00.000-04:00

YouTube - Innocence Destroyed - Part 2 - WARNING: Graphic Content

YouTube - Innocence Destroyed - Part 1 - WARNING: Graphic Content

2010-03-28T09:21:00.000-04:00

YouTube - Innocence Destroyed - Part 1 - WARNING: Graphic Content

GBI: Husband shot ex-senator, then self | ajc.com

2010-03-28T09:17:00.000-04:00

GBI: Husband shot ex-senator, then self ajc.com

Family rights advocates mourn death of Nancy Schaefer

2010-03-28T09:08:00.000-04:00

Family rights advocates mourn death of Nancy Schaefer

Nancy Schaefer Found Dead: Suicide Conspiracy Murder?

2010-03-27T19:07:00.000-04:00

Nancy Schaefer Found Dead: Suicide Conspiracy Murder?

YouTube - Richard I Fine Torture Complaint Filed With United Nations

2010-03-27T15:00:00.001-04:00

YouTube - Richard I Fine Torture Complaint Filed With United Nations

Nancy Schaefer Articles and Alerts | Eagle Forum of Georgia, Inc.

2010-03-27T15:00:00.000-04:00

Nancy Schaefer Articles and Alerts Eagle Forum of Georgia, Inc.

Georgia State Senator Nancy Schaefer (R-50)

2010-03-27T14:56:00.000-04:00

Georgia State Senator Nancy Schaefer (R-50)

Murder-suicide possible cause of deaths of former state Sen. Schaefer and husband | ajc.com

2010-03-27T14:52:00.001-04:00

Murder-suicide possible cause of deaths of former state Sen. Schaefer and husband | ajc.com

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Another Year, Another Birthday

2010-03-16T10:58:00.004-04:00

Hello again (finally) all -
I knew it had been a while since I had updated but geesh, didn't realize it had been this long. So sorry for the long silence.

With today being my birthday {shudder}, I could not help but become a little reflective this morning. This last year has had quite a few challenges, lots of changes, pain, loss and a few bright spots.

Today marks not only my birthday, but the 1 year mark of the first day of my Fiance's trail against my youngest daughter. While in some respects this day will be somewhat haunted by this event for the rest of my life, the good news that came out of it was that he was found NOT GUILTY on all charges just a couple of days later. So while on this day a year ago - nooooo one was in the mood to celebrate a birthday, we just kinda let the day go by without any fan fare, understandably.

But in the remaining 364 days since that day, so much has happend and so many challenges. Once the trial was over, we couldn't wait to get out of that hell hole of a town. So we returned to where we thought we would be comfortable and somewhat safe, we came home to Florida. The relief for me so huge, I spent the first day back in bed physically ill all day from just the huge amount of stress lifted from my shoulders by just being back in this place.

The idea of returning to work would be alot easier than actually going back to work. Joe who had previously worked in construction, still has not been able to return to that profession because of the economy, however after 4 months of being back here, was able to go to work for a family friend. I took random temp jobs of one day here and one day there before finally going back to work full time after 6 months of being back.

The end of the year saw the beginning of heartache for friends near and dear to us which of course made our hearts hurt as well. The passing of my boss' wife, the passing of my best friend's father, the deaths of kids my girls went to school with, finding out my mother (we parted ways after returning to Florida because of her handling - or LACK of handling should we say of the situation with my daughter) had a stroke (she is fine, no lasting effects other than some arm weakness she is going to PT for). One could not help but wonder if this was supposed to be some sort of cosmic kick in the butt for us to begin to appreciate the world around us again.

After 10 long, cramped months of the 3 of us living in a hotel room, we finally moved out into a rented house. While it was not the home to which we lost during this nightmarish time, it was still more than a hotel room. On the bright side, it is in an old and familiar neighborhood, so it does bring some comfort. In the midst of the comfort has come wondering, some things were still in the home we lost, the struggle to remember WHAT exactly was left seems to be an almost daily thing. But now in some official way I guess, we can now begin to rebuild our lives, somehow look forward.

This last year, I have spend more time on the internet researching, reading, listening, watching, and for heavens sake CRYING. For through my own heartache, anger and betrayal, I slowly but surely found my story not to be an isolated incident, to be not the exception to the rule. In fact I found my story to be somewhat commonplace in my towns, my states, my country and even my world. For my story isn't exclusive to the United States, my story echoes in various countries around the world like Australia, Brittain and Singapore. Everyday a new website (http://www.fightcps.com/), everyday a new blog (http://www.falselyaccuseddad.com/) (http://www.legallykidnapped.blogspotcom/) (http://www.my.kidjacked.com/), everyday a new Facebook Group (Stop Parental Alienation - Fight For Parents Rights (the cause I started now up to 1,300 people in less than a year), Children Have Rights Too, Disarm Parental Predators, Fathers4Justice), everyday a new organization (Eagle Forum, Constitutional Emergency, NPRA, Abuse Freedom United).

Through my heartache and tragedy while extremely painful, there were those in so much more pain than I. My daughter was almost of "age" when stolen, others had their children for mere moments by comparison. Some fighting tooth and nail clinging to the hope they will see their children again while others stand beside a casket, clinging to the only thing they have left, memories. Through my tears reading these stories, watching these videos, and connecting with all of these AMAZING people, I could not help but in some small seemingly insignificant way, being grateful.

My sliver of gratitude comes from the fact that if I had not gone thru this personal hell, if I had not been court ordered to see a therapist (who ironically has become a great source of strength for me - too bad CPS Wyoming...lmao), if I did not have access to the internet and Facebook and Twitter, I would never have had "friends" that each day amaze me with their strength, their kindness, their will to survive and carry on, their hearts. Their willingness to help those around them and those fighting the similar fight. I am thankful that these strangers have come into my life, I am thankful for all they have shared with me, I am thankful for the strength they share with all who surround them. My prayer is that one day, we can all meet together, in one place, with our families back together and whole.

Nancy Schaefer on CPS Corruption

2010-02-19T09:06:00.004-05:00

Nancy Schaefer speaking out on CPS Corruption on Alex Jones Radio show.

PART 1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOx5Q5ekPxk&feature=player_embedded

PART 2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfWEQEm9GJk&feature=player_embedded

PART 3 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1HnWqy_0yM&feature=player_embedded

PART 4 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg-N9tT6OtY&feature=player_embedded

Feel free to pass along - we need to get the word out!!!!

CPS Sucks Channel on You Tube

2010-01-13T08:56:00.001-05:00

This has got some pretty interesting videos on it. Informative.

The Amish Don't Get Autism but They Do Get Bio-Terrorism

2010-01-10T16:20:00.000-05:00

NOTE: Boy this really makes you think - doesn't it

The Amish Don't Get Autism but They Do Get Bio-Terrorism

Fighting Unjust Social service Ethics: Parents Hearts Weep As They Fight For Their Daughter

2010-01-01T16:08:00.000-05:00

bloggers note: This is just the absolute worst thing that could happen!!! It is unfathomable that this couple has had to suffer without their daughter since just 4 days after she was ripped from their arms over NOTHING!!!!!

Fighting Unjust Social service Ethics: Parents Hearts Weep As They Fight For Their Daughter

State Checks on Tiger's Kids

2009-12-22T10:41:00.002-05:00

Hmmmm I wonder if DCF will snatch Tiger's kid's without a warrant? I wonder if Tiger's rights will be thrown out the window?? Oh wait - nahhh - cuz he has a bottomless bank account to be able to afford those high priced attorneys that will protect HIS rights!!! You watch the preferential treatment that Tiger gets because of this!!!

Disabled Mother Fights for Baby

2009-12-17T15:40:00.001-05:00

Disabled Mother Fights for Baby

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Mother Upset, Child Mistakenly Taken into State Custody | Firstcoastnews.com | Strange and Unusual

2009-12-02T08:27:00.000-05:00

You know - I am not sure who to be more pissed off at, the school for not verifying this person had the authority to pick up this child or the social worker for being too stupid to take the wrong child!!!! I am leaning towards the social worker - obviously she hadn't worked with this child (that she placed into foster care) enought o be able to tell her apart from a perfect stranger!!!!!! CPS just needs to get their crap together!!!!
I feel horrible for the mom and you can bet, since CPS had her daughter for a couple of hours, this will not be the last she will hear from them!!!!!

Mother Upset, Child Mistakenly Taken into State Custody Firstcoastnews.com Strange and Unusual

My "little" Cause

2009-11-07T19:11:00.003-05:00

I know I have been out for a bit but things have been a little stressful around here these last few weeks.

I finally went back to work about 2 months ago. I was at my job about 2 weeks and my boss' wife took seriously ill. She has been in the hospital this whole time. Well this past week, she passed away. Surrounded by her family.

Well, admittedly I have been a little distracted, but tonight I went to check in on my little Facebook group: Stop Parental Alientation-Fight for Parents Rights and boy to say I was shocked was an understatement.

The little "cause" I started on Facebook so many months ago in an attempt to bring parents like myself (done horribly wrong by CPS) together in an effort to share resources, information and emotional support if nothing else. Well it appears that my "little cause" is not so little anymore. We are 757 members strong!!!! Never in a million years did I think it would ever get that big.

So I want to take a moment to encourage all of you to not only join this cause via the link above or you can find it by finding me on Facebook (Lydia Moma Henderson). Because I always say - the larger we are the louder we are, the louder we are the less we can be ignored, the less we can be ignored the more change we can bring about.

So please, continue to spread the word, share your stories, post your links, you videos, your news stories, your groups and similiar causes. The word IS getting out and we ARE getting organized.

If you want me to post your link or anything in my cause, just let me know and I will GLADLY do so. If there is a resource you think we need to know about share it yourself or let me know and I will post that too. I have discovered simply by accident - no group is too small, no piece of information is too little, put them all together and they aren't so little anymore :)

Elkins Family Law Task Force public hearing October 27th

2009-10-26T10:26:00.001-04:00

Elkins Family Law Task Force public hearing October 27th

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Legal child abuse in the USA

2009-10-14T16:34:00.002-04:00

We need child welfare reform in Wyoming

2009-10-12T09:59:00.003-04:00

posters note: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!? This has got to be the most kiss ass brown nosing article I have ever seen. Is it just me or can you actually hear the "kissing" sound as you read this??? There is so MUCH wrong in the state of Wyoming that I don't even know where to begin, not to mention there isn't enough web space. I have bolded the things that I actually know for a fact to be a crock because - hello - I just went through this and I am still going through this!!!

TONY LEWIS - Perspective Posted: Sunday, October 11, 2009 12:00 am

In Wyoming, there are more than 1,200 children in state custody who are currently placed somewhere outside their own homes, either with a foster family, detention facility or behavioral institution. It's a big number.

A popular misconception is that these are all children who were removed by DFS. But in Wyoming, children can only be removed from a family for safety reasons by a police officer or a physician. They can only be put in jail by law enforcement. By and large, these professionals, along with assistance from DFS workers, all seem to be making fairly reasonable decisions. (ok - really - doI need to say anything here?)

So what accounts for Wyoming's continued high rate of child removal and foster care?

Among Wyoming's child advocates, we talk a lot about two major barriers to reducing our numbers of children in out-of-home care. They include 1) the rural nature of the state and 2) lack of specialization.

These are real barriers. Most counties in Wyoming have fewer than 50,000 people, and resources for struggling families are scarce. The distance to the closest expert on trauma, parenting or delinquency intervention is often significant.

This is a big reason why courts and court-appointed multi-disciplinary teams (the ones that recommend services or placements) rely so heavily on private institutions for stabilizing and treating acute emotional and behavioral problems. If you're looking for a clinician who can conduct an appropriate assessment and create a case plan that works for the court system, group homes and residential treatment facilities do good work.

For child protection cases that don't involve significant clinical needs, the resource Wyoming relies on the most to ensure short- or long-term child safety are foster parents. If you want to be better safe than sorry, and you want children with trained parents, it certainly makes sense. (TRAINED parents?? Are you kidding me?? My daughter's trained parents are never home, have 7 kids that they receive a fat monthly check for, oh yeah, and the trained dad IS A COUNTY SHERIFF!!!)

Finally, the people we rely on the most to intervene with delinquents and ensure community safety from troubled youth are sheriffs, police and prosecutors. It's been observed that Wyoming relies too much on detention for these youth. That's true, but as police and prosecutors often observe, there's not much available in most communities between warrants and detention. Law enforcement officers do not have a lot of alternatives.

I know I left out the courts, but let's cut to the chase: there are no clear enemies in the day-to-day struggle to reduce the numbers of children in out-of-home care or to help keep struggling families intact. (WHAT?!?!)

There are no clear enemies, but of course our youth are not winning when we rely too much on secure interventions, particularly those far from home. Something has to change.

There are a number of other facets to this overall discussion, but when you add it all up, a lot of us think we simply need better local planning for services and interventions. And we need a financing system that supports intervention and assistance before children and families get caught up in the juvenile court system. (ummm you have that NOW!!!)

This is the logic of the community juvenile service board approach in the state's ongoing juvenile justice reform effort. Several communities are already planning to help direct state funding for locally created alternatives to detention. These will be things like community service programs, home detention, electronic monitoring, day and evening check-in programs for youth on probation, day education and treatment programs and others.

These programs will dovetail with new detention and intake centers that are also being supported by state resources in a few key counties, according to locally driven plans.

Other child welfare reform efforts need to take the same approach. While it's easy to think the state should just dictate the conditions and framework for communities to manage their own children, it's not that simple. We need clear roles, clear goals, and we need to hold each other accountable. (This by itself is a joke. They run amuck out here. There IS no accountability.)

So what do the goals need to be? While I think, "identified community by community" is a good answer, we already know from a number of those community-centered initiatives what basic services we need. The state ought to respond by helping direct more of its available resources to the kinds of things listed below.

For juvenile delinquents, we need alternatives to detention. While it's certainly appropriate that we leave long-term placements in family foster care or institutions up to the district courts, (really?? we should leave that to the courts?? what makes them qualified?? are they social workers? are they therapists?? no, their job is to enforce the law - and they can't even get that right!) wouldn't it be great if law enforcement had access to electronic monitoring, home detention programs, day and evening check-in programs and perhaps even probation at a circuit or municipal court level? For child protection cases, we need better risk assessments and more people who can effectively work with families to mitigate risk and improve their chances of safely managing their own children. (you don't need better risk assessment, you just need to follow the damn rules you have now!! children are ripped from the arms of their true loving parents on the whims of DSF and the police. No one, no one manages the safety of their own children better than the child's biological mother and/or father.) For children in need of behavioral or mental health services, we need clinical assessments at a pre-MDT level. We need more mental health professionals who can work effectively with the court system and provide support for temporary foster care and therapeutic foster care interventions. (the ones you have don't work effectively. they are assigned by DFS and all they are worried about is lining their pockets with federal funds. they don't care abotu the children and what damage they do to them.)

It's somewhat reassuring to think that a number of dedicated and hard-working people are already making great progress in this direction for their communities and their children. (who are these people and what EXACTLY have they done that makes them so great and their efforts so great?) But unless we make state support of community-centered planning a constant way of doing business, our progress can fade pretty quickly.

Tony Lewis is the director of the Wyoming Department of Family Services and is a former director of the Wyoming State Bar.

Lost Mind in State Care

2009-10-09T08:48:00.008-04:00

poster's note: Ok - I am sooo beyond beside myself right now. Talk about feeling helpless!!!!! I am literally watching my stolen daughter self destruct and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. Once again, I have been given information about Brittney's behavior that is simply blowing my mind! This item below is from her "online journal". Am I the only one to read this and think she has compeltely lost her mind? Remember, she is not 18 until the 13th. Remember, she is living on a college campus in a dorm with no adult supervision. I read this and I can tell she has no clue about the ramifications of her actions and doesn't seem to care. Is it just me or is this a major problem??

Sep. 29th, 2009
2:24 PM
Ok... so the last thing we talked about was before college. Before everything really came into place. Well now I;m in college...

My roomate was relycool at first. we would hang out with everyone and I ould show her town. I even bought her lunch. Then she went out of town on a friday night. A couple of friends came over and were drinking crown and coke and th.ey left the cups in my room. well I couldnt smell it and apprently noobody else could either cuz it stayed in my room till sunday night. then whe she got back she told the RA's that I through a huge party in their while she was gone and told them I brought the alcohol into the room. I was so pissed!!! but she eded up oving out of my dorm a I ended up getting a $100 fine, 10 hours of community service and an alcohol ed. class. But I got the room to myself so that's cool lol.

Other than that not too much has happened. College is completely paid for but I don't feel like I am getting any money. not losing not gaining. Oh yh and shane and ariel broke up. And I was really mad and upset with adam, and we were in shanes room, and we ended up having sex. I felt horrible about it and I told adam and I had never seen him so upset. It killed me to see him cry like that. But we solved everything and he ended up telling kelsi to back off, him and her really liked each other. But yeah I am going to surprise adam and show him that I want to be with him forever and ask him to be my boyfriend again.

So other than THAT! nothing has really happpened. I;m quitting the petrolum club and I'm gonna be a Mary Kay sales rep. with my aunt and it's supposed to be really good money. And I am practically garunteed a car within my first year. so.... that's another huge plus. I will eep this updaed!

What happens to your child in foster care?!?!

2009-09-26T20:50:00.009-04:00

You see this photo - this is what happens to your minor child (under age of 18) when the state allows the foster parents to send the child to a community college in the same town without supervision. Now I ask you, would a parent kick there kid out of the house only to put them on a local college campus, unsupervised?? A child collecting foster parent would so they could make room for a couple of more kids!!

Now I find it absolutely amazing that my daughter, who HATES alcohol in any form was allowed to get into this condition. Would she have gotten in this condition if she were still in my care ?? NO!! >>>>>>>>>>

But I am sure that once again, I am in the wrong, I am just being a bitter parent.

I don't know who this blonde girl is, but this is the caption my daughter placed under this pic:

<<<<<<<<<<<<

"she held my hair back when I puked lol lisa"

You know, I must admit, I am shocked and amazed everyday at the new things I discover as to how the DFS/CPS system is not only allowed to screw parents every which a way but how they are allowed to screw the taxpayers by the amounts of money being wasted to deal with falsely accused parents, the foster parents, the shrinks, and in my daughter's case, the independent living kids that are recieving funds to attend college to do what you see here. These are your tax dollars hard at work :)

Just felt the need to share :)

TIMELINE

2009-09-24T11:18:00.007-04:00

Hello all.
I thought it would be important to update the timeline, put it all together in one post, and re-post it. There have been some new visitors to my blog and unfortunately since they are just beginning their nightmarish journey - I thought they should #1-see what they are in for & #2-have an idea of the notes they should be taking for themselves.

7/24/08 Thursday - 10:30a (approx)Joe (my fiance) and Brittney (my youngest daughter - age 16 at this time) go to breakfast afterwhich Britt watches Red vs. Blue on YouTube.com (this is important later on)
7/24/08 Thursday 5:11p Brittney’s Facebook status reads “Getting used to being in the middle of nowhere.”
7/24/08 Thursday 7:52p Brittney’s Facebook status reads “watching Red vs Blue”
7/24/08 Thursday 9:57p Brittney’s Facebook shows that she joined a group.
7/25/08 Friday 7:01a Brittney’s Facebook status reads “Is nervous”
7/25/08 Friday (Approx) 10:30a (fla time)Mark & Pam come to the Florida house to tell Lydia (me - mom) that Brittney told their son (Brooks) that Joe touched Brittney inappropriately. Lydia calls Brittney, she gives no details only “he touched her inappropriately”. Lydia calls Joe and asks same question. He says the only thing he can think of is that he may have inadvertently grazed her chest when she rolled over from her stomach to her back in order to look at him when he was telling her he was leaving for work at 4:00A.M. He asked if Lydia wanted him to go stay @ hotel til she could get there. Lydia & Joe call Brittney, Joe apologizes (at my urging/insistance - and not the first time I have done this and again this will be important later) if he made her uncomfortable again offers to stay @ hotel til Lydia gets to Casper.
7/25/08 Friday (Approx) 4:00p (fla time)Lydia receives call from Brittney to advise that Investigator Mike Steinburg and Investigator Kristi DePoorter (Natrona County Sheriff & Department of Family Services) are at the Casper residence to talk to her. Inv. Steinburg gets on the phone & says they want to take Brittney down to CAPS for questioning in re: to the abuse allegation. Inv. Steinburg states I will be able to get Brittney back once I am in town, but since Joe & I are not married & there is no other family, they want to put her into protective custody. Inv. Steinburg made it sound like I had no choice.
7/25/08 Friday 5:30p Brittney placed into Protective Custody & placed in foster home (the child collectors)(Kevin & Helen – Kevin is a Natrona County Sheriff & Helen works at a detention facility).
7/25/08 Friday 7:30p (approx)Investigator Mike Steinburg and Investigator Kristi DePoorter (Natrona County Sheriff & Department of Family Services) went to the Casper residence & interviewed Joe. Did not read him his rights nor did they tell him what he was accused of. (Later we find out this interview was also tape recorded without consent & without Joe’s knowledge).
7/27/08 Sunday Lydia & Reba (Lydia’s mother) arrive in Casper with the youngest dog & a guinea pig.
7/28/08 Monday 4:00p Shelter Care Hearing before Judge Skavdahl. Lydia is told Brittney will remain in foster care as she is not able to provide a safe environment for Brittney (I live with Joe) nor will he allow Reba (the grandmother) to take Britt BACK to Florida. "I want the child to remain here in Casper so that I can control her." says Judge Skavdahl.
7/31/08 Thursday 1:49p Brittney’s Facebook status reads “Happy but misses her friends” 8/2/08 Saturday Lydia begins working @ Walmart in Casper.
8/7/08 Thursday 4:00p Shelter Care Hearing before Judge Skavdahl. Lydia is told Brittney will remain in foster care as she is not able to provide a safe environment for Brittney (I live with Joe). Once again it is asked for the grandmother to take Britt back to Florida and again it is denied. Judge does not want her leaving his jurisdiction. Case will be held over for Adjudication.Judge orders 3 visits per week between Lydia & Brittney.This date is Lydia & Joe’s 4 year anniversary.Lydia finally receives copies of all papers to date (motions, complaints, predisposition reports, etc) after complaining that I was not getting copies of paperwork.After reviewing ALL paperwork, Lydia is NOT charged with ANY crime on ANY paperwork nor is Lydia even being investigated.Noticed in predisposition report statements of “reasonable efforts made to prevent removal of child’: provided home based services (no they didn’t), referred for counseling child, mother & family (no we weren’t), referred to benefit specialist for medical resources/Medicaid (no I wasn’t), and an MDT meeting has been held (no it hasn’t it doesn’t take place until Oct 17).
8/8/08 Friday 10:30p (approx)Joe is arrested. He remains in jail on $10,000 cash bond for 8 weeks.
8/8/08 Friday Order on Scheduling conference is set for Sept 30 @ 10:00a
8/11/08 Monday Lydia is told by Joe’s employer (Mid Mountain Concrete Pumping) must move out of residence (they own) NO later than Wednesday.
8/12/08 Tuesday Lydia is forced to take youngest dog to animal shelter.
8/13/08 Wednesday Lydia & Reba move into First Interstate Motel. $378.00/wk. Employer keeps Joe’s truck & the oldest dog Max.
8/14/08 Thursday Lydia leaves for Ft. Jackson, SC for Brianna (oldest daughter - 18 3/4 yrs at this time) graduation from Basic Training for US Army Reserves.
8/17/08 Sunday Lydia returns from South Carolina to Casper.
8/19/08 Tuesday 8:00p Visit scheduled with Brittney @ the foster parents home but she is late due to swim orientation.
8/22/08 Friday 7:00p Visit scheduled with Brittney @ the foster parents home.
8/23/08 Saturday Lydia rents storage unit for Joe’s truck.
8/24/08 Sunday Lydia picked up Joe’s truck & oldest dog Max from Joe's now previous employer (they fired him the day he was arrested).
8/24/08 Sunday 7:00p Visit scheduled with Brittney @ the foster parents home.
8/25/08 Monday 9:00a Lydia meets with Bernie (investigator for Joe’s court appointed attorney Rob).
8/26/08 Tuesday Lydia emailed Bernie text log from Brittney’s phone.
8/27/08 Wednesday Lydia drops of pictures of family to Bernie.
9/1/08 Monday 2:43p Received text message from Brittney re: getting 1st place in swim meet.
9/1/08 Monday 5:12p Brittney texts Lydia asking for ringtone for her phone (this is the phone that Joe is supposed to still be paying for and was ORDERED by Judge back in August to keep on so as to not "retaliate" against her).
9/3/08 Wednesday Joe & Brittney’s cell phones are turned off by verizon for non payment (because Joe is in Jail).
9/4/08 Thursday Lydia asks Tere (Dept of Family Services caseworker) for visits to be @ DFS due to foster home visits too chaotic. Also advised had not seen Brittney in a week.
9/8/08 Monday 4:00p Lydia lmvm for Tere to follow up on request for visit.
9/10/08 Wednesday 11:15a Lydia sent Brittney a message on Facebook.
9/10/08 Wednesday 4:50p Lydia lmvm for Tere to follow up on request for visit.
9/11/08 Thursday 11:37a Lydia lmvm for Jeri (Tere's supervisor @ DFS) re: no follow up from Tere & Lydia not getting visits (remember, Judge ordered me to have 3 visits per week).
9/11/08 Thursday 3:30p Lydia lmvm for Jeri (Tere's supervisor @ DFS) re: no follow up from Tere & Lydia not getting visits.After message receptionist transferred Lydia to Carol (Next up supervisor from Jeri)
9/12/08 Friday 4:38p Lydia received call from Deanna PAC (Self Help Center contracted by DFS for visitations). Tere failed to forward copy of my work schedule to PAC.
9/12/08 Friday 7:30p Lydia received call from Deanna, visit with Brittney cancelled due to she is out of town for a swim meet.
9/13/08 Saturday 4:31p Lydia received message from Brittney via Facebook that she has a new cell phone number.
9/13/08 Saturday 8:10p Lydia responds to Brittney’s Facebook message.
9/14/08 Sunday 7:11p Lydia received message from Brittney via Facebook.
9/14/08 Sunday 9:58p Lydia responds to Brittney’s Facebook message.
9/15/08 Monday Joe released from Jail on $10,000 cash bond. Lydia received cashiers check made out to the jail from Joe’s father. Due to processes, jail says Lydia posted the bond (again this will be important later).
9/17/08 Wednesday 10:26a Lydia received call from Deanna re: visits with Brittney on Thursday & Sunday. Advised I would be unable to make due to work schedule. Advised I was off on Friday & Saturday & that some days Brittney doesn’t have to be to school until 11:00a try to schedule a visit during that time as well.
9/19/08 Friday 1:00p Lydia & Joe meet with Father August of St. Patricks Church for counseling/guidance.
9/21/08 Sunday 1:30p Brittney’s Facebook status reads: “Officially missing Mandarin High”
9/21/08 Sunday 4:15p Lydia received call from Deanna re: visit. Deanna thought I was to be there @ 3:00p. Lydia thought she was to call back to confirm.
9/22/08 Monday 3:20p Lydia receives text message from Brianna stating a voice mail was left on her phone for Lydia to call DA’s office re: hearing.
9/22/08 Monday 3:25p Lydia calls Bernie re: call from DA’s office. Per Bernie, my choice if I want to talk to them but I don’t have to. Lydia did not return call to DA.
9/23/08 Tuesday5:41p Lydia received message from Deanna re: visit with Brittney on Wednesday @ 7:00p and Thursday @ 7:15p
9/23/08 Tuesday 6:15p Lydia attempted to call Deanna re: visits. Could not leave message voice mail was full so paged.
9/23/08 Tuesday 6:45p Lydia attempted to call Deanna re: visits. Could not leave message voice mail was full so paged.
9/24/08 Wednesday 9:30a Lydia finally reached Deanna confirmed Wednesday visit advised must change Thursday visit due to work schedule. She will find out & call back.
9/24/08 Wednesday 7:00p Been 1 month since Lydia has seen Brittney. Brittney arrived @ visit with 7 stitches in her forehead. Claims she hit head on chair in her room. Lydia took picture of injury. Left copy of work schedule through 10/10/08.
9/25/08 Thursday 9:00a Joe meets with Rob & Bernie (court appointed attorney & his investigator).
9/25/08 Thursday 249p Sandy from Lifenet calls Lydia re:MDT Meeting re: Brittney on 10/14. This date may change due to Helen & Kevin possibly being out of town (the people who are receiving federal money to care for MY child are going to leave her with a stranger?!?!).
9/25/08 Thursday 4:40p Lydia lmvm for Paul (regional supervisor for DFS) re: concern for Brittney & her injury.
9/28/08 Sunday 5:03p Brittney’s Facebook lists her as “in a relationship”
9/29/08 Monday 1:21p Lydia sends Brittney a message via Facebook asking who she is dating and information re: her senior pictures.
9/29/08 Monday Kevin Taheri amends petition and caption
9/30/08 Tuesday 9:00a Adjudication hearing before Judge Skavdahl. Joe is found guilty of all charges. DA presents no evidence other than Brittney’s video taped statement (she didn't even have to testify nor was Joe allowed his Constitutional right to "face his accuser").Joe does not have an attorney present (his court appointed is only for the criminal not the juvenille). Joe does not give up his right to an attorney, did apply for a court appointed attorney while in jail, but never heard back. (Also at this point, the Asst DA Kevin T and the GAL Mary Anne were kind enough to begin offering free advice to Joe (hello can you say acting in dual roles, conflict of interest and what about some semblance of lawyers ethics????) Judge allowed case to proceed AND finds the "allegations of abuse to be substantiated (he found Joe guilty). This is also when we find out (even though we had been asking for it the whole time) that even though Britt was accusing Joe of digital penetration, NO physical exam was done on Britt for 4 days and NO dna test was EVER done. Naturally there was NO physical evidence that Joe did anything to her (mainly because he didn't but still, they couldn't comeup with anything either that "placed" him there.) Lydia raises concerns for Brittney’s safety (due to the stitches) as well as not having the court ordered visits 3 times per week. Judge reiterated 3 visit order and stated accidents happen, she is fine where she is.
10/2/08 Thursday 6:00p Lydia received call from Deanna re: visit in 1 hour. Advised could not that it was 1 hour notice. Reminded of schedule copy left with her & advised next days off were Tuesday & Friday. She will call back.
10/6/08 Monday 8:03p Lydia received call from Deana re: visit Tuesday.
10/6/08 Monday 10:06p Lydia lmvm to confirm visit on Tuesday with Brittney
10/7/08 Tuesday 11:33a Lydia received call from Deanna re: 7:00p visit tonight, 9:00a and 7:00p visits next Tuesday. Will need to confirm 9:00a visit with Tere who is coordinating.
10/7/08 Tuesday 11:40a Lydia attempted call to Judge Skavdahl’s office to discuss visit issues. Was told have to go through GAL (Mary Ann) or DFS (Tere).
10/7/08 Tuesday 11:42a Lydia attempted 3rd call to GAL, voice mail was full could not leave message.
10/7/08 Tuesday 2:53p Lydia attempted 4th call to GAL, voice mail was full could not leave message.
10/7/08 Tuesday 7:00p Lydia & Brittney visit. Starts out well then ¾ way through went downhill. Need to have Deanna’s notes checked from last visit. Brittney lied. Last visit said trip to movies was in a group. This visit states was just her and new boyfriend but once again, I am in the wrong and have no right to be concerned.
10/8/08 Wednesday 4:17p Lydia received message from Tere re: visit tomorrow @10:00a
10/8/08 Wednesday 5:09p Lydia left message on Tere’s voice mail that won’t be able to make 10:00a visit due to work schedule 6a-2p. Lydia also sent Brittney text message to advise since notice was last minute.
10/14/08 Tuesday 7:00p Lydia visit with Brittney
10/15/08 Wednesday 2:47p Lydia received call from Tere re: 9:00a visit on Tuesday 10/21/08 confirmed.
10/17/08 Friday 11:00a MDT (multi-discipline team) meeting.Lydia refuses to cut ties with Joe. No agency accepts responsibility for not getting 3 visits per week. Lydia is ordered to have psychological eval as well as anger management and parenting classes. Brittney will remain in foster care. Britt is doing remarkably well, she is doing good in school and excelling in swimming. (DUH!!! Her grades haven't changed, her sports haven't changed, she has a boyfriend and a job....how is it she is traumatized again??????)
10/21/08 Tuesday 9:00a Lydia visit with Brittney @ DFS under Tere supervision. This visit will come back to bite me because I lost it. Visit started out well. Brittney spoke of swim team for approx 30 min, Visit turned ugly when Brittney referred to current children in the foster home as “sisters”. Let comment go until I asked why no acknowledgement of her grandmother (Reba) – no calls, no letters, cards, emails, or texts. She asked why grandmother doesn’t come to the visits. I replied “you haven’t asked her to.” I also stated that “at least I haven’t forgotten I have a family”. Tere demanded exchange stop, I replied “I know, we don’t want her dealing with reality.” Brittney proceeded to storm out of room and cry(her typical drama queen move). Tere stated she needed to get Brittney back to school which I responsed “make sure you talk to her about reality on your way”. I left.
10/21/08 Tuesday 3:30p Lydia received call from Deanna re: visit @ 7:00p tonight. Advised morning visit didn’t go well & since weather bad (snowing) stated would skip this visit.
10/21/08 Tuesday Joe receives copies of papers from hearings back on 7/28 & 8/7/08.
10/28/08 Tuesday 2:42p Lydia receives call from Deanna re: visit tonight @ 7:00p with Brittney. I cancel due to already had plans.
10/31/08 Friday Lydia sent emails to 3 Wyoming senators asking for help in case.
11/3/08 Monday 4:13p Lydia called Deanna to advise of new work schedule.
11/4/08 Tuesday 7:57p Lydia received call from Deanna that visits will be on Tuesday & Thursday 6:30-7:30p
11/6/08 Thursday 4:57p Lydia called Deanna to cancel visit due to work.
11/10/08 Monday 1:55p Lydia received call from Tere, instead of visit tomorrow, would I like to go to Brittney’s swim awards @ 6:00p. I agreed.
11/11/08 Tuesday 3:21p Brittney’s Facebook status still shows her in relationship.
11/11/08 Tuesday 6:00p Brittney’s swim awards @ Natrona County High School. Didn’t go well. She said hello & goodbye. Other than that, like I wasn’t even there.
11/13/08 Thursday 2:58p Lydia left message for Deanna to confirm visit tonight.
11/13/08 Thursday 5:06p Lydia left message #2 for Deanna to confirm visit tonight.
11/13/08 Thursday Lydia sent 2nd emails to 3 Wyoming senators asking for help in case.
11/18/08 Tuesday 4:15p Lydia left message for Deanna to confirm visit tonight.
5:14p Lydia received call from Deanna that per GAL there will be no visit & if any questions to call the GAL.
11/18/08 Tuesday 5:30p Lydia called GAL office & they gave home number. Left message on home voice mail.
7:57p Lydia as of this time numerous calls to home & office numbers as well as left 2 messages with no call back.
11/19/08 Wednesday 8:10a Lydia attempted 2 more calls to GAL home, no message. Left message on voice mail at GAL office. Also attempted call to Tere, no message left.
10:00a Child Support Enforcement meeting scheduled. Lydia had to cancel due to on new job for only 2 days.
10:50a No answer at GAL office
10:51a Unable to leave message for Tere @ DFS mailbox full
10:59a Receptionist @ DFS tried 2 supervisors & got voice mail
11:02a Tere finally reached, GAL was to file motion but doesn’t know why
11:24a Left message @ GAL office
1:22p Call to Tere, voice mail full unable to leave message1:24p GAL office, she is not in.
2:30p GAL office, she is not in.
2:31p DA’s office, Kevin not in
2:32p Tere, motion is to suspend visits until MDT classes completed.
3:47p Tere called back to confirm motion is to suspend visits. I questioned and complained why I am being punished for what I didn’t know. She wants me in her office on Friday @ 4:15 for her “help”.
11/19/08 Wednesday 4:20p Lydia, meeting with Tere & her Supervisor Carol. Tere spent most time hammering on the issue of Lydia not leaving Joe. Lydia spent most time complaining that I had never been through this before, why am I being punished when I didn’t know I was supposed to have to take care of calling these people. You have controlled everything else, I just assumed you would be having people contact me. Tere gave me the name of CWCC & the doctor to call there to set it up. She will get me a list for the parenting classes and anger management classes.
11/23/08 Sunday Lydia sent emails to NPRA, Rutherford, Family Defense Center, Pacific Justice, and Gloria Allred asking for help with my case.
11/24/08 Monday 11:27a Lydia left message for Tere requesting copy of letter from Dr. Naginey (Brittney’s counselor) because it was not included in motion filed by GAL & to call back to confirm she received message.
11:01a Lydia left message on voice mail for Dr. Mike Bjornson @ CWCC to schedule psych eval.
11/24/08 Monday 12:35p Lydia received call from Tere to confirm message & will get copy of Dr. Naginey letter
11/24/08 Monday Lydia received email back from Karen Wagner (NPRA) to contact Dr. Monty Weinstein for help.
11/24/08 Monday Lydia received email back from Kevin @ Pacific Justice. Can’t help because case not of religious nature. Suggested legal aid.
11/24/08 Monday 7:37p Lydia still have not received call from GAL as to why visit canceled on 11/18.
11/24/08 Monday Lydia received copy of motion filed by GAL to suspend visitation
11/25/08 Tuesday 11:11a Lydia left message #2 on voice mail for Dr. Mike Bjornson @ CWCC to schedule psych eval.
3:11p Lydia received message from Dr. Bjornson asking for DFS caseworker name.
4:02p Lydia left message on voice mail to Dr. Bjornson with Tere name and phone number and to schedule eval on 12/16 if possible.
12/1/08 Monday 9:19a Lydia called Peter Lomtevas’ office to confirm he received my emails.
11:11a Lydia LMVM for Dr. Bjornson to follow up if received a message/reached Tere Gabel to set up appt on 12/16/08.
8:08p Lydia received call from Peter Lomtevas to discuss issues of case, the timeline and his role/fees.
12/2/08 Tuesday 11:14a Lydia, LMVM for Tere Gabel that I still have not received the copy of the letter from Dr. Naginey that was filed with the motion on 11/24/08 by Mary Ann the GAL and that Dr. Bjornson is trying to contact her to schedule psych eval and for her to call me back to confirm she has received my message and status of these items.7:44p Brittney’s myspace status “wants to see her boyfriend” found out on facebook that boyfriend=Adam and facebook shows “in a relationship”
12/8/08 Monday 11:02a Lydia LMVM for Peter Lomtevas
12/10/08 Wednesday 11:34a Lydia received telephone call from Shawn Evans of PASSAGE, Inc.
12/15/08 Monday 4:42p Lydia, received phone call from Peter Lomtevas. Discussed case in length and detail as to how for me to write up motions, what to say and to motion for a court appointed attorney.
8:00p Lydia, typed up 3 motions for the court:1) Opposition Motion2) Motion for continuance3) Motion for Contempt on Visitation(I will post these as soon as I look back though them and see if I need to edit out anything)
12/16/08 Tuesday 9:30a 1) OPPOSITION TO MOTION TO SUSPEND VISITATION/OPPOSITION TO MOTION TO ORDER PARENT TO COMPLY WITH CASE PLAN 2) MOTION FOR CONTINUANCE FOR MOTHER TO OBTAIN LEGAL REPRESENTATION 3) MOTION FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT FOR VIOLATION OF VISITATION ORDER all filed by Lydia with the court.
12/16/08 Tuesday 10:00a Hearing on Motion filed by GAL to suspend visitation. Judge orders: visits suspended, psychological eval, GAL to get Lydia copy of Dr. Naginey letter, Lydia given court appointed attorney.
12/25/08 Thursday Britt is pulled over by police in a traffic stop (her foster parents have purchased her a car (that's not witness tampering!!!) it is snowing, she barely has her license and she is pulled over for "playing with a camera phone" WTF????? Additionally, she posts this information on BOTH facebook and myspace (again, remember this, it will be important later)12/29/08 Monday 11:36a Lydia lmvm of Tere Gabel re: not yet received copy of Dr Naginey letter and still awaiting psych eval appointment.
12/31/08 Wednesday 4:15p Lydia met with court appointed attorney (Wendy O.) to discuss case. Appears to be on case begrudgingly, opening statement: “what exactly is it you want me to do?” “My best advice is to just do as they ask, it isn’t worth it to fight the system” and “In my 17 years of doing this I have never had a case where the parents didn’t get the child back after jumping thru all the hoops”
1/9/09 Friday 9:50a Lydia spoke to Rob re: Brianna & Steinburg
9:55a Lydia spoke to Wendy re: her meeting with GAL & accusation that I am still not following case plan. Advised Wendy of dates of contact & with whom in order to attempt to follow case plan. Her advice – for me to call yet again.
9:57a Lydia spoke to Tere G re: still no copy of Dr. Naginey letter, still waiting on list for anger mgmt classes she stated she would get to me back on 11/21/08, and still awaiting appt for psych eval – advised “get the lead out – I’m tired of being punished because you don’t do your job”. Tere claimed there had been fire at the office last week and she still needs a court order. (gee I wonder why I was ordered to take anger management classes...lol)
4:00p Joe, emergency continuance granted (just barely) because Army will not acknowledge (ok they acknowledged it enough to say that since she was in a training environment they couldn't let her go) the Subpeona to Brianna.
1/12/09 Monday 3:50p Lydia, received call from Wendy to reschedule our Friday appointment to Thursday @ 4:15p
1/15/09 Thursday 4:15p Lydia, meeting with Wendy Owens
1/18/09 Sunday Brittney’s facebook/myspace status updated to reflect she has been grounded.
1/23/09 Friday Disposition hearing Judge Skavdahl orders:1) Visitation remains suspended2) GAL recommends Jean M. (LCSW) to be my therapist & suggests condensing my therapy, anger mgmt, parenting, psych eval, and even dual counsel with Britt if she is able to do all.3) Brittney was there and due to speak to say she didn’t want visits but Judge didn’t have her speak, because "nothing good will come of it".
1/30/09 Friday 4:15p Lydia appointment with Jean M
2/3/09 Tuesday 4:15p Lydia appointment with Jean
2/10/09 Tuesday 1:00p Lydia appointment with Jean
2/17/09 Tuesday 1:00p Lydia appointment with Jean
2/19/09 Thursday 11:59a Lydia, received call from Jessica @ CWCC, psych eval scheduled for 3/23/09 @ 10a
1:00p Lydia appointment with Jean
3/2/09 Monday 3:15p Lydia appointment with Jean
3/10/09 Tuesday 4:00p Lydia appointment with Jean
3/11/09 Wednesday Lydia, received in mail my copy of formal notice from Kristi DePoorter that allegations of abuse were substantiated against Joe.Lydia, received in mail letter from Cynthia Loomis in response to e-mail I sent her, Enzi & Barrasso, that she has forwarded my email/letter to Governor Freidenthal.
3/12/09 Thursday 4:00p Lydia appointment with Jean
3/16/09 Monday (My 40th birthday) 9:00a Joe’s criminal trial begins.Jury Seated.Opening Arguments.Brittney Testifies.
3/17/09 Tuesday 9:00a Joe’s criminal trial continues.Brittney finishes testifying.Brooks Testifies.Pam Testifies.Officer Steinburg Testifies.
3/18/09 Wednesday 9:00a Joe’s criminal trial continues. Audio recording Officer Steinburg illegally taped at trailer is played for court.Officer Steinburg finishes testifying. Lydia testifies. Brianna testifies. Case to jury @ 4p Jury returns Not Guilty verdict on all 3 counts @ 5:30p.
3/24/09 Tuesday Lydia appointment with Jean.
3/31/09 Tuesday 4:00p Lydia appointment with Jean.
4/3/09 Friday Leave Casper to return to Florida.

Feeling Like A Slacker

2009-09-19T15:56:00.006-04:00

First of all, I would like to apologize to all of you for my being absent so long. Now that I have gone back to work (which don't get me wrong, I AM glad about) I find myself not having as much time to surf the internet anymore.

Not only has my blog been neglected, my "cause" on facebook, somehow in my absence, has grown to over 400 members. In one respect that's a grat thing, that somehow I have been able to reach that many people. One the other hand there are 2 things that are sad about it. I am not the one who brought that group to so many people and it's sad that in this day and age a "cause" or blog or anything is even needed for this type of thing. I know I say that alot, but it still amazes me that we are having this kind of problem.

Quite a bit has been going on this last couple of weeks, even though I have been feeling like a slacker. My job is going great. It seems that I came into my boss' life at just the right time. He has had to be spending alot of time up at the hospital with his wife that has taken seriously ill. Another family friend of ours has ended up in the hospital with watch started with a stroke, then went to having to have part of her leg amputated. Another friend of mine that I have had for over 20 years, her son has been ill. Joe's dad is going to be having surgery on one of his knees. I mean, it has been crazy. I am getting to the point where I am affraid to answer my phone or my email or anything for fear of more bad news.

In other news, my legally kidnapped daughter Brittney, has started college. She hasn't gone to the Art Insitute in Colorado because someone finally figured out after trying to push her out the door for the last few months that SUPRISE she's not going to be 18 and can't take out student loans. So she has enrolled in the local college but get this, rather than keep her living with the foster parents, they have her in a dorm. Nothing like spending the taxpayers money. She also receives $1000/month from the State for being in foster care but under "independent living". Unbelievable. But she is carrying a full class load (4 classes) and working 2 jobs. And now living without any type of parental/adult supervision on a college campus, and she is NOT 18 years old. She is so busy now that she is barely online anymore. It's been about 3 weeks since she has even bothered to check her email. She isn't on facebook, myspace or even twitter anymore. So now I am getting worried because thos little things let me at least know she is still alive.

I am still communicating with my counselor Jean. I am grateful that we are still in contact. I mean, she is the ONLY good thing that came out of this whole crappy mess. While I have moved and we are no longer able to meet face to face we still talk on both the phone and via email. She has been a tremendous help to me and went the extra mile to "prove" to me that she was not part of "the system". In fact, she has been kind of having to fight for herself here lately. The "system" ordered me to see her and yet the "system" has refused to pay her. She is still fighting over money for my sessions from back in March and April. I mean come on, it's not like they are hurtring for the money. They are bilking the feds outta enough they should be able to pay her. Although, could it be that is their form of "punishment" for her for being on my side? For not conforming and calling me nuts and what not?? I am glad that one thing has come out of her and I being brought together. She no longer takes "DFS referals". She continues to be in private practice (thank GAWD, because she is a really good person and counselor) but she no longer takes patients that DFS pays the bills for (or in my case doesn't pay the bill for...lol). She made a stand in her own way and I am so proud of her for it. She has a couple of patients that are currently in battles with DFS but they were not referred to her by DFS and they are not paying their bill. I am glad that at least in Wyoming, parents have a champion to fight for them :)

I have been reading my emails periodically and it seems there MAY be some exciting things coming down the pike in this fight against CPS/DFS. Apparently there has been a number a lwasuits filed in State courts and even the Supreme Court. Looks like there might be some new legislation coming to the forfront as well. I have seen some petitions asking for new legislation as well. Seems like there are quite a few people making quite the noise on this subject. Which is both unfortunate and a great thing. You know why I think it's unfortunate - I have only said it what seems like a hundred times on this very blog :) But it is also great because that means our collective voice is gaining volume. the louder we get the less they can ignore us. The less they can ignore us the more they have to change the current status quo. Which in the end could only be a good thing, right?

I have added some more "helpful links" for those of you that like to use them. If you haven't already looked through them, please do so. You will find some great people out there in similar situations, resources, lawyers, groups, more blogs, and maybe a shoulder or two to lean on. As always, feel free to share your stories here or even links that you have found to groups or blogs or whatever you think might help the next person. I am not so tightassed that I won't allow it. In fact, I would prefer you did it. Anything we can do to help one another in anyway we can. We have to stick together because that is the only way things will change.

Have a great rest of the weekend all. I continue to pray for all of you each day and hope that someday soon you all get a happy ending to your own family's personal nightmare.

Various Struggles

2009-08-26T08:45:00.003-04:00

Hello all. Sorry I have been so quiet here lately but alot has been going on. Some has been good and some has been not so good.

Good news - My quest to find employment has finally come to an end and just in time. I only had 1 more unemployment check coming to me when I got the news that I got a job that I had interviewed for 2 couple of days prior. I have been here 2 weeks now. I like it so far. I don't really have to learn anything new except "the business" of what this company does. That is a little bit scary for me and seems to be taking a bit for me to grasp since I am not exactly mechanically inclined...lol.

Bad news - The night before I was to start my new job, the repo man finally found 1 of our vehicles. So, I have been arriving to work (which happens to be in a gated community with a golf course...lol) in a tow truck. Joe has been having to transport me to and from work. Which has proven to be a bit inconvenient on a couple of levels..lol.

Good news - My oldest daughter Brianna has returned back from her 2 week annual training and once again seems temporarily motivated. We are trying very hard to keep that momentum going. Although her and I had a heart to heart deep discussion last night and she proceeded to share with me her fears of "going off" and trying to succeed in her life because she worries about "bad stuff" happening every time she leaves. She is more upset over the truck being gone than I am...lol. I tried to stress to her the importance of not sacrificing herself because she is worried about us. I attempted to point out the positives of our situation with a little bit of humor. I mean, yes we are staying in a hotel, but hey, we finally have that maid service we have always wanted...lol. Little things like that. I told her what was important to me was for to go out and succeed in her own life. That I loved her that much more because of her concern for us, but that it would break my heart if she were to stay and miss out on opportunities because of us.

Bad news - The tow truck needs breaks and has been down for what will be the 2 day now. Although this one is split news. Yes, the tow truck with no air conditioning needs breaks. But I have had to use a car service instead, cushy leather interior, air conditioning, a guy who opens the doors for you, and who even seranaded me one day...lol...a girl could get used to this...lol. Luckily, he is giving me a little bit of a break because we actually met when he spent a couple of nights at the hotel where we are. I collect business cards cuz you never know when you are going to need something. And sure enough, a couple of months ago when we met and he has randomly stayed at the hotel from time to time, we see each other in the halls and say hi. So I called and needed his services for transportation and violaaaaaa, here we are.

Just basically dealing with it news - After months of the state trying to shove my younger daughter out the door prior to her being 18, someone finally woke up and did the math and figured out that she can not go to the art institute in colorado yet because she is not 18 and cannot take out any student loans on her own. So now she is attending the local college in casper. They have still shoved her out the door, she moved in to campus dorms this last week, but she is still in the state. The foster evils couldn't even be bothered to help her move into the dorms. The fosters have taken on some additional children these last couple of months, if my count is correct, I believe they are now at 9 kids. WTFE!!!!! Anyway. Brittney has been slightly communicating with my father but even that seems to have come to and end or at least slowed to a trickle because my father made the mistake of telling her she needed to talk to me. I told him it was a bad idea and that she would probably cut him off, but he didn't listen. WHY DOES NO ONE EVER LISTEN TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?

I continue to talk to my therapist from time to time. Although our talks have become less frequent as she has been busy disconnecting herself from the "machine" and amping up her private practice with NON DFS clients. I continue to be very lucky and blessed that she came into my life. I was the next to the last straw of her dealings with DFS. She had another client after I came into the picture, that was battling DFS too and she said that was it she was done. The fact that DFS didn't pay her for me didn't help matters any...lol...but hey, whatever it takes:) I would recommend her to anyone and everyone. She has time and again proven herself to be ethical, loyal, confidential, trustworthy and just plain good at what she does & I am sooo glad she is extending her private practice. Those people in that town have no idea how lucky they are. She has even commented to me that because of me and this other client, that is going to attempt to be an advocate in the fight against DFS. She is going to attempt to fight from a different angle she said.

Well, anyway. Don't think I have forgotten about my letter writting campaign and what not, I just have been so busy trying to settle into this routine of working again. Once I get things down here in the office, you can bet, those letters will be fllyyyyyying out the door :)

I keep you all in my prayers each night as I pray for some time of some what happy ending to this nightmare we are all experiencing. Keep your heads up and keep fighting. Stay strong!!!

Orange County and Costa Mesa Agree to Conduct a Review of Policies Relating to the Removal of Children from Their Home

2009-08-24T09:49:00.003-04:00

Fri Aug 7, 3:01 am ET

The County of Orange and the City of Costa Mesa recently settled a civil rights action brought by the mother and grandmother of a minor alleging the infant was removed from the family's home, without a warrant and in the absence of any emergency, in violation of the family's constitutional rights to familial association free from unwarranted government interference. The County of Orange and City of Costa Mesa, while denying the allegations of the complaint, agreed to pay a total of $70,000 and conduct a comprehensive review of their child removal policies to settle the case.

San Diego, CA (PRWEB) August 7, 2009 -- Debbie and Angeline Balsitis, the mother and grandmother of an infant who was removed from their home and detained by Orange County Social Services for approximately nine days in August 2006, alleged that social workers, with the assistance of Costa Mesa Police, removed the child in the absence of probable cause and without first obtaining a warrant to do so. The Balsitis's also alleged that once the child was removed from the home, social workers intentionally fabricated evidence and suppressed material exculpatory evidence, among other things, as part of their effort to continue to detain the child.

The suit also alleged that the policies, practices, or procedures employed by the County of Orange and the Costa Mesa Police Department in the removal of the infant from her mother's care violated the family's constitutional rights, under the Fourth and Fourteenth Amendments to the United States Constitution. The alleged unlawful policies, practices or procedures pertained to the removal of children without first obtaining a warrant to do so; the removal of children absent evidence to support a suspicion of imminent danger or serious physical injury; continuing detention of children after learning there was no basis to do so; and, failing to adequately train employees regarding the Constitutional rights of parents and grandparents who have a long standing custodial relationship with their grandchildren.

Orange County, The City of Costa Mesa, and the Costa Mesa Police Department, all defendants in the case, denied any wrongdoing. As part of the settlement both Costa Mesa and Orange County agree to conduct a policy review to ensure their policies and practices pertaining to the removal of children comport with law.

Lead counsel Shawn A. McMillan states "Our clients are hopeful this case will prevent other families from being shoved into a similar circumstance without just cause. I expect the Defendant municipalities, particularly the Social Services Agency, to implement procedures to prevent future similar constitutional violations."

San Diego area attorney Shawn A. McMillan, of the Law Offices of Shawn A. McMillan, APC., was Plaintiffs' counsel in the case.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/prweb/20090807/bs_prweb/prweb2723644/print

New Jersey: Deaths of Children in Foster Homes - Will the Cover Up Continue?

2009-08-23T03:21:00.000-04:00

The New Jersey Office of the Child Advocate wants to stop issuing information on individual cases of children killed in foster homes, preferring to focus on “annual reports on trends” instead, through their Child Fatality and Near-Fatality Review Board.
New Jersey’s State Department of Children and Families apparently intends to continue to release details about cases in which children are killed when under supervision of the state child welfare system.
There have been some terrible, mind-bending deaths of children in foster homes in New Jersey, including starvations. You can search the FightCPS archives for more New Jersey foster child death information.
Source: Clarification: Child welfare deaths story published on August 3, 2009 at Philly.Com.
The Cover-Up
Back when I started investigating child protective services, it was rare to hear about children killed while in foster homes. It seemed foster child deaths were covered up, white washed, and forgotten. In one California county a series of file cabinets full of reports of children abused in foster homes were found in a back room, the reports uninvestigated.
Child abuse in foster homes didn’t warrant investigations because there was no federal money to be made by taking children from bad foster homes. It still seems to be low-priority to many CPS social workers.
Federal funding is only given for taking children from their natural family homes, not from foster homes.
Things have changed in the last twenty years. Now foster child deaths are being reported on in newspapers more often, and those media businesses are demanding access to child welfare records about foster children killed while in state custody.
http://fightcps.com/2009/08/09/new-jersey-deaths-of-children-in-foster-homes-will-the-cover-up-continue/

CPS visits well known editor author and Constitutionalist William N. Grigg after hotline call

2009-08-23T03:16:00.001-04:00

CPS visits well known editor author and Constitutionalist William N. Grigg after hotline call

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DCF worker's alleged fib could be felony

2009-08-23T03:07:00.002-04:00

The state attorney's office is pursuing a felony charge against a Lee County case manager who allegedly lied about a visit with an 18-month-old foster child.
The inspector general for the Department of Children and Families recently shut its inquiry into 55-year-old Beauplan Menard, who was fired last year after the incident.
The charge carries a penalty of up to five years in prison.
Menard admitted the inconsistency and told officials it was a mistake, his personnel file shows.
The agency contracts the Children's Network of Southwest Florida to run foster care, which subcontracts Lutheran Services Florida to visit foster children under supervision.
"We uncovered this and terminated the case worker in question and reported it ourselves," said Sam Sipes, CEO of Lutheran Services Florida. "Our job is to ensure child safety, and you can't really ensure children are being kept safe unless you're meeting with the children."
Menard could not be reached for comment.
His attorney, Michelle Berthiaume, declined to connect The News-Press with him because of the pending charge.
"He's a gentleman with a very good record," she said. "He's very, very distraught he could be charged with something like this."
She said child welfare officials are using her client to snip themselves of liability. Her client lacked training and procedural information, the lawyer said.
"The Department of Children and Families has been under such scrutiny in the past that this is a way to scapegoat an individual," Berthiaume said.
"They're blaming Mr. Menard for something the department itself had an error in. ... We're really looking at the battered department syndrome."
Negative publicity hit the agency in 2002 when the state learned a Miami-Dade girl vanished from care unbeknownst to DCF, revealing flaws in the system. Her case worker had ceased face-to-face visits, accounts show. Rilya Wilson has never been found.
Lawmakers later toughened the penalty for child welfare officials who falsify records.
Samantha Syoen, spokeswoman for the state attorney's office covering Lee County, said her office issued a non-arrest warrant, or a notice to appear, in October 2008 that had not yet been served.
John Sheehan, a Lee sheriff's spokesman, said the office is trying to deliver the court summons.
"The agency has over 20,000 unserved warrants, and it might just come down to not encountering this individual," he said.
Berthiaume filed a not-guilty plea July 31, court records show. Her office said Menard had not been served, but a notice of appearance of counsel was filed to attain discovery in the case.
The inspector general's report states Menard recorded he had seen the child Feb. 19, 2008, "in good physical condition" and "appropriately dressed with clean clothes and had no visible marks."
The report details this about the alleged falsification: In April, the case was transferred to Jennifer Guyton after the child's caregiver began an adoption process.
The caregiver told Guyton "she had some concerns about Mr. Menard, as he did not seem very knowledgeable."
She told Guyton that Menard had visited the home but had not seen the child Feb. 19, although notes reported otherwise.
His personnel file shows he was hired for the $31,620 job in May 2005, and formerly worked as a teacher's assistant and security officer. His bachelor's is in psychology.
He failed his first child protection assessment test before passing by one point more than the required score, records show, although later performance reviews gave him excellent scores.
Sipes said Lutheran Services Florida audited Menard's case files and found no other potential violations.
Before he was fired, Menard was handling 19 active cases involving 38 children, the DCF report said. The Child Welfare League of America advises 12 active cases per month as a standard.
In early August, Berthiaume filed a motion asking the court to direct the state to produce particulars about the charge.
"They haven't showed he knew it was wrong," she said, noting the state must prove as much.
Syoen said evidence provided by law enforcement indicates a violation of law.
http://www.news-press.com/article/20090821/SS08/908210389/1075

CPS Disses Professionals And Takes Their Kids Too

2009-08-23T03:00:00.000-04:00

What do you know...another 3 year-old girl taken from a grandparent.

PRKris Coppedge, LMHC, LICSW has left a new comment on your post "WA State DSHS Supervisor Fired...No...I Am NOT Kidding":

My name is Kris Coppedge and I am a licensed mental health therapist and a licensed independent clinical social worker. I am also the foster grandmother of a 3 year old who is now in foster care. She lived with me for about 6 months. Her parents lived in my home with her for part of that time. I was unable to take custody of her and sought assistance from Children's Services in Lynnwood. I was greeted with rudeness, sarcasm, and refusal to dialogue. In spite of multiple attempts to invite conversation regarding my granddaughter's 6 months in my home, including medical treatment, daycare experiences, sleep problems, and my observations of her parents and their parenting skills, they refuse to listen. I am appalled at the poor social work practice. As a mental health therapist I periodically need to make a report to CPS as I am a mandated reporter. My dilemma is that I fear children and families will be damaged by the Department. The Department seems to thrive on power. Due to the Department's actions, my 3 year old granddaughter experienced broken bonds further contributing to an attachment disorder that may permanently impair her ability to function in the world.
Posted by State Senator Pam Roach at 8:45 PM
http://pamroachreport.blogspot.com/2009/08/cps-disses-professionals-and-takes.html

No Voice

2009-08-04T17:49:00.003-04:00

The passage below was written December 4, 2008 and is one of the items I got into trouble for with the Juvenile Court.

What do you do when you are going through your toughest times and you feel like you have no voice? That no one is listening to you? You think you are the only one?Some people write poetry, stories, things like that (which I have done over the years but usually only when I was happy). Some people get lost in music. It's the soundtrack to their lives (again guilty, love my anger music...lol).

But when you are in your darkest moment. When you feel all is lost, that there is no hope...what do you do? Do you pray? Do you drownd yourself in chocolate? Do you reach out to a friend? Do you drink? Do you reach for a drug?

What happens when you think, ok I'll take a chance and reach out. Maybe I am not the only one going through this. With the millions and millions of people in the world, surely I CAN'T be the only one. But how to reach those people. Not like you can pick up a phone book and just start calling...lol. Besides, in some ways you don't really want to talk. You just wanna know your not alone.

The internet. Some people think of it as a hassle. A tough to navigate, technological wonder that suddenly puts the world at your fingertips. However when used just right, you can make friends, find out answers to medical questions, heck you can even email the president if you want. Or you can just make a simple statement or send a simple email and BAM!! The answer is shot right back to you.....Your not alone, your not crazy and your NOT imagining things.Suddenly, not only do you find people going through the EXACT same thing you are, not similar but EXACT. You begin to find strength. You begin to hope. Both of which can often times not always be good things. I mean, we have all hoped at some point in our lives only to be let down. Even something so simple as "I hope that boy asks me to the prom." And yet when that boy doesn't, you feel disappointed, hurt, maybe even alone.

You try to fight the feelings of strength and hope. Don't wanna let yourself go there too far. Don't wanna be let down. But for some reason, this time is different. You have no control. Despite your best efforts not to hope, it's happening.

Through the strength of others, can you find your voice again? Do you want to find it or is it safer to let someone else speak for you? Will they be heard? Will they succeed? If they fail, will it be easier to blame them rather than be forced to blame yourself? But are you really going to be off the hook that easily, I mean ok they fail, but you are still to blame cuz you allowed yourself to let them speak for you.

Finding ones own voice isn't always easy. It is very much an uphill battle. The question is - are you up for that battle? Are you willing to be knocked down and ignored in order to finally be heard?

I personally have stood and fought many a battle both for myself, my daughters, my friends and even my daughter's friends. I am not eve sure if I have found my voice yet and I am probably what alot of "young people" today would call pretty darn close to middle age....lol. Admittedly I am still working on it. I have definately been a believer of if it does't work this way, let's try that way.

Well, I am trying "that way" since "this way" seems to be failing miserably. But if there is one thing EVERYONE who knows me should know by now - I DON'T GIVE UP!!! Admittedly I get down, feel hopeless, cry, scream, stress. But in the end, there is always another way to try.I hope this little mission allows me to find my voice, if not for myself, maybe I can help others. I know others are helping me. And right now, we share a voice and hopefully soon our voices will be joined by thousands of others.

Just Trying to Survive

2009-08-04T17:43:00.003-04:00

The passage below was written November 12, 2008 and is one of the items I got into trouble for with the Juvenile Court.

You know as each day passes and dawn comes I hope it will bring something new. Lately that seems to be just a dream.
Each day I wake up hoping my appetite has returned, yet it hasn't. I hope that today will be the day I actually get a call from my child, yet it never comes. My nerves have gone beyond shot at this point. I actually awake each day wondering why I have woken up and why I should even bother to get out of bed.
How do you make a child understand the pain when your not even allowed to discuss it. How do you make people understand who don't know you, don't know your family, yet they have decided to come n and take over your life.
How do you get help when no one will help you because of a technicality. Yet no matter what you are treated as the villain.All you can do is sit by and watch as your world crumbles around you. How are you supposed to come back from that?
I try desperately to remind myself every day that there is always someone worse off than me. When I pray my first prayers are always of them and those who are giving of themselves for our country's freedom, then I come to myself. Telling myself there is someone worse off than me while it may sound selfish should help me in some ways one would think. But by the same token I can't help but focus on my pain and my loss.
All the warning signs of nothing ever being good enough, accused of never being proud enough or loving her enough, they were all there all these years. Yet I still was blindsided. So easily replaced. So easily forgotten about.
Nothing brought this home more than last nights events. First of all to be invited to be a part of my own childs life by strangers wasn't bad enough but then to basically be shunned. All that was missing was the perverbiale knife...the pain thru my heart sure felt like there was one there.
I have spent the biggest part of today wondering "what the hell was I there for?" I have yet to figure that out. The only thing I can come up with is that I was there to be a doormat or for there to be somewhere for the knife to go. Other than that I have no clue.
I spend alot of each day simply trying to keep the tears from my eyes. Getting updates on my own flesh and blood from facebook of all places. Pretending to be strong for what few there are around me. I mean afterall I do have another child well shes not a child anymore. Shes growing up, spreading her wings and finding her way. Being so proud of her is a mixed blessing. I so desperately need her here with me to hold on to but at the same time so thankful she isn't here to see the pain.
My days used to be filled with the 2 lights of my life - my reason for living. Now they are just filled with pain. Not knowing what to do. And lets not forget the fact that I allow myself to be kicked in the stomach at least once a week sometimes twice (it's supposed to be 3 times a week - should I be angry or thankful..lol). But I am the only one who is supposed to follow the rules. No one else has to. Yet no one will help me either. I am just here, alone, to be kicked, run over, forgotten about and replaced.
How do you survive that?

Being A Mom

2009-08-04T17:34:00.004-04:00

This passage below was written back on November 2, 2008. This is one of the items I got into trouble for with the Juvenile Court. They said I wrote it specifically to hurt my daughter. Yet months later, my court ordereed therapist saw it, read it and said she couldn't understand their thinking. It made perfect sense to her and she was able to see the pain I was expressing and exactly how deep it went.

It is amazing how when you decide to be a mom all everyone can talk about it what a wonderful experience it is. How much love and joy is brought into your life from the moment they are born. Well what about the trials and tribulations. All the things that can go wrong. No one ever talks about that.

The last couple of months I have given serious thought to that very thing. I have looked back over the years thinking, analyzing, wondering.

Don't get me wrong there have been some wonderful moments. The days each of my daughters were born to date are the most amazing moments in my life. Their first steps their first words - I was so proud. Their first days of school - walking them into their kindergarden classes - I was torn, my babies were growing up my eyes filling with tears at pride but yet missing the fact I wouldn't be able to spend all day with them anymore. People other than myself would now have influence over my girls. Would be helping to teach them. But like all parents I had to let them go.

As years pass and the girls grow times change they change heck even I change. I have watched them grow into the most beautiful young women. The love I have felt for them and given to them has not only consumed my heart but it has been the motivation behind everything I have done for them. Working at the first school they attended for the first couple of years they were there. Not just putting them into basketball but serving on the board, being a scorekeeper, and team mom for both teams. Watching as they grew and decided to participate in Rainbow Girls. I was always at the dances, helping where I could. Field trips and outtings and fundraisers. Their days at the Boys and Girls Clubs, volleyball games, more field trips and even giving things to the club that we no longer needed and felt they needed more than we did.

Pre-Teen years arriving, hormones raging, girls trying to discover their independence. The fights, the arguments the disaggreements. I thought these would be the toughest days of my life. But tougher ties were still ahead. The screaming the shoving the counseling were all just a training ground.Of course I had no idea at the time.The teenage years here. The girls beautiful and smart. Opportunities coming for them I never had. Struggling each day to make sure they would have even if I did not. And who knew high school especially senior year could be sooo expensive...lol. Tougher choices coming each day not only for the girls but for me as well. They weren't babies anymore. Employers no longer understanding how important being with your children still is (now probably more than ever). Watching as one daughter finds her way, find her niche. And blossoms because of it. Watching as the other daughter slowly slips away. Looking back now you can see her slipping away but of course you couldn't see it then. Looking back now you can see every I love you said means nothing. Every I am proud of you just rolls off the back like it was never said. Every show up doesn't matter cuz your not really there. You are slowly replaced.

They say hind sight is 20/20 and they are right. Those who only have one child don't understand. Your first child is for lack of a better term your training child. You try things. You do what the books say. You take the advice. You try to find what works for you. The next child. You think you have it down. Things are a little easier. You supposedly know what to expect. Yet somehow at some point, you never see it coming but it was all wrong. When did it happen, when did she slip away? What caused it? As always looking back you may see some of the signs but when it's happening you are completely unaware.

These last few months have been the MOST difficult I have ever had to endure. As one daughter matrues, graduates and chooses her career path the other choosing a path there is no turning back from and there is NOTHING you can do about it. You are litterally on the outside looking in. Others are pulling the strings. All you can do is sit back and watch. All the sacrifices you have made all the lessons you tried to teach all being washed away. And you are just supposed to sit back and take it. Your not supposed to be angry. Your not supposed to be moved at all. Your just supposed to take it.

I quess the biggest thing I wonder about right now is how is a mother supposed to come back from this? Having your heart ripped out, being replaced as if you were just a pair of old shoes that the sole has worn out. How do you come back from the pain? How do you forgive the pain? What do you do with the hurt? Do you just stiffle it? Ignore it? Any pride you may have once had replaced by anger, loneliness, hurt and ironically feeling of abandonment.

Now all alone I no longer have the girls to fill my days. All I have are hurt, anger and loneliness to fill my days. The worst thing sometimes is to be alone with your own thoughts. Life is definately different. It's empty. What's the point of waking up each day? You know all that will great you is more hurt, anger and disappointment. With all the things that can go wrong in your life and try to beat you down, nothing can do it faster or harder than the loss of a child. Specially when it could have been prevented, if you had only seen the signs sooner. They say there is nothing like the love of a mother for a child. But amazing how that can just be erased and replaced when a child just thinks life is unfair and decides to go down a path that simply erases you from their life. Replaces you. You no longer exist.

Again I ask, how do you come back from that and erase the pain???

New Formula Needed: States Violate Citizens Constititional Rights for Federal Money

2009-07-31T08:55:00.001-04:00

Congress and President Bush have given State money to prevent Child Abuse, Neglect, and Abandonment. And to take off the street dangerous felons. These are bad ideas. States have taken children away from their parents to get the promised Federal money. Also, in Florida, the police will set up citizens then lock them up for more of the money.

Please create a new formula to transfer the payments. Perhaps, money should go to help parents maintain control of their children and not be taken away. And to keep people out of jail. Or rehabilitate them outside of jail.

State in relationship to child abuse, try parents for the crime of child abuse, in a civil trial to circumvent their constitutional protections of beyond a reasonable doubt. They currently use clear and convincing and preponderance of the evidence. Standards that make it too easy for them to take away parents rights.

Parental rights which are constitutional protected should not be terminated in a civil trial. This should be tried as a crime to give parents their constitutional rights.

Parentalrights.org -- The Supreme Court's Parental Rights Doctrine

2009-07-31T08:37:00.001-04:00

Parentalrights.org -- The Supreme Court's Parental Rights Doctrine

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THE CORRUPT BUSINESS OF CHILD PROTECTIVE

2009-07-30T13:42:00.003-04:00

Click the title link above to be taken to the report Senator Nancy Schaefer did back in November 2007 and was updated in September 2008

From the legislative desk of Senator Nancy Schaefer 50th District of
Georgia

November 16, 2007
Updated: September 25, 2008

THE CORRUPT BUSINESS OF CHILD PROTECTIVE
SERVICES
BY: Nancy Schaefer
Senator, 50th District

Kids Count Data Center

2009-07-30T10:17:00.002-04:00

Click the title above and be taken to the Data Book

The 2009 KIDS COUNT Data Book

Counting What Counts: Taking Results Seriously for Vulnerable Children and Families: The 20th annual KIDS COUNT Data Book profiles the well-being of America’s children on a state-by-state basis and ranks states on 10 key measures of child well-being. The Data Book essay calls for a “data revolution” that uses timely and reliable information to track the progress and improve the lives of vulnerable children.

Attorney Quits & Child Support Ordered

2009-07-25T21:50:00.004-04:00

Well, this last week has been an eventful one for sure.

You may have seen the email/letter I posted last week that was sent to my court appointed attorney where I am basically asking her what the hell her next move is & if she will represent me in the child support hearing. Well, I was lucky to get a response at all but it took her a week to respond to me and she only did that when I sent a second email basically saying you haven't responded to my last email, what are you doing? In her response she stated that there was nothing she could do and she would submit the papers to the court to withdraw from representing me because "there is nothing further she can do to help me." Which I politely responded, since you haven't helped me thus far, I agree, you can't help me.

She was kind enough to jump right on filing that motion to remove herself from representing me. We were emailing at 4pm east coast time and by 10 am east coast time the next day, she had that motion typed up and out in email form to myself and all the parties involved. I can't say that I am suprised, pissed, ohh yeah, but definately not suprised.

In another bold move by the State of Wyoming, they are suing me for child support of the child they stole from me. That hearing was this week. The Judge was kind enough to let me appear by phone. And in an ironic twist, the presiding Judge for the child support case is the same Judge that presided over the criminal trial of my fiance. One would go out on a limb and think that that might actually be helpful but alas it was not because guess what, I am homeless and unemployed but I have been ordered to pay $289 per month in child support for a child I am prohibited from seeing or talking to. Unbelievable.

At this point I am not sure what to do. My fiance thinks I should just give up and walk away and forget the fight and just move on. My oldest daughter thinks the same thing only her reasons are different, she just hates her sister for destroying our family. In some ways I think she feels like she is having to pay the consequences too and she didn't do anything and wasn't even around when this whole crap started. Maybe this is how they ultimately win. They break you down and let you beat your head against a stone wall until you literally have no head left and just give up. I feel like that is what I am very close to. I just do not know what to do. I know what I need to do and that is to have $10k and I know exactly what attorney I could hire...lol.

WASHINGTON SENATOR PAM ROACH, DID NOT VIOLATE STATE ETHIC LAWS

2009-07-15T15:32:00.000-04:00

WASHINGTON SENATOR PAM ROACH, DID NOT VIOLATE STATE ETHIC LAWS

http://www.tri- cityherald. com/1514/ story/633628. html -

An October 2008 complaint alleging Sen. Pam Roach, R-Auburn, violated ethics laws by releasing confidential information about someone who made a complaint against her was dismissed. Roach reportedly had been trying to help grandparents of a child who had been placed in foster care and posting about the situation in her personal, non-legislative blog. The foster mother complained that Roach had slandered her and made personal attacks in the blog. The foster mother also claimed personal information about her had been revealed, although Roach never said her name. The board found that while Roach had used her office to advocate for the grandparents in court and with the Department of Social and Health Services, her actions didn’t violate state laws. The board also found that disclosure of any of the foster mother’s personal information did not violate ethics laws.

Latest Email to Court Appt Attorney

2009-07-15T15:16:00.003-04:00

Below is a copy of the latest email I sent to my court appointed attorney. Keep in mind, if you do something similar, I included 2 attachments, #1 the statutes violated by judge and #2 the statutes violated by the investigators. Also keep in mind, I did not send her everything because I still don't trust this woman, so I do not even want her having all of the ammo I have so far. I also have not let her know that I will be doing the same with the DFS P&P manual. Here is a suprise, I haven't heard a word from her (I emailed it friday).

From: Lydia Henderson
To: Wendy
Sent: Friday, July 10, 2009 5:15:11 PM
Subject: Status

Wendy,
I have not heard any response from you since the March 31 and April 7th email responses I sent to you. This will make email number 3. I am curious to know what if anything is going on. I have not heard anything from you, Mary Ann, Tere, Brittney, no one and neither has my therapist who IS the only person I am hearing from.

I noticed during the criminal trial that unlike the others, you failed to take an interest or be present so that you could obtain information relevant to the juvenile case. A couple of things came out in that trial that I found to be curious that no one seemed to question or be willing to acknowledge were out and out lies. Brittney made a statement on the stand that she had not seen her father since she was approx two years old. This is an out and out lie. Brittney has NEVER met, seen, spoken to her father and unless someone from DFS told her, she doesn’t even know his name. In addition, Pam Comer testified that the only reason she called DFS was because I “didn’t call Brittney or handle the situation in front of her.” If that doesn’t say “revenge tip” I don’t know what does. It also came out in testimony that the ONLY persons Brittney told any “details” to was Steinburg and DePoorter. To Brooks Comer all she said was that Joe “messed” with her and she never said anything to Mark or Pam Comer, Brooks did. So what exactly were the “exigent” circumstances Steinburg and Depoorter used to illegally kidnap my daughter?? They had NO details until AFTER they removed her from the home. There were a lot of other things that came out as well, but this is just a couple of the things that jumped out at me and as my attorney you should have been interested in, that is IF you are working for ME and not DFS. I am not comfortable that you have had meetings, talks or whatever you call them with the individuals involved in the case outside my presence. On more than one occasion you have stated that you had “spoken to” so and so re: my case. While in one respect yes that is your job, given the fact that more than one of these individuals has proven untrustworthy and willing to not only lie but falsify documents/statements, speaking to them without me “in the room” so to speak, makes me not only uncomfortable but once again plays to the your not working for me but you are working for them.

Since things have been so quiet I have been doing research that as my attorney (supposedly) you should be doing and/or know. You will find these items attached to this email along with my notes on each item. While admittedly this has been a time consuming process, the truth is the payoff.

As my attorney, I would like for you to file whatever you have to file (I have no idea what it would be called) in order to PREVENT the action being taken against me by the State of Wyoming DFS for child support. There is to be a hearing later this month (I think it’s like the 23rd) to establish child support. Let’s never mind the fact that Brittney was taken from me illegally. However, she is gainfully employed (2 jobs if I am not mistaken) and is leaving for college. The Norcross’s will continue to receive funds from the State even though they will not be providing care for Brittney for almost 3 months. I should not have to provide additional support for her in order to pay for a vehicle which not only did I not purchase for her but did not authorize to be bought for her as well. I did not authorize ANY of the medical treatment she has received nor have I received copies of any reports from said treatments. Not to mention, I have been unable to maintain employment due to the constant requirements of meetings, therapy sessions, court hearings, stress, etc. I was unemployed the month of November, I was unemployed the month of February, and have been unemployed since April. I barely have the means to support myself (and I don’t have the state supporting me as she and the Norcross’ do). The bottom line is I should NOT be being sued for child support for expenses I DID NOT INCUR.

Also, do you recall the first time we met, right before I left you and I had a discussion about me getting Brittney back. I said to you my biggest fear was that I would jump through all of the “hoops” and I would not get Brittney back and you said to me that in your 17 years you had NEVER had that happen. Remember I didn’t believe you then? I believe that I have been proven correct. I have done all that I am supposed to in addition to Joe being found NOT GUILTY and yet – not only do I not have my daughter back but because of the system’s failure to follow it’s own statutes and policies, I have missed milestones in my daughter’s life that I will NEVER get back. Not to mention our relationship has been literally destroyed with little chance of recovery since there are 7 people insistent upon the fact of keeping us apart. I have already lost my daughter, my home, my vehicles, 3 family pets, countless jobs and income, my reputation, my nerves and my respect for the system. Exactly how much more am I supposed to lose?

In addition to jumping through all of these hoops, the seeing of a therapist, I have complied with. However I do not feel it is right for my therapist to be put in the awkward position of attempting to fulfill a contract to see me when she is not being compensated for her time. This in turn makes things a little awkward between us. I am curious to know, if the state can pay the Norcross’ in a timely fashion, why can’t they do the same to a therapist they demand I see?

So I guess at this point my question to you is, what are you doing or going to do? Are you going to finally stand up and fight for what’s right and work for me “your client” or are you going to continue to lay down and let the system walk all over you and me both and work for them? How do you sleep at night knowing you are an integral part of the system that tears families apart?

Report: Fla. child-welfare workers falsfied data

2009-07-15T13:53:00.000-04:00

Report: Fla. child-welfare workers falsfied data
http://www.orlandosentinel.com
The Associated Press
ORLANDO, Fla. -- More than 70 Florida child-welfare workers falsified records in the last two years, leaving 14 children in unsafe homes and causing the state Department of Children and Families to temporarily lose track of at least six other children, a newspaper reported Sunday.
The falsified records included reports about mandatory monthly visits with foster children and reports about child abuse investigations, according to a review of state and county records by the Orlando Sentinel. Caseworkers questioned about their phony paperwork repeatedly complained they had been assigned too many children to watch, the report said.
The newspaper said it found:
-Police discovered four foster children living in tents in a yard of a Wildwood house with no running water, food or clean clothing, the day after a caseworker reported she had inspected the home.
-A child wound up living with an uncle awaiting trial on child-rape charges after a Hardee County caseworker lied about making home visits.
-Two Hernando County children living with a grandfather who had been arrested for allegedly abusing his own child.
-A caseworker dropped a girl off at her aunt's for a weekend visit but never returned, stranding the girl there for three or four months.
No child was hurt because of the falsified reports, DCF said. But an investigation into the 2007 death of a neglected Jacksonville newborn revealed that his caseworker had falsified records in four other cases.
The number of confirmed falsifications amounts to about half a percent of the department's total caseload, said John Cooper, acting assistant DCF secretary for operations.
Half the caseworkers who falsified records in 2007 and 2008 were DCF employees, while the others worked for private contractors hired by the agency to supervise child-safety cases.
Nearly half were prosecuted, according to state and court records. Almost all were fired or quit.
The Child Welfare League of America recommends that social workers handle no more than 15 foster children's cases at any one time. DCF does not cap the number of cases its contractors and employees handle, though Judi Spann, the agency's deputy chief of staff, told the newspaper that the statewide average workload was 14 to 22 foster care cases per caseworker.
Florida overhauled its child-welfare system and began outsourcing much of its child-safety workers after authorities discovered in 2002 that a Miami foster child, 5-year-old Rilya Wilson, had been missing for 15 months without DCF knowledge. Her caseworker had stopped making face-to-face visits. The child has never been found.
DCF Secretary George Sheldon said the agency plans to police workers more closely. Those efforts include hand-held global-positioning units that allow caseworkers to write up notes in the field - and confirm that home visits took place.
Hundreds of the units are being tested in Miami, though a dispute over who should provide software for the system has stalled the effort.

Another Day

2009-07-08T08:13:00.003-04:00

Morning all. I hope everyone had a safe 4th holiday. I would say a happy one as well, but at a time known for families being together, when our families are not whole and not together, it's a little difficult to enjoy a holiday.
I know it seems like I have been quiet lately, but the statute project has turned out to be much larger than I had anticipated. I still think it is important though. I think the next major hurdle will be getting anyone to take notice once I start sending it out.
I try to remain hopeful that someone somewhere will take notice and do something, a news story, a review of policies, reprimands, anything that will either evoke change or hold persons accountable.
I do still believe that getting the word out is the critical thing. Shedding light on the darkness that is the big ugly business of so called child protection.
I would love to hear from anyone anything that they have done that has turned out well. Meaning, how did you chose to fight? Did you write a letter? Did you get an attorney (of course that is somewhat the easy way...lol)?
Don't get me wrong, I wish we had the money to get an attorney. Sometimes I think that is the only way anyone listens. But should it really be that way? I have asked the question before, if there are such blatant wrongs done, why do I need a 20k attorney to point it out?

PROJECT: Statutes violated by Judge

2009-06-25T11:28:00.028-04:00

Keep in mind when looking this over, this is JUST THE JUDGE. I have this same layout and appropriate statutes for DFS, the GAL, the ADA, the 2 investigators, the court appointed attorney for me, the foster parents, and the psychologist for Brittney. This will be the only one I post, unfortunately my blog does not support MS Word "tables". So it is incredibly labor intensive to copy and paste into this format and then multiply it by 7 people and talk about a project...lol. It is to give you an idea so that you can do the same for your particular case.

Appointed a GAL prior to need being established in violation of WS 3-2-104
3-2-104.� Appointment of guardian.
(a)� The court may appoint a guardian if the allegations of the petition as to the status of the proposed ward and the necessity for the appointment of a guardian are proved by a preponderance of the evidence.
No hearing had yet been held to determine a need thus no evidence presented.
(b)� The order appointing a guardian shall state the findings of the court, including:
(i)� The reasons why the ward is in need of a guardian;
(ii)� The appointment of the guardian;
(iii)� The duration of the appointment for a specified term or permanent, subject to W.S. 3-3-1101;
(iv)� The limited or plenary duties of the guardian.
{{NOTE: To date IF there is such a document, Lydia is NOT in possession of it nor has she seen reference to it.}}

3-2-106.� Appointment of a temporary or emergency guardian.
(e)� An emergency guardian may be appointed without notice to the proposed ward or the guardian ad litem only if the court finds by a preponderance of the evidence from affidavit or testimony that the proposed ward will be substantially harmed before a hearing on the appointment can be held.�
{{NOTE: Again this was NOT done PRIOR to appointing GAL.}}

Violated WS 3-2-107 by failure to appoint Reba Gallion (Brittney’s grandmother) as temporary guardian or GAL, even though she was present AND requested such appointment.

3-2-107.� Who may be appointed as guardian; preference for appointment of guardians.
a)� The court may appoint any qualified person as guardian of an incompetent person or a minor.� The court may not appoint a person to be a guardian of an incompetent person or a minor if the person proposed to act as guardian:
(c)� Subject to subsection (e) of this section, qualified persons have priority for appointment as guardian of an incompetent person in the following order:

(vii)� A relative of the respondent with whom the respondent has resided for more than six (6) months during the year preceding the filing of the petition;
(viii)� A relative or friend who has demonstrated a sincere, longstanding interest in the welfare of the respondent;.
{{NOTE: Reba lived with the family for 1 year prior to accusation as well as 13 years preceeding that year. Reba was present at the July 28, 2008 hearing, asked for custody of Brittney, Lydia agreed and Judge denied without just cause.}}
(e)� The court shall consider the priorities established in subsections (c) and (d) of this section, but shall not be bound by those priorities. The court shall appoint the person who is best qualified and willing to serve as guardian.
{{NOTE: A stranger as opposed to close family/grandparent is not in the best interest of the child. }}

Failed to advise the child of rights, contents, etc in violation of WS 14-3-409, b, i-vi. Child was NEVER present at ANY hearing.
14-3-409.� Taking of child into custody; informal hearing where no court order; conditional release; evidence; rehearing.
(b)� At the commencement of the hearing the judge shall advise the child and his parents, guardian or custodian of:
(i)� The contents of the petition and the nature of the allegations contained therein;
(ii)� Their right to counsel as provided in W.S. 14-3-422; {{NOTE: Asked for by Mr. Mangano and ignored.}}
(iii)� The right to confront and cross-examine witnesses or to present witnesses and evidence in their own behalf and the right to issuance of process by the court to compel the appearance of witnesses and the production of evidence; {{NOTE: This was NOT explained to either Brittney or Mr. Mangano nor was this afforded to Mr. Mangano during the adjudication hearing in September 2008.}}
(iv)� The right to a jury trial as provided in W.S. 14-3-423;
(v)� The right to appeal as provided in W.S. 14-3-432; and
(vi)� The state's obligation, pursuant to W.S. 14-3-431(d), to file a petition to terminate parental rights when a child has been placed in foster care under the responsibility of the state for fifteen (15) months of the most recent twenty-two (22) months unless the court finds that one (1) of the exceptions listed in W.S. 14-3-431(d) applies.

Failed to release child to parent due to lack of evidence presented to substantiate need for shelter/foster care in violation of IN ADDITION TO Mother not being charged or investigated 14-3-409, e.
14-3-409.� Taking of child into custody; informal hearing where no court order; conditional release; evidence; rehearing.
(e)� All relevant and material evidence helpful in determining the need for shelter care may be admitted by the court even though not competent in an adjudicatory hearing on the allegations of the petition.

Violated Constitutional 6th Amendment right as well as WS 14-3-409, b, iii, of Mr. Mangano to confront witness by not having Brittney testify or even available in open court
14-3-409.� Taking of child into custody; informal hearing where no court order; conditional release; evidence; rehearing.
(b)� At the commencement of the hearing the judge shall advise the child and his parents, guardian or custodian of:
(iii) The right to confront and cross-examine witnesses or to present witnesses and evidence in their own behalf and the right to issuance of process by the court to compel the appearance of witnesses and the production of evidence; {{NOTE: This was NOT explained to either Brittney or Mr. Mangano nor was this afforded to Mr. Mangano during the adjudication hearing in September 2008.}}

Violated WS 14-3-409, b, ii as it relates to Mr. Mangano’s right to an attorney as provided in WS 14-3-422 via the following:
a. Mr. Mangano asked court for counsel to be appointed both verbally and via court paperwork and one was not.
b. Mr. Mangano did not waive his right to counsel.
c. Juvenile trial was allowed to proceed and Mr. Mangano was adjudicated as the charges substantiated without counsel representation.
d. Allowed 2 attorneys in his court on September 30, 2008 to both act in dual roles. Mr. Taheri and Mrs. Budenske BOTH attempted to provide Mr. Mangano legal advice.

14-3-409.� Taking of child into custody; informal hearing where no court order; conditional release; evidence; rehearing.
(b)� At the commencement of the hearing the judge shall advise the child and his parents, guardian or custodian of:
(ii)� Their right to counsel as provided in W.S. 14-3-422; {{NOTE: Asked for by Mr. Mangano and ignored.}}

Failed to comply with WS 14-3-415, c. {{NOTE: Failed to ensure Brittney was present at ANY hearing and failed to ORDER her to appear.}}
14-3-415.� Presence of parent, custodian or guardian at hearing; failure to appear; avoidance of service; issuance of bench warrant.
(c)� If the child, his parents, guardian or custodian or any other person willfully avoids or refuses service of order to appear, or it appears to the court that service of the order will be ineffectual or that the welfare of the child requires that he be brought immediately into the custody of the court, a bench warrant may be issued by the court for the child or his parents, guardian, custodian or any person having the actual physical custody or control of the child. {{NOTE: Brittney failed to appear at ANY hearing, including testifying at the adjudication hearing and she was NEVER ORDERED to appear nor brought to court by Law Enforcement.}}

Failed to act in best interest of child/family by appointing a stranger as opposed to leaving child with mother who was not being charged or investigated in violation of WS 14-3-416.
14-3-416.� Appointment of guardian ad litem.
The court shall appoint a guardian ad litem for a child who is a party to proceedings under this act if the child has no parent, guardian or custodian appearing in his behalf or if the interests of the parents, guardian or custodian are adverse to the best interest of the child. A party to the proceeding or employee or representative thereof shall not be appointed guardian ad litem for the child. {{NOTE: I was there to act on Brittney’s behalf. I was not being charged or investigated. }}

Violated WS 14-3-418, a, by failure to issue a warrant at any time including PRIOR to childs removal from home.
14-3-418.� Search warrant; when authorized; affidavit required; contents of affidavit and warrant; service and return.
(a)� The court or a commissioner may issue a search warrant within the court's jurisdiction if it appears by application supported by affidavit of one (1) or more adults that a child is being neglected, unlawfully detained or physically abused and his health or welfare requires that he be taken immediately into custody, or it appears by application supported by affidavit of one (1) or more adults that evidence of child abuse exists. {{NOTE: No such order ever issued including PRIOR to removal of Brittney from the home.}}

Violated 14-3-426, a, by failing to inform Mother (who was NOT being charged or investigated) of the financial ramifications.
14-3-426.� Initial appearance; adjudicatory hearing; entry of decree and disposition; evidentiary matters; continuance of disposition hearing.
(a)� At their initial hearing, which may be held after a shelter care hearing or a transfer hearing, the child and his parents, guardian or custodian shall be advised by the court of their rights under law and as provided in this act. They shall also be advised of the specific allegations in the petition and given an opportunity to admit or deny them. They shall also be advised of the possible liability for costs of treatment or services pursuant to this act. {{NOTE: Lydia was NEVER advised of this by ANYONE. }} It is not necessary at the initial appearance for the district attorney to establish probable cause to believe the allegations in the petition are true. When a shelter care hearing is held in accordance with

W.S. 14-3-409, a separate initial hearing is not required if the child and his parents, guardian or custodian were present at the shelter care hearing and advised by the court as provided in this subsection.
{{NOTE: GAL (who should NOT have been appointed) will no longer be eligible to represent Brittney as of Aug 18, 2009 as she will be in Denver, Co attending college.}}

3-2-303.� Notice to court.
If a child subject to an ex parte order appointing a temporary guardian of a child for educational, medical care and dental care purposes is no longer living in the primary physical custody of the caregiver, the caregiver shall within three (3) business days notify the court in writing of the circumstances regarding the change in the primary physical custody and the court may make any order it deems appropriate.

Failure to issue or properly serve Orders to Appear in violation of WS 14-3-413 a, ii, iv
14-3-413.� Order to appear; contents thereof; when child taken into immediate custody; waiver of service.
(a)� After a petition is filed, the court shall issue an order to appear. The order shall: {{NOTE: There was NEVER an order to appear issued. There WAS a notice of setting.}}
(ii)� Direct the persons named therein to appear personally at the hearing and direct the person having actual physical custody or control of the child to present the child before the court at the hearing; {{NOTE: Brittney was NOT present at ANY of the hearings.}}
(iv)� Be directed to the child if fourteen (14) years of age or more. {{NOTE: Was NEVER directed at Brittney.}}

Failed to order child be present or order child brought to court in violation of WS 14-3-413, b.
14-3-413.� Order to appear; contents thereof; when child taken into immediate custody; waiver of service.
(b)� If it appears to the court by affidavit by the district attorney based on actual knowledge or on information and belief that the conduct, condition or surroundings of the child seriously endanger the child's health or welfare, that the child may be removed from the jurisdiction of the court or that the child will not be brought before the court notwithstanding service of the order, the court may direct in the order to appear that the person serving the order take the child into immediate custody and bring him before the court
{{NOTE: Brittney was NEVER ordered into court nor was anyone ordered to pick her up and bring her to court.}}

Allowed inaccurate documents to be filed as record stating Lydia and Brittney residents of Natrona County, when in fact were not as per WS 31-1-101, xxi, A.
31-1-101. Definitions.
(xxi) "Resident" means:
NOTE: Effective 1/1/2010, this section will read as follows:
(xxi) "Resident" for the purposes of this act and unless otherwise exempt, means any one (1) of the following:
(A) Any person, except a full-time student at the University of Wyoming or a Wyoming community college, who owns, leases or rents a place of residence within Wyoming and who, regardless of domicile, remains in the jurisdiction for a period of one hundred twenty (120) days or more; {{NOTE: Brittney in Natrona approx 2 weeks, Lydia in Natrona approx 3 days.}}

Failed to issue a search warrant at any time including PRIOR to removal of child from the home in violation of WS 14-3-418, b, ii, iii.
14-3-418.� Search warrant; when authorized; affidavit required; contents of affidavit and warrant; service and return.
(b)� The affidavit shall be in writing, signed and affirmed by the affiant. The affidavit shall set forth: {{NOTE: Failed to issue a search warrant.}}
(i)� The name and age of the child sought, provided that if the name or age of the child is unknown the affidavit shall set forth a description of the child sufficient to identify him with reasonable certainty and a statement that the affiant believes the child is of age to come within the provisions of this act;
(ii)� The affiant's belief that the child sought is being neglected, unlawfully detained or physically abused and his health or welfare requires that he be taken immediately into custody, and a statement of the facts upon which the belief is based; and {{NOTE: This information was NEVER provided PRIOR to Brittney being removed from the home.}}
(iii)� The affiant's belief that evidence of child abuse or neglect exists and could be obtained through forensic means, and a statement of the facts upon which the belief is based. {{NOTE: There was NEVER an order fro DNA/forensic testing or even a search warrant for removal of items from the home. }}

Failed to issue Order for physical exam and did Order mental exam, failed to provide mother with copies of results of both exams per WS 14-3-421.
14-3-421.� Reports of medical or mental examinations; use of results; copies.
The results of any medical or mental examination authorized or ordered by the court shall be reported to the court in writing and signed by the person making the examination. The results may not be considered by the court prior to adjudication but may be considered only in making a disposition under this act. Copies of the examination reports shall be made available to the child's parents, guardian, custodian or attorney upon request. {{NOTE: Failed to issue a court order for physical exam as well as failed to provide copies of report of physical exam done by NCS to Lydia. However, mental exam WAS ordered and Judge failed to provide copy of said report to Lydia.}}

Failed to provide mother with CAA guaranteed under 14-3-422, a, b, c. Requested numerous times between July 25-December 16, 2008.
14-3-422.� Advising of right to counsel required; appointment of counsel; verification of financial condition.
(a)� At their first appearance before the court the child's parents, guardian or custodian shall be advised by the court of their right to be represented by counsel at every stage of the proceedings including appeal, and to employ counsel of their own choice. {{NOTE: Lydia not under investigation or being charged, was told rights, and begged for a court appointed attorney numerous times between July 2008 and December 2008.}}
(b)� The court shall upon request appoint counsel to represent the child's parents, guardian or custodian if the child's parents, guardian or custodian are unable to obtain counsel. If appointment of counsel is requested, the court shall require the child's parents, guardian or custodian to verify their financial condition under oath, either by written affidavit signed and sworn to by the parties or by sworn testimony made a part of the record of the proceedings. The affidavit or sworn testimony shall state they are without sufficient money, property, assets or credit to employ counsel in their own behalf. The court may require further verification of financial condition if it deems necessary. {NOTE: Mr. Mangano as well as Lydia requested this numerous times. Court was advised Mr. Mangano had completed required paperwork and no attorney had yet been appointed.}}
(c)� The court may appoint counsel for any party when necessary in the interest of justice. {{NOTE: The court FAILED to provide counsel for either Lydia (until Dec 2008) or Mr Mangano at all. }}

Failed to advise Mr. Mangano OR mother of ability to have trial by jury in violation of WS 14-3-423, b.
Failed to order child into court or postpone hearing until child could be brought to hearing in violation of WS 14-3-423, a, ii, iv.
14-3-423.� Rights of parties generally; demand for and conduct of jury trial.
(a)� A party to any proceeding under this act is entitled to:
(i)� A copy of all charges made against him;
(ii)� Confront and cross-examine adverse witnesses; {{NOTE: The court FAILED to ORDER Brittney be present to testify or delay adjudication hearing until Brittney would be present.}}
(iii)� Introduce evidence, present witnesses and otherwise be heard in his own behalf; and
(iv)� Issue of process by the court to compel the appearance of witnesses or the production of evidence. {{NOTE: Failed to do this ex: Brittney appearance.}}
(b)� A party against whom a petition has been filed or the district attorney may demand a trial by jury at an adjudicatory hearing. {{NOTE: Mr. Mangano and Lydia were NOT advised this was an option.}} The jury shall be composed of jurors selected, qualified and compensated as provided by law for the trial of civil matters in the district court. The jury may be drawn from the jury panel of the district court or a special jury panel may be drawn from "jury box number three (3)" containing the names of persons residing within five (5) miles of the city or town where the trial is to be held, whichever the court directs. Demand for a jury trial must be made to the court not later than ten (10) days after the party making the demand is advised of his right to a jury trial. No deposit for jury fees is required. Failure of a party to demand a jury is a waiver of this right.

Failed to issue copies of any documents to mother in violation of WS 14-3-426, c.
14-3-426.� Initial appearance; adjudicatory hearing; entry of decree and disposition; evidentiary matters; continuance of disposition hearing.
(c)� If after an adjudicatory hearing or a valid admission or confession the court or jury finds that a child is neglected, it shall enter a decree to that effect stating the jurisdictional facts upon which the decree is based. It may then proceed immediately or at a postponed hearing within sixty (60) days to make proper disposition of the child. {{NOTE: Failed to issue a copy of this order to Lydia.}}

Failed to hold accountable failure to produce/file reports/orders in a timely fashion as per WS 14-3-427, b. (order not issued for MDT team until Oct 2, 2008). Failed to hold accountable failure to include ALL parties in the MDT team as per WS 14-3-427, c, ii, iv, vii.
14-3-427.� Predisposition studies and reports
(b)� Within ten (10) days after a petition is filed alleging a child is neglected, the court shall appoint a multidisciplinary team.� Upon motion by a party, the court may add or dismiss a member of the multidisciplinary team.
(c)� The multidisciplinary team shall include the following:
(i)� The child's parent, parents or guardian;
(ii)� A representative of the school district who has direct knowledge of the child {{NOTE: This was NOT done, there was NOT a school rep on the MDT Team.}} and, if the child receives special education, is a member of the child's individualized education plan team;
(iii)� A representative of the department of family services;
(iv)� The child's psychiatrist, psychologist or mental health professional; {{NOTE: Dr.Naginey was NEVER present at MDT meetings, only sent letters.}}
(v)� The district attorney or his designee;
(vi)� The child's attorney or guardian ad litem, if one is appointed by the court;
(vii)� The volunteer lay advocate, if one is appointed by the court; and {{NOTE: This was not done and not sure what one is.}}
(viii)� The foster parent.

Failed to hold accountable individuals for failure to act according to 14-3-427, f.(f)� In formulating recommendations, the multidisciplinary team shall give consideration to the best interest of the child, the best interest of the family, the most appropriate and least restrictive case planning options available as well as costs of care. {{NOTE: Actions NOT in best interest of Family and at NO TIME were they the LEAST restrictive.}}

Failed to hold accountable individuals for failure to ensure ALL parties present/accounted for at MDT as per WS 14-3-427, j.
(j)� Any member of a multidisciplinary team who cannot attend team meetings in person or by telephone may submit written reports and recommendations to the other team members and to the court. {{NOTE: Since Britt never attended MDT meeting, why was she not phoned in or asked to write letter in order to be able to be involved in recommendations.}} � Individuals who are not members of the multidisciplinary team but have knowledge pertinent to the team's decisions may be asked to provide information to the multidisciplinary team. The individuals shall be bound by the confidentiality provisions of subsection (g) of this section.

Failed to hold accountable individuals for failure to hold timely MDT meetings as per WS 14-3-427, m. Including failure to provide report copies to mother and court.

(m)� If the child is placed outside the home, the multidisciplinary team shall meet quarterly to review the child's and the family's progress toward meeting the goals or expectations in the case plan and the multidisciplinary team shall provide a written report with recommendations to the court prior to each review hearing. {{NOTE: This has NOT happened in the appointed time frame.}}

Failure to hold accountable and order MDT report be filed and copy supplied to mother prior to January 23, 2009 disposition hearing or any review hearing (which non have been scheduled) as per WS 14-3-427, n, o.
(n)� No later than five (5) business days prior to the dispositional hearing, the multidisciplinary team shall file with the court the multidisciplinary team report which shall include the multidisciplinary team's recommendations and the department case plan in a standard format established by the department. {NOTE: This was not done}}
(o)� Five (5) business days prior to each review hearing, the multidisciplinary team shall file with the court a report updating the multidisciplinary team report, the multidisciplinary team's recommendations and the department case plan. {{NOTE: This was NOT done.}}

Failure to abide by WS 14-3-429, a, i (adjudication was held PRIOR to predisposition report which contained missing/incomplete information).

14-3-429.� Decree where child adjudged neglected; dispositions; terms and conditions; legal custody.
(a)� In determining the disposition to be made under this act in regard to any child:
(i)� The court shall review the predisposition report, the recommendations, if any, of the multidisciplinary team, the case plan and other reports or evaluations ordered by the court and indicate on the record what materials were considered in reaching the disposition; {{NOTE: This was NOT done. The adjudication was held PRIOR to predisposition & all information was NOT obtained & placed in predisposition report.}}

Failure to hold individuals accountable for failure to make reasonable efforts to preserve the family as required in WS 14-3-429, iv.
14-3-429.� Decree where child adjudged neglected; dispositions; terms and conditions; legal custody.
(a)� In determining the disposition to be made under this act in regard to any child:
(iv)� When a child is adjudged to be neglected the court shall ensure that reasonable efforts were made by the department of family services to prevent or eliminate the need for removal of the child from the child's home or to make it possible for the child to return to the child's home. {{NOTE: Failed to enforce this with DFS, encouraged DFS violation of court order by failure to hold accountable and in contempt. In addition asking for proof of reasonable efforts attempted.}} Before placing a child outside of the home, the court shall find by clear and convincing evidence that to return the child to the child's home would not be in the best interest of the child despite efforts that have been made; {{NOTE: This was never done PRIOR to Britt removal from home and not done after her removal from home.}}

Failed to preserve/protect the family by allowing Brittney grandmother to have temporary custody and/or return her to Florida (away from Mr. Mangano) as is allowed per WS 14-3-429, b, iii.
14-3-429.� Decree where child adjudged neglected; dispositions; terms and conditions; legal custody.
(b)� If the child is found to be neglected the court may:
(iii)� Transfer temporary legal custody to a relative or other suitable adult the court finds qualified to receive and care for the child, with or without supervision, subject to terms and conditions prescribed by the court; {{NOTE: Refused to allow temporary custody to be given to Grandmother. }}

Failed to ensure that religious information and/or consideration when Brittney removed from the home and during the entire civil case process including MDT meetings and recommendations protecting the family’s religious preferences in violation of WS 14-3-429, g.
14-3-429.� Decree where child adjudged neglected; dispositions; terms and conditions; legal custody
(g)� In placing a child in the custody of an individual or a private agency or institution, the court shall give primary consideration to the needs and welfare of the child. Where a choice of equivalent services exists, the court shall, whenever practicable, select a person or an agency or institution governed by persons of the same religion as that of the parents of the child. In case of a difference in the religious faith of the parents, then the court shall select the person, agency or institution governed by persons of the religious faith of the child, or if the religious faith of the child is not ascertainable, then of the faith of either parent.

Failure to conduct timely hearings as required per WS 14-3-431, b. Britt will be 18 in October, 13, 2009. Six months prior would be April 13, 2009.
14-3-431.� Duration of orders of disposition; termination of orders; permanency hearings; petition for termination of parental rights.
(b)� Unless sooner terminated by court order, all orders issued under this act shall terminate with respect to a child adjudicated neglected, when he reaches eighteen (18) years of age unless the court has ordered care or services to continue beyond that time. The court shall conduct a review hearing at least six (6) months before the child reaches eighteen (18) years of age to determine whether care or transitional services should continue and for what period of time prior to the individual reaching the age of twenty-one (21) years. {{NOTE: This has NOT happened.}}

Failure to conduct timely hearings as required per WS 14-3-431, c, ii, iv, v, vi, vii.
Removed July 25, 2008 – 6 mos = January 25, 2009, 6 mos = July 25, 2009.

c)� The court shall conduct a review hearing six (6) months from the date of the child's removal from the home and every six (6) months thereafter. {{NOTE: To date NO review hearings have been held or are scheduled.}} At the six (6) month review hearing the court shall review the case plan to determine:

(ii)� The continuing necessity for the placement; {{NOTE: There has never been the need for placement and since criminal trial was not guilty, there is no need for continued placement.}}

(iv)� The reasonableness of efforts made to reunify the family and the consistency of those efforts with the case plan; {{NOTE: There has NEVER been efforts to reunify the family.}}

(v)� The appropriateness of the case plan and the extent of compliance with the case plan {{NOTE: Even though Lydia compliant, visits continue to be suspended.}} including the permanent placement of the child;
(vi)� If progress has been made toward alleviating or mitigating the causes necessitating placement outside the home and the extent of that progress; and {{NOTE: Criminal trial by jury finds Mr. Mangano not guilty.}}
(vii)� The date the child is expected to be returned to the home {{NOTE: There has NEVER been a date for this}} or placed for adoption or legal guardianship.

Failure to conduct timely hearings as required per WS 14-3-431, d.
14-3-431.� Duration of orders of disposition; termination of orders; permanency hearings; petition for termination of parental rights.
(d)� The court shall conduct a permanency hearing no later than twelve (12) months from the date of the child's removal from the home {{NOTE: As of this date, this is not even scheduled.}} and not less than once every twelve (12) months thereafter if the child remains in out-of-home placement or more frequently as deemed necessary by the court.

Frustrated and Feeling Alone

2009-06-20T23:14:00.003-04:00

My original intention for this blog was not really to be a venting place but more of a place to provide and get information to not only help myself but to hopefully help others. However I find myself tonight needing desperately to vent with no where else and no other way to do it.

I have to ask this question because I got to wondering, surely I can't be the only one who feels this way. I find myself at a place tonight wondering, when is it going to be my turn? My turn to be pissed off and snap at everyone? My turn to be supported and feel supported in what I want to do? My turn to NOT have to worry where the next dollar is coming from? My turn to not feel like I am being judged by those that are closest to me and my supposed friends?

I ask this because tonight I am having great difficulty in trying to hold my anger/temper. In my house (especially this last year), I am the one that plays peace maker and I am the one who does not snap at others regardless of the stress I am under or what I am going through. I am so beyond irritated and frustrated because I want to explode and yet I feel like I can't because if I do I feel like it will spark world war 3. And of course because of this I tend to walk off and sit by the pool here at the hotel where we are staying and have "pretend arguments" with myself in my head.

Because of that, it turned into, where is my support for all that I have been through and lost this last year? I have bent over backwards in support of my fiance Joe and yet I don't feel any support for the fact that I have lost both my mother and my daughter over this. I don't feel any support over what I have lost in our relationship. I feel like I am the only one who is attempting in any way to work on it. I feel like how much more am I supposed to lose? In alot of respects I feel like I don't have anything else to lose. I mean, I have lost my mom and my daughter, I have lost treasured family pets, I have lost my friend and my lover, and I feel as though I have lost what I thought was a very good friend. So how much more am I supposed to lose? Of course none of that includes any of the moentary stuff that at some point can eventually be replaced. But seriously, how much more am I supposed to lose? How much more am I supposed to take?

While in some respects the "pretend arguments" in my head are somewhat productive, I mean I eventually end up walking myself through things and calming myself down. But tonight, I am having trouble doing that. It is everything I can do right now to keep from just bursting into tears and screaming at the top of my lungs, I'm done and I can't take anymore!!!!!!

Admitedly, not having a job to occupy my mind isn't helping. Staying confined in this room all day is driving me batty, but truthfully, I not only do not have the energy to go outside but I feel like everyone is judging me. I am affraid to talk about my "children" because right now I only have one child (well 19 year old). But then I feel like in some way I am betraying my other daughter by no longer acknowledging her as one of my children. I never really know what to say. I mean I don't really want to drag out the entire sortid details of the last year to everyone but honestly how do I talk about a child I no longer have?

I am truly at a point right now of where I feel like why am I even here? Don't worry, I am not the suicidal type, but it is an honest question, why am I here?? I am not happy, I have lost a child, I have lost my friend and lover, I have lost my mother, I don't have a job - so what the hell??!!

I am so tired in alot of ways. Tired of trying to stay positive. Tired of playing peacemaker. Tired of not working. Tired of having no money. Tired of looking at other people with their children having fun and having my heart breaking in the process. Tired of feeling unappreciated and unloved. Get it - I'm tired...lol.

Surely I can not be the only one who feels this way or has felt this way at some point in their own struggle with the system. Please share your thoughts because I could truly use some help right now. Not sure what else I can do or if there is even anything I can do:(

Time Away & HUGE Project.

2009-06-12T19:23:00.005-04:00

Sorry I have been away for a little bit but I have actually been working on a project that has turned out to be a bigger project than I thought...lol.

I have been spending this last week or so going through the Wyoming State statutes one by one and making a spreadsheet applying each statute to a person and how they violated that statute.

With 8 people, you can imagine how big this has become...lol. Admittedly, sometimes 1 statute has been violated by more than 1 person, so there is ALOT of copying and pasting going on.

Eight people and I am barely half way through the statutes and I am at 22 page length word document.

After I finally get done with the statutes, I have to turn around and do the same thing with the DFS Policies and Procedures.

The reason I am doing this (and once I am done I WILL be posting it on here so that you can get an idea of how to do it for your particular situation)is to get all of my information organized into a central location so that I can begin my letter writting campaign.

I will be writting to the Governor and State Attorney General first. To immediately be followed up by the major news networks (ABC, CBS, MSNBC, etc). But I don't want to have to "research" every single time I write a letter.

I would like to ask you all a question. Has anyone contacted the Southern Poverty Law Center? I was curious to know what if anything came out of the contact. I REALLY wish I could attend the rally in Washington in July. Even if I got a job tomorrow, there is no way I could afford to go :(

Well I will keep you all posted and I will move on this spreadsheet as quickly as I can but holy cow - they did so much crap wrong I am beginning to wonder if I will ever finish....lol

The Strain on the Significant Other/Spouse Relationship

2009-05-25T01:01:00.006-04:00

It suddenly struck me tonight, while I was soaking in a hot bath, trying to forget the stresses of the day for five minutes, that in all of my ramblings and thought explorations here, I have never talked about the significant other/spouse relationship.

Believe it or not, in all of the research I have done and all of the stories I’ve read and heard, the only thing I have ever seen/heard said is “It’s been tough on our relationship” or “It’s been difficult for us” or “It’s been very stressful”. But what does that mean? What are the words being said? What are the emotions being felt?

So because of this epiphany tonight, I decided to explore this very subject. As always, it is simply my personal experience. It is not fact for everyone. I want to apologise now for the length of this particular posting, it kindof got away from me.

To be true to every thought and emotion, let’s go all the way back to the beginning, all the way back to June, 2008. I say June for me because that is when my emotional roller coaster begins. Well, truthfully it actually beings in April. This is the month that as a family, we have decided we will leave the home we have resided in for 2 ½ years and go to Wyoming. This will be done in stages. Joe will be the first to go. He leaves this month. For the first time in 4 years, our family will not be under one roof.

Trying to manage two households (temporarily), a senior about to graduate from high school, finally, a junior finding her own on the swim team, a new puppy at home, my fiancé 2000 miles away and a home to pack. The emotional rollercoaster begins its uphill climb.

The spousal relationship; fights over money (no one warns you how truly expensive senior year of high school can be…lol), nagging over how much packing is done and exactly when the family will be together again. The hectic social calendar of the girls, trying to spend every last possible moment with their friends. Further uphill we climb.

Along comes May. More money for the high school, more fights over how expensive everything is getting. Looking back now, we know the economy was crashing. In the middle of the night, my phone rings. It’s the wife of Joe’s best friend. She says something I can’t quite make out, I ask her to repeat it. “Randall (Joe’s best friend) passed away tonight. He got into a wreck on his motorcycle, he hit a tree.” I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I was literally stunned silent and in shock. I was finally able to mumble “oh my God, Jan, I am so sorry!” Then I burst into tears. How in the hell was I going to tell Joe his best friend is dead? He is 2000 miles away, surrounded by strangers and all alone. My heart was breaking. Until this time, this would be the hardest thing I had ever had to do in my life. I tried to compose myself. My hands shaking. My stomach in knots.

I manage somehow to dial the phone. Naturally Joe was asleep because he had a very early “on the job” time the next morning. He answers the phone and I loose my voice. He says hello a couple of times before I can finally spit out “Honey, I need you to sit up and wake up.” He immediately asks “What’s wrong?” I shakily respond “The girls and I are fine but….” It was like I couldn’t speak anymore. My mouth was open but nothing was coming out. I took two deep breaths and ever so slowly stumble out “Honey, Randall was in an accident. He didn’t survive. Honey, Randall’s gone.” I once again lost it. I just couldn’t contain myself. In between my gasps for air, I couldn’t help but notice the deafening silence on the other end of the phone. “Joe”, no answer, “Honey”. “Yeah….I’m here.” I breathe a slight sigh of relief and respond “I am so sorry.” Our rollercoaster has taken its first dive.

Work and financial issues make it impossible for Joe to return to Florida for Randall’s funeral. I get so depressed with Joe being gone, no money to bring him home, worried about Joe and how he is handling the situation and reeling from Randall’s death myself that I couldn’t get out of bed for several days. Letting my family down and not even making it to Randall’s funeral myself, which only made me feel worse. I mean regardless of our relationship with Randall and his family, common friendship courtesy required that I be there. I just couldn’t bring myself to go without Joe and maybe a little selfishly more worried than anything about him.

June rolls in and this will be an extremely busy month. Right off the bat, Brianna is graduating. Joe and Brianna talked before he left and agreed that while it is important for her to be graduating, if the situation arose and he could only make 1 event, did she prefer graduation or boot camp graduation…they both agreed Boot Camp Graduation. Once again, if we had known, we would have moved heaven and earth for him to be at this graduation. The Friday after graduation is the customary (at least at our house) combination graduation/good bye party. Brianna walked for graduation on June 4th and June 10th she left for Boot Camp. Now that was a tuff day. Knowing that we were moving also had a huge impact. My daughters had a lot of mutual friends, so of course some of the kids there were friends of Brittney’s as well. So a lot of tears and walks down memory lane and a lot of fun. After the party, the real serious packing begins and getting affairs in order. At Brianna’s send off to Boot Camp (well ok I know I keep saying Boot Camp I am fully aware it is actually Basic Training. I have been corrected so many times…lol) So many tears were shed by me, by her friends and more by me…lol. My oldest “baby” is gone. No contact whatsoever for the next 9 weeks. It seems like an eternity. I have never been separated from either of my girls for more than 24 hours until this moment. Brianna and I have always been closer than Brittney and I. While devastated by Brianna leaving and Joe being in Wyoming, I was looking forward to being able to spend some “quality time” with Brittney. I mean to a certain extent for the first time in her life, she will kindof be an only child and the time will truly be what she always makes sure happens “all about her”. Unfortunately, as the days pass and the time to leave draws closer, it becomes less about being with me and even more than usual about being with her friends.

July brings heat, humidity and lots more packing and the time to say goodbye to our Florida home is rapidly approaching. I spend the 4th of July alone. Joe is in Wyoming, Brianna is at Basic Training and Brittney is at a 4th of July party at a friends house. It’s just me and our other babies, Max, Chanel and our newest baby, Bear (Max is a Shepard/Chow mix about 11-12 years old at this point Joe has had him since he was a puppy, Chanel is a Shepard/Husky mix and approximately 2 years old at this point and Bear is approximately 4-5 months old at this point and we are still not 100% sure what he was. He had lab markings but again we weren’t and aren’t sure). Max always hated the 4th, the elaborate and numerous fireworks displays that our neighbors would set off (they would get the “good” ones that ssshhhhh your not supposed to have, the rocket launcher kind…lol). Chanel never knew what to make of all the noise, she would just go to the windows and watch in her “ready alert” stance. This was Bear’s first and he seemed to do really well. The only one that would go outside to “go potty” was Chanel. I packed a little, wrote a letter to Brianna, called Joe and sat outside for a little while to man the house for hot embers from the fireworks of our immediately to the right side of us neighbors. It was a very lonely holiday for me. I already had in mind the plan to leave for Wyoming, I just didn’t tell Joe. My plan was to surprise him, to keep secret when we would be there. I hold 2 garage sales to get rid of some stuff in addition to full throttle packing. The closer to leave time the more time Brittney spends with her friends. There’s a party over here, can we go to the beach, it’s so and so’s birthday can I go. So much for the quality time, if I even hesitated like I might be thinking of saying no she would start with the attitude. Honestly I had enough going on that I just didn’t want to deal with it. This is my first mistake. Looking back I can see the warning signs that a storm was brewing but I simply dismissed it. I never should have done that.

As the end of July draws closer, Joe is getting impatient and pissy because I won’t tell him when we are leaving. Every time he asks I come up with some crock story of I still have packing to do or there is some event that I have already told Brittney she can go to or whatever. About a week before we leave, Brittney wanted to go somewhere for something (it honestly escapes me now…lol) and I finally had it and said you know what, you have been running all over town the last few weeks and have spent no time here at home, your room isn’t packed and there are things to be done here, no you can’t go. A little arguing back and forth that escalated to me basically blowing my stack telling her to go to her room she was grounded for the next week meaning no phone, no computer and no TV. Well you would have thought I had cut off all of her limbs. She was screaming and crying and yelling and I can’t remember any of what she said other than something to the effect of she hated me (big surprise) and she was NOT going to Wyoming. I picked up the phone and called Joe (because all the cell phones were in his name at the time) and said “I want you to call Nextel and turn off Brittney’s fucking phone NOW!” (My apologies for the language, but that is exactly what I said and exactly how pissed I was at that point). I explained the situation, he wanted to talk to her first, I said ok, we hung up and he called her. Big mistake, we alllllll know by now after 4 years, there are 2 things you do NOT do. #1 – Talk to Joe when he is pissed. #2 – Talk to Brittney when she is pissed. He calls her cell phone and they commence to talking and somewhere along the line it went south because Brittney proceeded to tell Joe he was a “piece of shit” and “we were a lot better off before you came along” and “we don’t need you”. Needless to say, the fact I demanded the phone be turned off became a mute point because now Joe was so livid I am pretty sure I smelled smoke through the phone….lol. He proceeded to call me and tell me all of this in addition to the fact he WILL be taking care of Nextel permanently (which I just knew that meant until I said turn it back on….lol) but it was now his decree. A week goes by, the packing is predominantly done with the exception of minor things. I allow her cell phone to be turned back on, Joe thinks it’s a bad idea (which will come back to bite us but) I pursued him to turn it back on. So the day comes for me, Brittney, Max and Chanel to hit the road with a few items in the trunk (mostly Brittney’s stuff) of my Dodge Stratus and drugs (supposedly to make her sleepy and not throw up) for Chanel because she gets car sick and the plan to surprise Joe. The trick here is never knowing when he will call. I made sure his co-worker knew I was coming and checked in with him so he always knew where we were. One time Joe called while we were on the road and I think we were in Tennessee and I told him Brittney and I were “driving home from the mall”. Another time he called, I told him I was driving home from picking Brittney up from the movies. The funny part is that naturally all of this was pissing him off. He kept telling me “how long are ya’ll gonna stay there and party while I’m up here working my ass off all alone?” I would be like “I don’t know, a couple of weeks or so”.

So during the ride out, Brittney and I seemed to be having a good time. She doing as she always does, making fun of the music I choose on the radio, proclaiming how much she hates country music, texting on her phone, being sure to keep everyone apprised of our present location via Facebook. We talked (not about anything important) and laughed and we both fussed over the dogs and worrying about how they were handling the trip. We left out on a Sunday night and finally arrived in Casper on Tuesday morning. Having to stop so often for the dogs is what really killed our travel time. That drug that we gave Chanel to keep her from getting sick surely didn’t make her sleep. She was loopy but she was awake the entire trip and Max was just as bad only his thing was, he loves car rides, so he was afraid he was going to miss something. He literally passed out when we finally got to our house in Casper. The closer we got the more it seemed Brittney teetered on the fence between I gotta get outta this car and Are we there yet. Seeing the cows and horses seemed to amuse her for brief periods but mostly it was a lot of comments of “There isn’t anything out here, it’s bare!!” While this was a true statement, she didn’t seem to have the open mind that I had about the move. But anyway, we finally arrive Tuesday morning, Joe still having absolutely no idea. I get to the shop where his pump is parked and he was out washing it behind the building. I parked in front of the building and walked around to the back. I peeked around the corner and then slowly started to walk up behind him. He turned around before I could get all the way to him……complete and total shock came over his face. He dropped the water hose and started towards me and I ran towards him laughing and smiling. I don’t think I have ever been squeezed so hard in my life. We just stood there in each others arms. He was literally shaking. He kept asking, when did you leave? Where were you when I called at this time? Little Mike knew you were coming? I can’t believe your finally here.

Now I will condense the next few months because so many of the emotions are the same. Late July when the initial accusation is made, for me was shock that Brittney would go outside the family and fear for Joe and about him. I was scared for him because I knew that he would be persecuted from the start due to the allegation. I was scared for him because I knew his name would be dragged through the mud. I was scared for us all because I was in Florida and Joe and Britt were in Wyoming and I knew we didn’t have the money for a decent attorney.
August comes, Joe is arrested, I am furious because I see this whole thing becoming a bigger and bigger crock. These people have my daughter, I barely get to see her, Joe is in jail and I can’t get him out, I fear for his safety both from himself and others, I can’t get anyone to listen to me and I already see these people not doing their jobs. No one is investigating, no DNA tests have been run and no one has even bothered to talk to my oldest daughter. I am scared because I have to leave the stat and fly across the country to see my oldest graduate from Basic Training. A time when I should be elated because I finally get to see her and hug her and be brimming with pride, I am not able to fully enjoy the experience due to the catastrophe back in Wyoming. It has now I been several weeks without seeing Britt. I am worried about her safety in the chaotic foster home they have her in. Joe has now lost his job and we have been kicked out into the streets. I am furious. The one hour a week I get to visit him I am torn between worry and frustration. I do my best to control my tears during the visit but I always fail at that. He slightly snaps at me because he feels as though I am not doing enough to try to get him out. I snap at him because I feel he should be more concerned and pissed that I have been kicked out on the street.

September comes, I am trying to maintain a job to be able to pay for the motel we are staying in. I continue to worry about Joe and additionally worry about Brianna being at her new duty station for AIT and worry about Brittney that I still have not seen. Dealing with court appearances and fighting the system that was screwing me at every turn even though I was not being investigated or charged. Joe and I continue to bicker slightly while he is still in jail. Frustrated at the fact that I am unable to get him out any sooner. Finally his father is able to come up with the money from his retirement to be able to get Joe out. Three of us being confined in a small motel room. Joe and I trying to reconnect after being apart for almost 2 full months. Dealing with him having nightmares from being in jail and just basically trying to communicate in the way we always had. It was a strained situation he and I coming back together under this strain. I mean it was awkward being together. It was like we wanted to be “together” or intimate but it was also like we didn’t. It was almost like a first date or his first night home after a six month cruise. We did have some adjustments to make. We had to find a way to come together. I mean as a woman, you know how we are, 15 million things running through our heads at all times. Even just laying there in his arms, all I could think about is the questions asked by the so called investigator, the charges, playing out different scenarios in my head of “why didn’t Brittney do it this way” or “why didn’t she do it that way”. My over analytical mind has always been my worst enemy. Don’t get me wrong, I have never doubted the fact that I know Joe didn’t do anything and that this was a completely fabricated stunt by Brittney, I KNOW him and I KNOW her, but I actually discovered during this whole crappy situation that, your mind is VERY good at playing devils advocate even when you are not deliberately trying to think of things in that way.

October comes and at least he has a job so it keeps his mind occupied. I am working and so is he so we are able to at least meet the expenses of the motel and are able to eat. The adjudication hearing was the very end of last month so we are still reeling from the fact that somehow in some alternate universe the Judge adjudicated Joe saying that he was essentially guilty even though the only evidence presented was Brittney’s videotaped statement, she didn’t testify and no other evidence was presented. Understandably Joe is livid, his anger over this has become an almost every day norm. I am torn between somehow trying to fight for him and fight for my daughter at the same time. I often feel like I am losing both battles. We are slowly getting to a point of where we communicate less and less. I am furious at the fact that the civil/juvenile case was even allowed to proceed when Joe didn’t even have an attorney, didn’t waive his right to an attorney yet he asked for one and one was not provided. I am furious at the fact I am not being charged or investigated and yet these people can keep my daughter from me. I am furious at the fact that my entire life and family are being destroyed more and more each day and there is nothing I can do about it. Joe and I fight mostly around the times of court hearings from his side because of the charges and from my side because I am losing my daughter.

November comes. As we begin to enter the holiday season which is normally my favorite time of year, I become more and more depressed and frustrated. What few visits I was having with Brittney have now been suspended and Joe has now lost the job he had because they were going to hire him permanently (he was a temp) but they ran a background check and found this charge looming over his head. We fight over money. We are struggling to make ends meet. Brianna has now been effected by this situation, she hit a roadblock with her job training and has now been reclassed and sent to a new post for a new job and training and lost all of her enlistment bonuses because of it. Tensions are very high in the house during this time. Yes, house, we were finally able to rent a house just before Joe lost his job, so now I am trying to support us all. Joe and I talk less and less. Both of us spend most of our time on our respective computers doing research on DFS/CPS cases. Him, mostly on case law and me, mostly on others in my situation. Thanksgiving comes and goes and I must say it was my worst ever. I am not looking forward to Christmas.

December arrives. I continue to work, frustrated each day that I am stuck in this god forsaken hellhole. I find myself each day praying more and more, something I had given up for a while. I figured nothing else was working so maybe a little prayer might. Joe and I continue to fight over money and case strategy. We talk less and less. Funny how two people can be in the same room for hours and literally say nothing. Brianna is able to come home (if you can call it that) for Christmas. Her journey home was not an easy one and put an additional strain on us but emotionally and financially. I was so happy to finally see her all I could do was squeeze her when she stepped off the plane. She was home for two weeks but I couldn’t even make it a nice visit for her because of finances. We had no tree, no decorations and didn’t even have our traditional Christmas dinner. We couldn’t go shopping, we couldn’t go skiing (even though we were only 20 minutes from a ski area), no concert, no movies, no nothing. While I was overjoyed at being able to see her, I felt so guilty over not being able to give her what she was used to. Which of course cause fights between me and Joe. While you try to be careful and not place blame. You can’t help it sometimes, it just seems to come out that way. You look at things differently. You accuse each other of keeping secrets, you blame each other for the current situation, you point out each others shortcomings, at this point you will pretty much argue about anything.

January comes and the trial date approaches. Tensions are running very high. Now there is a new stress. The trial will have to be delayed because the Army does not want to allow Brianna to come home on subpoena (which apparently they CAN do). So we have to file for an emergency continuance. Great, we will be stuck here longer, I mean let’s face it at this point you are still hopeful that this will come out in your favor in the end. The continuance is granted but barely, the new date is for March. So there is more bickering over money and strategy, there is more research on both sides and there is the just trying to survive each day and not let your thoughts get the best of you. Joe is beginning to lose faith in his court appointed attorney. He is researching so much and finding so many things he feels apply to his case that he spends most of his time trying to write his own motions so they are ready to be given to Rob (his CAA). We fight because I don’t always agree with the way he looks at some of these items. I kind of fight for Rob if you will. Money is tighter and tighter as I have lost my job this month. Ironically because I am not little Mary Sunshine everyday, gee I wonder why. We have the disposition hearing and of course my visits remain suspended which frustrates me even more. I am fighting but no one is hearing me. The CAA I finally got is useless, she does nothing for me really, just another federally paid mouthpiece.

February comes and the exchanges between DFS, the court and myself, have pretty much come to a halt. I have not seen Brittney since November which continues to make me sad and frustrated. I have been ordered to see a therapist which on the one hand I am not thrilled about but I try to be optimistic about. Joe continues to drowned himself in legal research while I continue my research and looking for employment. With both of us home all day now, we seem to bicker more and more while at the same time saying less and less to each other. I recall one day this month where we literally spent 8 hours in the same room and never said a word to each other. He is becoming increasingly agitated as the new date for the trial approaches. Brianna has finished her AIT training and is now in Casper with us. I am happy she is here but I am also sad as this is not where she wants to be. She would like to be back in Florida with her friends, but she is here for Joe. I am also sad because I was hoping she would not have to see how bad things have gotten for us both financially and emotionally between me and Joe.

March comes and turns out to be both a happy and yet devastating month. The early weeks bring concern from us all with regards to Max, our last remaining dog. A pet that Joe has had since he was a puppy, going on 12 years now. Max has taken ill, he isn’t eating or drinking, we try everything. After about a week, he then begins to throw up anything we manage to get down his throat. We begin calling around because we know that Max is in very bad shape and there is nothing we can do about it. We can’t afford to take him to a vet even for a check up. We make the family decision to have him put to sleep but we want his ashes because Casper is not Max’s home, Florida is. The next morning after making this family decision, I awake to find Max has passed sometime during the early morning hours. I was not prepared to be the one to have to find our “good puppy” (as was his nickname) no longer with us. I lost it. I awoke Joe and Brianna and we all surrounded Max and just petted him a couple of times and I don’t know about them, but I said a prayer. I had to gather my composure and go to work. I had gotten a job (only part time) the last week of last month. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the day. When I got off from work a few hours later, as a family we took Max to the vet to have him cremated. As a family we were devastated. This was yet another kick in the stomach our lives just didn’t need. While in some respects the strain on our lives was increasing, Joe and I did manage to have one brief moment of intimacy two days before the criminal trial. This was something that had not happened in months, I mean who wants to be intimate when you aren’t speaking and when you are fighting all the time. Who feels loved when you are bickering all the time. For me, I felt more like he was doing this because it was about the fact this might be one of the last times we are able to be “together”. For him, who knows why he instigated it. These last few months our relationship has been strained in a number of ways but the intimacy is probably one of the most profound ways. Admittedly, I asked myself, why is he doing this? During this probably long overdue encounter, I couldn’t help but wonder, what if this is the last time we are together? What will I do if he is convicted?

The trial begins and things start off slowly. The jury is picked, all the legal wranglings are done and then finally opening statements begin late Monday. My stomach in knots all day because I have to try to work while this trial is going on. You would think each night until the verdict we would spend time just being together. Unfortunately that was not the case. Maybe somehow in an alternate universe we knew that he would not be convicted, but for the days leading up to the verdict we simply just went on with our lives the way they had been all these months leading up to this moment. Don’t get me wrong, you could definitely cut the tension with a knife in our house. As the trial began to take shape, Joe became more comfortable with Rob and finally understood what Rob had been saying about how he wanted to handle his case. I have been having a bit of good luck with my therapist. I am comfortable with how she has proven herself though this so far. She has actually been a good thing to come out of this. Jean and Rob, ironically two government paid employees who – wow – actually did their jobs well and did them with integrity. The verdict comes in and Joe is miraculously acquitted, found not guilty on all three charges. Hallelujah!!! A huge rock has been lifted off of our shoulders. Joe, Brianna and I all basically collapse in each others arms right there at the defense table. As we head home all the phone calls get made and the good news is spread.

One would think things would get back to semi-normal between Joe and I but unfortunately this had not been the case. I will condense the last couple of months since the trial. We continue to fight over money due to the strain of the economy and none of us being able to find employment now that we are back in Florida. Since returning we have also found out we lost our home we had here. During this entire situation, Joe has never had anyone that he could talk to in the manner I had Jean. While Joe & I have always had good communication as the strong foundation of our relationship, that foundation has been strained during this. He has gotten to where he keeps to himself a lot. We don’t talk as much or as well as we used to. While he has denied it, I think in some respects he blames me and that sometimes makes it hard for him to be with me in any way. My support of him has never waivered however sometimes I get very frustrated (and have said so) that I don’t really think he grasps what this situation has cost me, emotionally, monetarily, spiritually, in every way possible, I have paid a price. I had a close friend tell me one time when this thing first happened. “There is no good way for you to come out of this.” And he was right. Call me stubborn but I guess the reason why I am still here in this relationship is because I refuse to give up and allow this one last thing to be taken from me. I have lost everything else and this is all I have left. We still fight over money, we fight over how and who we think should be held accountable legally, we fight over how to proceed with our future. I guess I look at it in some respects as, as long we are fighting in some ways that means we are fighting for our relationship. Maybe that’s a warped way to look at it. But in order to fight you have to communicate and as long as you communicate you have a chance. Joe and I have talked about and both know that if we are going to completely make it through this that we will have to bring in a therapist or priest or some type of counselor because we know this is bigger than us, but it is a decision that we know can not proceed until we are more financially stable. However this is something we both agree upon and have both agreed to do. We know our shortcomings and admittedly this is HUGE.

So I guess what I am trying to say with this very long blog today is, you can’t go through something like this without it taking some sort of toll on your relationship with your significant other or spouse. I think you have to be honest with yourself and realistic when going through something as traumatic as this. But you have to be willing to fight and you have to always communicate otherwise you will fail. I haven’t given up the fight for my daughter, I will continue that fight just as I will continue to fight for mine and Joe’s relationship because I refuse to think that one is more important that the other, they are critically equally important. I love them both and I will fight for them both. Yet if I fail on both fronts, that means DFS/CPS wins on both fronts and if that happens, God help this country.

Wondering About Karma

2009-05-22T09:57:00.003-04:00

This isn't my true blog for today, but I couldn't help wondering.

I seem to be having a bit of bad luck the last couple of days. I am not normally a big believer in Karma, I mean I believe in it, I am just not obsessed with it and think everything is because of it.

This week, on Tuesday as a matter of fact, Joe and I were at the post office and an older lady was in a car next to us and it turns out she had a flat tire. Well, one guy came out and attempted to talk to her and ask her if she needed help. She seemed to be a little skiddish and a little reluctant to let this guy help her. He wasn't a bad looking guy, I mean he was clean cut, polite, nothing obvious that should scare her, he just let her know he was in a hurry but that he would try to help her. Well a couple of moments later Joe came out of the post office and I let him know this lady had a flat, so we got out of the truck to help her as well. I got out just so there was another "woman" there because she seemed so skiddish with the other guy alone. So I thought I would be kindof moral support I guess. Well, ironically, when we got done and got back in the truck to leave, I made what I thought was a positive statement. "Well, maybe we have put a little bit of good Karma out there."

Ordinarily I don't make comments out loud about Karma, but it just kinda came out and given the events of the last few months, I thought maybe a little positiveness (if that's even a word) couldn't hurt. Well, I don't know how that affecteed the universe or the Karma Gods or whatever but I can't help but wonder, I think somehow I pissed someone off....lol

It started Wednesday, my payroll check wasn't in the bank. I called to find out about it. Since I am working as a temp, the temp office did get my timesheets but the payroll department said they didn't get it. So my check is going to be late. Great, we are so used to it being there on Wednesday, we are out of money, ok well not out, we did have five dollars. Not to mention we have the hotel room to pay for. I mean I have only been working a day here and a day there but still, every dollar counts right now.

Then last night. I made myself a cup of coffee, sat down and started messing with my cell phone. I went to put it down and knocked over my cup of coffee. Let me rephrase, the coffee poured DIRECTLY on top of my phone. I jumped up, cleaned it off, cleaned up the mess and prayed that my phone wasn't going to die as a result since we don't exactly have the money to be replacing my overused phone.

This morning, I get to work and discover that somehow at somepoint the band on my engagement ring has broken. Snapped right in half. Great. We definately don't have the money to fix that. In addition to that, the temp assignment I am working this week, every day I am supposed to UPS overnight the deposit after I enter it into the computer system. Well, guess what, I forgot to send out yesterdays. UUuuughhh!!!

I mean really. What the hell did I do??? I know in the grand scheme of things all of this may seem very minor but once again when you don't have something to do to occupy your mind little sometimes silly things pop into your head. But I have to ask, is it just me or is this cooincidence or some sort of Karma? Then again, could I just be paranoid?

Mother's Day

2009-05-12T12:51:00.002-04:00

A belated Happy Mother's Day to all those moms out there that are blessed enough to be able to spend this day with their children.

As for those who have had their children ripped from their lives due to disgraceful acts from so-called child protection agencies.......my thoughts and prayers are with you - it is NOT a happy day at all. Just another reminder that our children are not where they should be....with US.

I myself was found in a rather weird position this Mother's Day. While Joe went out of his way to make it a very pleasant day (and did very nicely). My family was not complete. Joe very sweetly and secretly (even though we realllllly don't have the money) went out and purchased a small vase of roses and a ballon that said Happy Mothers Day and tried to "blame" my oldest daughter Brianna for doing it (because I was asleep). He said "I didn't do anything and tell your oldest over there if she ever drives my truck again without permission and without a license I'm gonna kick her butt!" He then later in the day proceeded to purchase a little tabletop throw away grill and cook me dinner (which actually wasn't half bad).

Periodically throughout the day, I received a few text messages from my "adopted" children (from my oldest's ROTC unit that have since graduated and joined various ranks of the military and are now scattered amongst the globe). I even got a phone call from one in Maryland. These all brightened my day along with what Joe and Brianna had done. They were all very sweet and unexpected suprises and made the day a little easier.

Later in the afternoon, a bizarre text came across my phone. All day I couldn't help but let my mind wander, back to Wyoming, back to my youngest daughter Brittney. Wonder what she was doing. Wonder what she was doing special for her "foster mom". My eyes would swell with tears for a moment and then I would just make myself busy again with some mundane task or look at the flowers now in our hotel room. The bizarre text........was from Brittney.

I couldn't help but to just stare at my phone for a few minutes asking myself, is this some cruel joke? Is this really from Britt? Am I reading the name right? Why is she sending me a text message when she hasn't even bothered to acknowledge I even exist these last few months? I finally opened my phone & the message. "Happy Mother's Day. Sorry it's a little lateish but I was working until now." Stunned, shocked, confused, all easily describe my feelings towards this random message. Given the difficult time we have had these last few motnhs I couldn't help but let my mind wander and ask....ok, who put her up to it? what is the reasoning behind this message? what information can be gained for the witches coven (what Brianna refers to as the foster mom, the GAL and DFS caseworker)?

I know I should have been a little happy that she even acknowledge my existence, but I just couldn't help myself. I actually had butterflies in my stomach. I didn't know what to do or even to say.So I simply sent a message back "thank you". I am not suprised at all that I didn't hear another word after that. But still, one can't help but wonder.

Trying to make sense and unable to. I reached out to my "counselor" Jean. We still talk and email even though I am not in Wyoming anymore. She has actually turned out to be a hidden blessing in this entire mess (I know I have said that before but it still bears repeating). So I arranged a time for us to do one of our "phone sessions" lol. We spoke this morning. She said, suprisingly, that my thoughts were completely normal given the events of this last year. She said any normal person would wonder what motivated it. She also said that I did the right thing by not trying to engage in some detailed dialogue just yet.

The last two weeks or so I have been giving thought to Jean's suggestion of writting some type of letter to Britt. Explaining that I am not in Wyoming anymore and why I left and that the door is always open if she wishes to ever talk. I haven't quite been able to put it on paper yet though. I am having a tuff time doing that. I start organizing the thoughts in my head. I get maybe a paragraph put together and then BOOM I just get soooooo angry. Granted not just at her but allllll the anger comes out. Expresing the anger is not what this letter is supposed to be about but yet I just can't help but to go there. It's just too soon to open this door of dialogue between her and I. Maybe someday I can write this letter, just not right now.

Work for me Letter Sample

2009-05-04T14:58:00.000-04:00

Wendy
317
Casper, Wy 82601

Re: Lydia , in the case of BH, JV No.

Dear ;

You have been appointed to represent me as an attorney in the county juvenile court. Be on my side; I need your help. I am fighting for the release of my 17-year-old daughter from state custody. I am not being charged or investigated for any crime. The Court has continued to keep my child from me in lieu of the fact I am not being charged. The investigators have failed to investigate, the caseworker refuses to do any casework, the guardian ad litem is not acting in my daughter’s best interest, and the foster parents are too busy with the numerous other children in their home to give my daughter the care and attention she needs and deserves. All have made assumptions about me that are false and not fact based. My daughter needs to be at home with me, for her well being - mentally, emotionally, and physically.

While you are my attorney, please keep in mind that you are working for me, not for the county that pays you. As my attorney I expect you to give me the best legal representation available. I therefore request face-to-face meetings with you at least once monthly to make sure you are actively working on my case, and not letting it slide between the cracks.

I understand that many court-appointed attorneys tend to simply guide parents through the juvenile court system, advising them to plead guilty to charges or work case plans to make things easier for everyone else in the courtroom. This is not the kind of representation I am requesting. I am asking you to be actively involved in proving my daughter belongs at home with me. This is what is best for her in every sense of the word, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I remind you once again, I am not charged with any crime.

As you know, parents involved in CPS cases have to complete a “service/case plan” yet many do so and still do not get their children returned. I would like to avoid doing any kind of “services” and request that you refuse all services, and/or force the caseworkers to prove the need for any services requested. I do not want to be in the position of many parents in these cases forced to have psychological evaluations when there is no evidence of mental illness, or any kind of parenting classes since my children are both either just below or just above age 18. All of these items would be an additional financial burden to the taxpayers who have already endured the burden of four hearings. Please honor my request, protect my best interests, and see that my time is not wasted by unnecessary court-ordered “services”. Additionally of course they would also be an additional waste of taxpayer money. Do everything you can to resist these services in my case. As you are my attorney I am trusting you to fight these issues individually and fiercely.

I expect you to be 100% aware of what is happening with my case at all times, and to inform me immediately of any changes.

I expect you to obtain and share with me a complete copy of the case file including all case narratives, reports from doctors, law enforcement, CAPS, dentists, psychiatrists, counselors, reports/findings from any and all physical examinations, etc.

I expect you to obtain and share with me a complete copy of all court reporting transcripts from all hearings relating to this matter.

I expect you to obtain and share with me a copy of Wyoming’s “Foster Parent Rules/Guidelines”.

I expect you to obtain and share with me all financial data in regards to this case. The fees the guardian ad litem is receiving, the monthly amounts being issued to the foster parents, all monies being received by the Department of Family Services from the Federal Government for having my daughter in so-called “protective custody”.

I expect you to obtain and share with me any and all information relating to any job my daughter may have, including where and how long and wages.

I expect you to obtain and share with me any and all information relating to a vehicle supposedly purchased for her by the foster parents, including title, registration and insurance information.

I expect you to obtain and share with me any and all information relating to a traffic stop was involved in on December 25, 2008, including reason for the stop, was she driver or passenger and results of the stop and the police report of the stop.

I expect all items to be provided to me forthwith.

I expect you to help me compile substantial evidence to prove my daughter belongs at home with me by a preponderance of the evidence. That her current foster family is incapable of putting her physical, emotional and mental well being above all else due to their very strained resources. Her very safety is at risk.

I expect you to produce legal paperwork including a complete response to all caseworker reports, declarations supporting my side of the case, and other documents as needed, and to present those documents to the Judge .

I expect you to do everything you can to prevent my name from being included on the central index, blacklisting people from working with children. I am innocent and my name should not be included on that list.

Please respond to my requests in writing within 5 days; I will need your written response for my records in this case.

Sincerely,

Found It

2009-05-04T14:51:00.000-04:00

Thank goodness!!!!!
Well, we went to the storage unit yesterday and thank gawd we were able to find the MS Office disc (that saved us $150.00) so we were able to reinstall it onto the laptop. So I once again have access to all the court documents and stuff from the case....wooohooo!!!
So now I will begin posting these documents in the hopes they will be able to help someone else :)

Before I Was A Mom

2009-04-30T20:41:00.001-04:00

Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom, I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom, I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes
to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom .

Yet Another Day and April Timeline

2009-04-30T19:02:00.000-04:00

Well, here I am again. Time for a little more updating and clarifying.

As for updating, we are all still feverishly looking for jobs. I find myself working a temp assignment again this afternoon, which don't get me wrong, I have no problem working temp jobs. I have gotten some of my best jobs starting as a temp. But with things the way they are right now, this 1 day a week temping is killing us. I just wanna have a steady job. We do still have a couple of bills to pay.

Ever since we got back to town, Joe's teeth have really been bothering him. When over the counter remedies quit working, we hit the emergency room. Thinking it was simply infection causing the pain we figured antibiotics would cover it. NOPE!!! After running their course of drugs (antibiotics and pain killers) we had to find a reasonable dentist or dental clinic. Well after a few phone calls, each one kept referring us to the Dental Clinic downtown so we finally called them - $135.00 just to be seen and get an x-ray!! Then if they have to do anything like fillings, extractions, etc. it's more on top of that! WTH?! The name is goodfella not rockafella...lol.

So a couple of more phone calls and we find a reasonable dentist close to where we are staying. Get this - for an exam and x-ray - $68.00 wooohoo!! So we go thinking that maybe the first round of antibiotics just weren't strong enough, we go for round two. The additional good news (sooo sarcastic) the exam reveals this will NOT be a simple extraction, it will have to be a surgical extraction. Can you say CHA-CHING?!nSo we do round two of the drugs to no avail. Now that we know it will be surgical we call the Clinic to find out pricing. Turns out we still have to do the $135.00 visit so THEY can say it's a surgical extraction and they can't give us a price over the phone for the extraction because it "depends". WTH?! Wouldn't even ball park it. With round two of drugs running out and no change in pain, we are getting desperate. Even with the small amount of pain pills, joe has hardly slept this past week and there isn't anything he can eat anymore.

More phone calls, we find a dentist who primarily does dentures but he kinda runs his office like the clinic. Long story short - $200.00, exam, x-ray, extraction and 2 more prescriptions. The only decent thing out of all of this was the fact one of the local grocery stores here gives certain antibiotics for free. So the last 2 rounds of antibiotics were free and the last two rounds of pain pills didn't total $30.00. But now that the tooth is out, the bigger guns came out...lol...$45 for both of today's prescriptions. But hopefully the tooth issue is gone for another year.

My oldest daughter (Brianna, 19 1/2 y.o.) got her tax refund and with that we were able to pay her cell phone bill, the hotel room for another week and get some groceries. Joe's dad has paid another week for us as well. Joe went down to VA Services (cuz he is prior military) and basically got told the same thing that United Way told me a couple of weeks ago: we don't pay for hotel rooms, your not homeless, we don't put gas in your car for you to look for a job, you can't rely on just the internet to look for a job you would be suprised what you will find when you venture out the door. WTH?!

I have to admit, I miss the days when you would apply for a job over the internet and you would get this automated email saying "we got it, we'll review it, we'll call you". You don't even get that anymore. Jaxjobs and craigslist have no automated responses for any job you apply to from their sites. Hotjobs responses are sporatic at best. Monster is really the only one that constantly responds. And because of this new practice heaven forbid you should show initiative and have the nerve to call and follow up because if you are lucky enough to actually speak to a human then they brush you off because they are "busy". WTH?! You are the one that posted the job!!!!

Sorry for my rantings. Maybe it's my patience (or lack thereof) or maybe it's my anger over this last 8 months or so but my gawd, it just seems like the world is going to hell in a hand basket!!! Does no one have any common sense anymore? Does no one think of things logically?? Does no one see the obvious?? I am sooooo over it all and sooo beyond frustrated!!!!

Finally, I was going to sit down and clarify somethings that have you wondering how exactly we got here. The details of the case and it's progression, the timeline, the phone calls, emails, the chain of command, etc. now that the criminal trial is over. Because I think it would be helpful to those who may unfortunately have to travel this same road, ideas where to go and what to do.

But in addition to the tooth issues this week, the wireless internet card decided to die on our laptop. And of course before figuring out that was the problem and before figuring out that we could just switch hotel rooms and hardwire into the internet with an ethernet cord, we completely reinstalled Windows Vista OS and of course now none of the Windows software (Word, Excel, etc) is on there and that now has to be reloaded. But here is the problem with that...ughhh....problem, problem, problem...GGGRRRRR. It's in storage, I hope, somewhere. I have no idea what box or anything. But here is the scarier part. There are still boxes in the house we lost. I have no idea what is in those boxes. Now that the house has been foreclosed on, the bank will eventually put those items into storage (well they are supposed to anyway). so my big fear is that is where the MS Office Home & Student disc is :( So all of my notes on the case that I have saved on the computer are not being recognized right now.

So this project will have to wait a few more days. But rest assured, I will begin putting up information and resources because that really was the intent of this blog in the first place....to help people.

APRIL TIMELINE

4/3/09 Friday 2:30p
Lydia, Joe, Brianna and Reba all leave for Florida.

4/5/09 Sunday
All arrive in Florida & check into La Quinta hotel.
5:21p Lydia email to Jean to let know arrived safely.

4/7/09 Tuesday 3:03p
Lydia email to Jean updating status.

4/8/09 Wednesday
Reba moves out of La Quinta and into a “room for rent”

4/10/09 Friday
Lydia email to Jean updating status.

4/13/09 Monday
Lydia email to Jean updating status.

4/17/09 Friday
Lydia email to Jean updating status.

4/27/09 Monday
Lydia and Jean have telephone “session”

Tuffer Times Still

2009-04-20T20:22:00.000-04:00

Well, we have been back in Florida for 3 weeks now and things have not gone as well as we would have hoped.

We have returned to find that we definitely lost our home in all this mess. The bank officially foreclosed on it back in December. Which in and of itself is frustrating, but when you sit back and wonder, why no one contacted us, it was pretty easy to find us, not to mention we had listed the home with a realtor to sell it and she was working with the bank to sell it but she never even said anything that they said anything to her. So I ask, WTF????

We have heard from distant (mileage wise) family members that the collection agencies are looking for the cars, so keeping them hidden is a priority right now just so we have transportation for job hunting.

Ahh, job hunting. That has been depressing. I have registered with 4 temporary staffing companies. I have gone on http://www.jaxjobs.com/ and applied for at least 5 positions. I have been to http://www.monster.com/ and submitted at least 5 applications. I have been to http://www.employflorida.com/ and submitted applications. Then that doesn't even count company direct applications to Sears, Kmart, Walmart, Target, etc. To say the job hunt is discouraging would be an understatement. Now mind you, these are only my attempts. There is my oldest daughter and my fiance trying to. I don't have the time to sit and monitor everyone they apply to, with the exception of I know they both also applied to Kmart, Sears and Target.

The only work I have been able to do is work for 1 staffing company. I have done 2 1 day assignments. I have 2 more 1 day assignments scheduled for the end of this week and next week. Which pretty much equates to food money and that's about it...lol.

We have been staying in a hotel since we got back into town. We checked in April 5th. This past Friday, my fiance was able to get the money from his father to pay for another week here. I went to our storage unit here today and fished out 1 of our containers full of DVDs and have an appointment with someone tomorrow to sell them to try to obtain some money to pay for a few more days here.

The funny part about that is. I contacted the United Way (as they coordinate all the social services in the area) and since we are staying in a hotel (not renting an apartment, paying a mortgage or living in our cars) they will not help pay for ANY of our hotel. They also will not provide any money for gas for the cars to go job hunting. As for the job hunting, I was told "You would be amazed what you will find by just driving down the street and look for "we are hiring" signs". OK, this may be true, but what do you do if you don't have any money to pay for the gas to "go drive down the street"? Our system of "help" stays true to its form. I mean those who truly need the help, who aren't asking for the moon and are willing to work for it can't get the help they need.

In addition to my mad job hunting this last week, I have been doing alot of thinking, there's a surprise. Given all that I have been through this last 7-9 months, I want to get involved so to speak. I want to help in some way others that may be going through what I have been through. I am having a problem with figuring out the best way of doing it though. I am sure no matter which route I take I will probably need to go back to school. But before I can do that I need to figure out the path.

I have thought about training to be a paralegal and going to work in a family law type firm. I have thought about starting a non-profit to somehow connect parents with attorneys that would handle fighting DFS/CPS type cases in addition to counseling, etc. I have also thought about lobbying. I mean changes in all of these systems is so desperately needed and so many parents not just me have been burned by the systems that are supposed to be in place to "protect" the family as a whole.

I just don't have any idea which is the best route to go. I know the non-profit and lobbying are probably things that I can not do on my own. I mean those are monumental tasks. But truth be told this is a monumental problem!!! I have all of these ideas running around in my head and I just have no idea what direction to go in. I guess in some respects I have already begun to lay a little ground work in the non-profit/lobby arena. I have already communicated with Wyoming Senators and Representatives and awaiting to hear from the Governor (thanks to a congresswoman). Would that be the easiest route??? But that also seems like the biggest route. I dunno.

I mean obviously finding a job and more suitable place to live are of the highest priority now but once I have done that I need to be ready to move on what to do next. That is what I am having trouble with. I dunno, maybe some inspiration will come to me. Maybe I am thinking too big. I mean you can't fight city hall (especially overnight...lol). But I still have this overwhelming need to do something. I have said it before and I say it again. This isn't just about me!!! Will I benefit, yes, but more importantly thousands and possibly millions will benefit more. And if true changes can come about, then millions will be spared the pain that our family has endured.

Being back here has not meant that I have forgotten about my other daughter. I still think about her and worry about her. The latest information I have is that her foster family isn't even waiting for her to turn 18, they are trying to shove her out the door this summer. They have her touring and applying to a college out of the state of Wyoming. She has been accepted to that college (best I can tell). Her prom was this past weekend, another event I was cut out of. Her GAL actually told her (and I have the proof) that the "law says every child is entitled to at least one parent, but it doesn't say that parent has to be a good one." WTF?!?!?! Where the hell does she get off calling me a bad parent. She doesn't know me, she doesn't know my family!!!! Her graduation from high school is next month and that will be another major milestone I will have missed thanks to these people. i am so terrified for her being thrown out into the world with no one to lean on, no one to help her. In a new state all alone and not even 18 yet. Am I the only one that sees a problem with that???

Well, I guess I have taken up enough space for tonight. I will continue to keep you posted on things as they happen.

The Return Home

2009-04-14T15:35:00.000-04:00

I have to admit one thing, these last couple of weeks I have actually been glad that I have a counselor to see and talk to, otherwise I think I would have completely disolved from the inside out from the amount of acid churning in my stomach leading up to the criminal trial. She was definately a life saver as far as keeping me sane.

Well, since the criminal case is finally over, we couldn't help but want to get the hell outta dodge. I mean, not like we feel safe in this frozen hellhole. In the couple of weeks prior to the criminal trial, I managed to finally go back to work after being unemployed for a month (like that in itself won't make ya stir crazy), unfortunately it was only part time and ironically it was in an attorney's office...lol. Not the kind that would do me any good, but it gave me a laugh just the same. He was actually really nice and it gave me something to focus on again besides being alone with my thoughts stressing the trial and money.

Since, my oldest came back home from the Army Reserves (her training was over), she managed to find a part time job at Wal-Mart. So her and I both working part time, Joe not being able to work since back in November an influx of some cash into our struggling household is much needed and a change of scenery is much deserved. So the moving discussion was held once again.

So what is left of the family agreed to move back to Florida in an attempt to salvage what is left of our home and life. So with a little money given to us by Joe's dad (his family has wanted him outta here since an hour after the verdict came in), we packed up, loaded up and hit the road. Not one of our easiest trips, I mean the stress was enough that it could have flattened road kill even thinner.

Since being in Wyoming, we had no idea of the official status of our home in Florida, we were getting some conflicting information from the internet and no communication from our realtor. I finally had a valid drivers license for the first time in 7 yrs but for the first time in his life Joe didn't. No insurance on our cars (thats why Joe doesn't have a license...some retarded Florida law), in fact the repo men looking for the cars. The possibility of my car not making it (I knew it would but Joe was convinced it wouldn't....HA!) I mean the odds were definately stacked against us all around. But they were even worse in Wyoming (so we felt anyway).

Even knowing all of this, there was just a certain level of comfort that came with crossing the state line. So much so, I spent the entire first day here in bed throwing up. The release of stress and nerves just overwhelming. So we get here, and little by little the blows come. We find out that we no longer own our home, the bank does. A friend of mine finally sold his home. So no where to stay. Well, here is familiar turf, a hotel. No biggie, we can andle that. We get to the storage unit (that we have maintained all along here) and unload the veicles. Well those things are safe now.

A positive note is that we get free internet at the hotel and breakfast too (but we don't get up early enough for that to be a benefit...lol). Well, we meet with a bankruptcy attorney to see if there is anyway of salvaging anything. That's how we get the official word we don't own the house anymore. As for the cars, they are salvagable if we file a chapter 13. So then the argument becomes do we try to save my car? And then where the hell do we come up with the money for an attorney?? Hhmm we have been in this spot before. Well, both arguments are back burner for now, we have bigger fish to fry......employment.

Well, we have been here since April 5th and so far, I have registered w ith 4 staffing companies, submitted my resume for 7 jobs I found on the internet (monster, hot jobs, etc). My daughter has been out and filled out applications at 4 places so far, and Joe, I have lost track of all of his......the long story short today is April 14th and NONE of us is employed yet. Our hotel room is paid for for a few more days then we have the whole no roof over our head problem again. Gee thats a familiar place too.

I struggle each day with a few thoughts. I wonder if I should continue to press my fight about the injustice done to my family. Should I contact a reporter, should I follow up with the Congressmen and women, should I contact the governor's office. I have even thought of going back to school to be a paralegal and going to work in a family law office. These are all things I think about. Because even with all my anger and frustration over MY situation, I know there is a bigger picture out there and that is that this should not happen to ANYONE and something has to be done. There has to be a way!!!

Jury finds man not guilty of sex abuse

2009-04-14T15:26:00.000-04:00

By JOSHUA WOLFSON
Star-Tribune staff writer
Thursday, March 19, 2009 2:06 AM MDT

A Natrona County man emotionally hugged his wife and his attorney after a jury Wednesday found him not guilty of sexually abusing a teenage girl.The verdict followed a three-day trial in Natrona County District Court that stemmed from allegations Joseph Mangano abused the girl last summer. Mangano's attorney, Rob Oldham, maintained the allegations were baseless and suggested the girl may have made them for ulterior reasons."False accusations do happen, ladies and gentlemen," Oldham told jurors during his closing statement earlier in the day. Jurors deliberated for less than two hours before returning not guilty verdicts to one count of third-degree sexual abuse and two counts of indecent liberties with a minor. Mangano showed little emotion as a court clerk announced the jury's decision. But after Judge Thomas Sullins thanked the panel, Mangano hugged his attorney and his family. Oldham declined comment afterward other than to thank jurors for their service.

During closing statements, he and Assistant District Attorney Michael Schafer offered jurors very different interpretations of the evidence in the case. Schafer alleged the girl, who testified during the trial, twice suffered abuse at Mangano's hands last July. The prosecutor rejected defense suggestions the girl had made up the abuse, arguing she couldn't have testified in such detail if she was fabricating the allegations."[She] stood her ground," Schafer said. "She knew what he did was wrong."Oldham contended investigators overlooked evidence in the case after deciding the girl's statements were true. The allegations, he added, blind-sided his client."So easy to accuse, so hard to defend," he said in court.

Reach crime reporter Joshua Wolfson at (307) 266-0582 or at josh.wolfson@trib.com. Read his blog at www.trib.com/blog.

The Criminal Case Verdict is IN!!!!

2009-03-23T22:27:00.000-04:00

I am baaaack

Just kidding. Sorry I haven’t been around for a while but the criminal trial against my fiance’ was last week (started on my birthday) but I now have some news.
As I mentioned, the criminal trial against my fiancé began last Monday the 16th. So in preparation naturally we have been running around like crazy people meeting with the public defender and such.
The Prosecution went first of course, my youngest daughter (now 17 ½) was first to testify. Since they sequestered the witnesses, I was not able to be in the courtroom either (the prosecution made sure they subpoenaed me to make sure) anyway, during my daughter's roughly almost 4 hours of testifying, she never once could look at my fiancé in the eye (much less in his direction), she was not able to keep her story straight between what she said to the prosecution, what she said in her videotaped statement and what she said under cross to the defense. (Just to recap quickly, she accused my fiancé of sucking her breast and fingering her and giving her a “massage”). Well the massage was never mentioned in her videotaped statement, she never mentioned it to the “family she told” that started this whole mess, the “massage” just appeared in the sheriff’s investigative report.
It came out in court that this same investigator, secretly audiotaped my fiancé, in our home at the time, without my fiance’s permission, without being arrested or charged (at that moment). He and the DFS investigator also removed clothing from the home without a search warrant. In addition, since my daughter was in a sense claiming sexual assault, no DNA tests were ever run or attempted to be run. The investigators never bothered to talk to anyone (friends or family) to get a background on my daughter. The Sheriff’s investigator and the DFS investigator were seen 2 days in a row talking outside of the courtroom and overheard discussing the case and their testimony (again witnesses were supposed to be sequestered and not discussing the case). The Sheriff’s investigator claimed that even though he was recording he still took “meticulous” notes. And yet he claims the reason that no DNA was ever tested was because my daughter claims to have taken a shower earlier in the day (which it was already proven she hadn’t, she had on the same clothes when the investigators showed up as when the supposed “incident” occurred 12 hours earlier). But again, no mention anywhere of her having made the claim of taking a shower, not in his report, not in her videotaped statement, no where, just all of a sudden on the stand during the trial.
It also came out during the trial that the family my daughter told this story to that started this whole thing, the mother, she flat out said that she was pissed that because when she told me the story that I seemed unfazed and was furious that I did not call my daughter in front of her so she could “hear” how the situation was handled. She also said in court that she had no reason to jump to the conclusion that she did, as she did not know me or my fiancé “personally”. Backing up a moment, it came out in court that my daughter did not even give details to these people (the family), all she told them (supposedly) was that my fiance’ “messed” with her. WHAT THE HELL???!!!?!?!?!
I won’t get sidetracked, the list of people the prosecution called were, my youngest daughter (of course), her male friend that she told, his mother, the sheriff’s investigator and the dfs investigator, 5 people (if I have remembered everyone). The defense…..2 people. Me and my oldest daughter (she is 19 ½).
When I was questioned by the prosecution, let’s see, I was called a monster, that I “dumped my daughter off” here in Wyoming with my fiance’, accused of lieing to the investigator, accused of covering our tracks. I spent roughly 1-1 ½ hours on the stand. My oldest daughter, wasn’t even on the stand 30 minutes. She pointblank told the court that she thinks of my fiancé (and introduces him) as her father. She actually did much better than I did on the stand. She held her attitude and temper (I was getting to the point where I was right on the verge…lol…I did correct the prosector a couple of times….lol) anyway.
The trial began Monday, closing arguments were Wednesday, it went to the jury at 4pm and at 5:30, they came back with a verdict. There were 3 counts and my fiancé was facing 45 years total. The verdict…….NOT GUILTY ALL 3 COUNTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now while this is awesome news (specially since 12 people see it the way we do, it means we aren’t crazy afterall…lol) the ridiculous part is that, I don’t get my daughter back. Because the charges were “substantiated” in the civil/juvenile case, I don’t get my daughter back. I also don’t get an “oops, our bad”. I get nothing (you know what I mean).
I am still supposed to go for a psych eval, go to parenting classes, anger management classes, etc and yet I WAS NEVER CHARGED OR INVESTIGATED!!!!! Whatever, while the war may not be over, we have definitely won a HUGE battle within it.
I have not seen/spoken to my youngest daughter since November (5 months) and I seem to be the only one who has a problem with this. The only thing that has kept me from going completely insane is the therapist I have been seeing. Now granted, she was brought to my by the “machine”, however through here actions (not just her words) she has proven to be a big help and has distinguished herself apart from them. She was formerly a CPS caseworker (she is a LCSW not a psychiatrist) and has ADMITTED to seeing some false accusation cases. I am still a little guarded with her as we have only seen each other about 8 or 10 times, but so far, I can not complain about her.
As for the public defender that handled my fiance’s case, I never thought I would say this about a government employee but HE DID AN AMAZING JOB!!!! We disagreed on the approach (he wanted to be more laid back and not do a battle of the experts kindof thing and name call and all that and we wanted a more attack stance with showing how DFS does this for the money and ripping families apart and all, that the foster parents were tampering with the witness by buying her a car, etc). I am so glad he went the route that he did. I was very nervous at first because there were people on the jury that new my daughter’s foster parents (oh yeah, one of which is a sheriff in this county), one went to school with the sheriffs investigator, that kind of stuff. If you are ever in trouble here in Capser, Wy, I highly recommend Rob Oldham!!!! (Let's hope you never need him!) But I can’t believe it only took them an hour and a half to see that this whole thing was a crock!!!!! I cannot thank those of you that flooded me with all of your information, your experiences, your words of wisdom, your strength and for you just plain being here.
I really need to thank the figtcps website. I think you they are invaluable to the communities of every state. I hope they continue their wonderful work. I truly hope that through them, change and reform of this runaway, slanderous, kidnapping, child collecting, federal money making machine can come. God Bless you all!!! For those still in this fight, my prayers are with you each and every day!!!!

Soooo Much To Do

2009-02-04T21:09:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't been here in abit. Alot has gone on. Well first of all the disposition hearing was interesting to say the least. My daughter showed up supposedly to make a statement (which she never ended up doing). She looked aweful. I had actually seen her the previous weekend at a store here in town. She has lost weight, she didn't have any to lose in the first place, she is very skinny and now even moreso. Her eyes had dark circles under them and were sunken in. She looked the same way at the courthouse.
My CAA (court appointed attorney) actually half way sounded like she might at least be pretending to act like an attorney. She made a couple of good points. She didn't get any of the things I had asked for or any answers to any of the questions I had but eehh what do you expect on a county dime.
After a bunch of ramblings by the ADA and others it was decided that my visits are still suspended and that of course I still need the psych eval. There was some banter back and forth about some counselor that isn't on DFS's list but that if the Judge would order it, I could see her. In the back of my mind I thought - this outta be rich. The amount of money the taxpayers are footing for this BS case is amazing. Lets take a look at the players. You have the Judge, the ADA, a DFS caseworker, the GAL, the foster parents and now a therapist. Not to mention the money being shelled out for doctors, dentists and alike.
Well after a couple of emails back and forth between the GAL and DFS the info for the therapist counselor whatever was given to me. I made the appointment and went. Admittedly I am not happy about having to do it, however, I decided to give her the same chance I gave everyone else. Everyone else's chance just didn't last long because they are so ignorant and rude and condesending.
Well I have to say I was a little bit suprised. Our first visit lasted almost 2 hours. She acknowledged the fact we were not brought together voluntarily so that in and of itself puts a strain on our professional relationship. She told me exactly what to expect from her role in as far as what information she is willing to share with anyone else and always has a release of info form for me to sign with exaclty what she will be releasing. Admittedly I thought that was kinda kewl. Individal releases for each session, not a blanket release.
Now we have only had 2 visits so it is still a little soon to tell. So far though she has treated me with respect (something the others could learn how to do). Not sure if she is pretending but at least seems to understand where I am coming from in the aspects of all of my unanswered questions and the "logical" way of looking at this whole crock of crap. She is understanding of the fact that she has to "earn" my trust especially because of the way I have been treated by the system and the people in it.
I was very shocked when straight out of the gate our 2nd visit she wanted to discuss visitation with my daughter. Of course I was open but told her to be prepared for a fight cuz no one else was going to like the idea. So we will see what happens from that email....lol. At this point I continue to have an open mind about her. I am not quite ready to throw her in with the lot of the others. I am not saying she couldn't at some point end up there but for now, one visit at a time.
As for this entire process, it is simply mindblowing. I still have sooooo many unanswered questions. I mean lets look at the logic for a moment. If someone is accusing someone else of "violating" their privates (whether with objects or personal body parts) wouldn't it stand to reason a physical exam should be done or a rape kit? I mean am I outta my mind? Why in the hell would you wait 4 days to do something like that?? Little things like that are what drive me crazy and no one can answer.
When I ask logical questions like this not only can I not get answers but all anyone can spout is that I am not getting my daughter back unless I get rid of my fiance. WTF?!? You want me to treat him as guilty like you are WITH NO PROOF!!! I have repeated shouted to all of them, if you think I am soooo wrong then bring me something. Proove me wrong. Here is a shock, no one has brought forth anything. I still keep coming back to the fact that it has got to be unconstitutional to find someone guilty (in the juvenile/civil case) based on a videotaped statement of "yep, he did it". No other evidence, no ability to cross examine the witness (she didn't even have to show up), nothing. Am I again, the only person who sees a problem with this picture? WTF is going on?? What happend to the LAW? What happend to investigating?
Maybe it's just me. Maybe I am expecting too much. Oh and let's not forget the icing on the cake. I am not allowed to discuss the case at all with my daughter but get this someone (cuz no one has owned up to it) told my daughter that I don't believe her. Where the hell does someone get off doing that?!?! Unlesssssss, your setting the stage, planting a seed for the child to turn their back on a parent. The failure to investigate hasn't been enough. The Judge allowed a case to proceed with no evidence and the proceeded to find him guilty with no evidence. Then we have suspended visits as a tool. Let's cause more separation between mother and child. Now I don't know about you but I don't see any conspiracy here at all...do you???
I will keep you posted :)

So Many Emotions, So Much Research - February and March Timeline

2009-01-24T15:39:00.000-05:00

Since this whole nightmare began, I think I have run the full scale of every emotion possible. The shock that my daughter would say such horrible things, just because she was pissed and didn’t want to move here. The emptiness I felt once the reality of her being gone from our home. The anger I felt at the system and people within it for not doing their jobs, for treating me as guilty when I haven’t done anything. I mean I am not being charged or investigated. The frustration from beating my head against a stone wall because no one will listen to me. The depression over not having thousands of dollars to be able to hire a decent attorney to fight this. The rage when I think about, why should I have to hire an expensive attorney when I didn’t do anything wrong and everything they (DFS, GAL, etc) have or have failed to do is wrong. The anxiety over knowing there is a ton of information out there and just not being able to put my hands on it fast enough or get help finding that key piece of info. You name it, I have felt it or am still feeling it.

Once again, I have a court hearing tomorrow. It is supposed to be a disposition hearing or as my court appointed slacker calls it a “status conference”. I am so not looking forward to this. The slacker has already refused to do what I informed her I expected in her “work for me” letter. However, she was kind enough yesterday to send me a reminder email about the hearing tomorrow and tell me not to speak to the court unless spoken to…lol.

I get into more trouble for my temper because I refuse to just lay down over this. I know what they have done is wrong and dammit I want the world to know it. I also know what they haven’t done is wrong (failed to investigate, failed to speak to other family members, etc.) and dammit I want the world to know it. This is my child, this is my family, how can anyone just simply lay down and not fight?? Everything I have ever done for my girls has been with them in mind first. Every job, every move, every school, everything. My girls were and are my world. To have strangers come in and tell me they know my daughter better than I do is absurd. To not even consider alternate explanations is mind boggling to me. I mean I thought that was what investigating was. Examining alternative theories for how a crime happens or supposedly happens. Then there is that, the whole innocent until proven guilty thing. I don’t know who came up with that first, but the freakin system around here didn’t get that memo.

As a parent, how can anyone not fight for their child? I mean that is our most basic job description. We fight for and protect those who are unable to do so for themselves. Our babies. We are the ones that are supposed to make sure they are clothed, sheltered, fed and spoiled rotten if we are lucky….lol. Not some crappy government official (and I use THAT term loosely). Not some money hungry kid collecting foster family. Us. The moms and the dads that brought these wonderful beings into this world and into our lives. I don’t know about anyone else but my world totally revolved around my girls. They were literally the air I breathed.

Well, I will write again after the hearing tomorrow (provided I haven’t been thrown in jail for contempt of court) that is if I can keep my mouth shut long enough to get through the hearing. Let’s hope and pray that for once, SOMETHING goes my way.

MORE TIMELINE :)

2/3/09 Tuesday 4:15p
Lydia appointment with Jean

2/10/09 Tuesday 1:00p
Lydia appointment with Jean

2/17/09 Tuesday 1:00p
Lydia appointment with Jean

2/19/09 Thursday
11:59a Lydia, received call from Jessica @ CWCC, psych eval scheduled
for 3/23/09 @ 10a
1:00p Lydia appointment with Jean

3/2/09 Monday 3:15p
Lydia appointment with Jean

3/10/09 Tuesday 4:00p
Lydia appointment with Jean

3/11/09 Wednesday
Lydia, received in mail my copy of formal notice from Kristi DePoorter that allegations of abuse were substantiated against Joe.

Lydia, received in mail letter from Cynthia Loomis in response to e-mail I sent her, Enzi & Barrasso, that she has forwarded my email/letter to Governor Freidenthal.

3/12/09 Thursday 4:00p
Lydia appointment with Jean

3/16/09 Monday (My 40th birthday)
9:00a Joe’s criminal trial begins.
Jury Seated.
Opening Arguments.
Brittney Testifies.

3/17/09 Tuesday 9:00a
Joe’s criminal trial continues.
Brittney finishes testifying.
Brooks Testifies.
Pam Testifies.
Officer Steinburg Testifies.

3/18/09 Wednesday 9:00a
Joe’s criminal trial continues.
Audio recording Officer Steinburg illegally taped at trailer is played for court.
Officer Steinburg finishes testifying.
Lydia testifies.
Brianna testifies.
Case to jury @ 4p
Jury returns Not Guilty verdict on all 3 counts @ 5:30p

3/24/09 Tuesday
Lydia appointment with Jean

3/31/09 Tuesday 4:00p
Lydia appointment with Jean

More Taxpayer Money for A Useless County Employee - November through January Timeline

2009-01-15T23:21:00.000-05:00

Well, I had another meeting today with my long awaited for court appointed attorney. I was ready. Had my ducks in a row as it were. Documents, notes, etc in hand. I even found a wonderful example of a "make your court appointed attorney work for YOU" letter on an awesome website I found called www.fightcps.com. The information and resources this website has are amazing, but anyway. I typed up my letter of what I wanted and expected from this "county paid" attorney.
Believe it or not I was flat out told "I will not do any of the things you are asking for." "Fighting DFS is pointless." So I asked "so you want me to just roll over and play dead?!" She actually had the nerve to respond "It is my expereince (17 years), if you follow the case plan, you will get your daughter back." I askedagain, just to be clear "so in 17 years you have never had a case where the parents jumped through all the hoops and didn't get their children back?" She responded "never".
I had to point out that in all of the research I have been doing lately, that is certainly NOT the norm. I mean, I have read the horror stories of where parents jump through all the hoops and never get their kids back. Then there is the whole I AM NOT BEING CHARGED WITH ANYTHING OR EVEN BEING INVESTIGATED thing.
I mean am I the only person in this dang county that thinks that it a major problem????
I am obviously the only person who thinks convicting someone on "because I say so" is wrong. They have proven that here. I still can't get over that. But that particular part isn't my fight - would almost be easier if it was. I personally AM NOT BEING CHARGED OR INVESTIGATED!
So I am sitting back, waiting for our next hearing, a "disposition" hearing which according to this brilliant attorney I have now is "just a status conference really". What a crock - this woman still doesn't get it - I am not stupid. I may not be THE most intelligent person out there, but I am fairly smart. Smart enough to know when wrong is wrong and dammit this whole thing is just WRONG!!!!
Admittedly when I first began going through this I thought to mysself, surely none of this can be right. They can't do this. Then I started researching. Then I started emailing and begging for help. Then I started discovering all these groups (like www.passagegroups.us and www.fightcps.com), newpaper articles about the horror stories, the parents rights groups like the National Parents Rights Association - and I discovered - oh my god - I am NOT alone - and oh my god - they (DFS/CPS) makes a habit out of this sort of thing.
Somehow, someway, I have to find a way to get the word out about this place. One thing I have discovered in all of my research so far, is that ironically, there is not a whole lot of information about Wyoming as far as statistics go. Admittedly, I am not done looking yet either.
I would love to find a way to find all the DFS cases my so called attorney has worked over the last 17 years to see if what she is saying is true (that children are always returned to the parents IF they complete the case plan). Call me cynical but my gut tells me - she is full of it!!!
I will keep you posted :)

ONCE AGAIN SORRY FOR JUMPING AROUND - BUT THIS TIMELINE WAS ADDED LATER and still getting used to this "blogging" thing :)

11/3/08 Monday 4:13p
Lydia called Deanna to advise of new work schedule.

11/4/08 Tuesday 7:57p
Lydia received call from Deanna that visits will be on Tuesday & Thursday 6:30-7:30p

11/6/08 Thursday 4:57p
Lydia called Deanna to cancel visit due to work.

11/10/08 Monday 1:55p
Lydia received call from Tere, instead of visit tomorrow, would I like to go to Brittney’s swim awards @ 6:00p. I agreed.

11/11/08 Tuesday 3:21p
Brittney’s Facebook status still shows her in relationship.

11/11/08 Tuesday 6:00p
Brittney’s swim awards @ Natrona County High School. Didn’t go well. She said hello & goodbye. Other than that, like I wasn’t even there.

11/13/08 Thursday 2:58p
Lydia left message for Deanna to confirm visit tonight.

11/13/08 Thursday 5:06p
Lydia left message #2 for Deanna to confirm visit tonight.

11/13/08 Thursday
Lydia sent 2nd emails to 3 Wyoming senators asking for help in case.

11/18/08 Tuesday
4:15p Lydia left message for Deanna to confirm visit tonight.
5:14p Lydia received call from Deanna that per GAL there will be no visit & if any questions to call the GAL.

11/18/08 Tuesday
5:30p Lydia called GAL office & they gave home number. Left message on home voice mail.
7:57p Lydia as of this time numerous calls to home & office numbers as well as left 2 messages with no call back.

11/19/08 Wednesday
8:10a Lydia attempted 2 more calls to GAL home, no message. Left message on voice mail at GAL office. Also attempted call to Tere, no message left.
10:00a Child Support Enforcement meeting scheduled.
Lydia had to cancel due to on new job for only 2 days.
10:50a No answer at GAL office
10:51a Unable to leave message for Tere @ DFS mailbox full
10:59a Receptionist @ DFS tried 2 supervisors & got voice mail
11:02a Tere finally reached, GAL was to file motion but doesn’t know why
11:24a Left message @ GAL office
1:22p Call to Tere, voice mail full unable to leave message
1:24p GAL office, she is not in.
2:30p GAL office, she is not in.
2:31p DA’s office, Kevin not in
2:32p Tere, motion is to suspend visits until MDT classes completed.
3:47p Tere called back to confirm motion is to suspend visits. I questioned and complained why I am being punished for what I didn’t know. She wants me in her office on Friday @ 4:15 for her “help”.

11/19/08 Wednesday 4:20p
Lydia, meeting with Tere & her Supervisor Carol. Tere spent most time hammering on the issue of Lydia not leaving Joe. Lydia spent most time complaining that I had never been through this before, why am I being punished when I didn’t know I was supposed to have to take care of calling these people. You have controlled everything else, I just assumed you would be having people contact me. Tere gave me the name of CWCC & the doctor to call there to set it up. She will get me a list for the parenting classes and anger management classes.

11/23/08 Sunday
Lydia sent emails to NPRA, Rutherford, Family Defense Center, Pacific Justice, and Gloria Allred asking for help with my case.

11/24/08 Monday 11:27a
Lydia left message for Tere requesting copy of letter from Dr. Naginey (Brittney’s counselor) because it was not included in motion filed by GAL & to call back to confirm she received message.

11:01a Lydia left message on voice mail for Dr. Mike Bjornson @ CWCC to schedule psych eval.

11/24/08 Monday 12:35p
Lydia received call from Tere to confirm message & will get copy of Dr. Naginey letter

11/24/08 Monday
Lydia received email back from Karen Wagner (NPRA) to contact Dr. Monty Weinstein for help.

11/24/08 Monday
Lydia received email back from Kevin @ Pacific Justice. Can’t help because case not of religious nature. Suggested legal aid.

11/24/08 Monday 7:37p
Lydia still have not received call from GAL as to why visit canceled on 11/18.

11/24/08 Monday
Lydia received copy of motion filed by GAL to suspend visitation

11/25/08 Tuesday
11:11a Lydia left message #2 on voice mail for Dr. Mike Bjornson @ CWCC to schedule psych eval.
3:11p Lydia received message from Dr. Bjornson asking for DFS caseworker name.
4:02p Lydia left message on voice mail to Dr. Bjornson with Tere name and phone number and to schedule eval on 12/16 if possible.

12/1/08 Monday
9:19a Lydia called Peter Lomtevas’ office to confirm he received my emails.
11:11a Lydia LMVM for Dr. Bjornson to follow up if received a message/reached Tere Gabel to set up appt on 12/16/08.
8:08p Lydia received call from Peter Lomtevas to discuss issues of case, the timeline and his role/fees.

12/2/08 Tuesday
11:14a Lydia, LMVM for Tere Gabel that I still have not received the copy of the letter from Dr. Naginey that was filed with the motion on 11/24/08 by Mary Ann the GAL and that Dr. Bjornson is trying to contact her to schedule psych eval and for her to call me back to confirm she has received my message and status of these items.
7:44p Brittney’s myspace status “wants to see her boyfriend” found out on facebook that boyfriend=Adam and facebook shows “in a relationship”

12/8/08 Monday 11:02a
Lydia LMVM for Peter Lomtevas

12/10/08 Wednesday 11:34a
Lydia received telephone call from Shawn Evans of PASSAGE, Inc.

12/15/08 Monday
4:42p Lydia, received phone call from Peter Lomtevas. Discussed case in length and detail as to how for me to write up motions, what to say and to motion for a court appointed attorney.
8:00p Lydia, typed up 3 motions for the court:
1) Opposition Motion
2) Motion for continuance
3) Motion for Contempt on Visitation
(I will post these as soon as I look back though them and see if I need to edit out anything)

12/16/08 Tuesday 9:30a
1) OPPOSITION TO MOTION TO SUSPEND VISITATION/
OPPOSITION TO MOTION TO ORDER PARENT TO COMPLY WITH CASE PLAN
2) MOTION FOR CONTINUANCE FOR MOTHER TO OBTAIN LEGAL REPRESENTATION
3) MOTION FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT FOR VIOLATION OF VISITATION ORDER
all filed by Lydia with the court.

12/16/08 Tuesday 10:00a
Hearing on Motion filed by GAL to suspend visitation.
Judge orders: visits suspended, psychological eval, GAL to get Lydia copy of Dr. Naginey letter, Lydia given court appointed attorney.

12/25/08 Thursday
Britt is pulled over by police in a traffic stop (her foster parents have purchased her a car (that's not witness tampering!!!) it is snowing, she barely has her license and she is pulled over for "playing with a camera phone" WTF????? Additionally, she posts this information on BOTH facebook and myspace (again, remember this, it will be important later)

12/29/08 Monday 11:36a
Lydia lmvm of Tere Gabel re: not yet received copy of Dr Naginey letter and still awaiting psych eval appointment.

12/31/08 Wednesday 4:15p
Lydia met with court appointed attorney (Wendy O.) to discuss case. Appears to be on case begrudgingly, opening statement: “what exactly is it you want me to do?” “My best advice is to just do as they ask, it isn’t worth it to fight the system” and “In my 17 years of doing this I have never had a case where the parents didn’t get the child back after jumping thru all the hoops”

1/9/09 Friday
9:50a Lydia spoke to Rob re: Brianna & Steinburg
9:55a Lydia spoke to Wendy re: her meeting with GAL & accusation that I am still not following case plan. Advised Wendy of dates of contact & with whom in order to attempt to follow case plan. Her advice – for me to call yet again.
9:57a Lydia spoke to Tere G re: still no copy of Dr. Naginey letter, still waiting on list for anger mgmt classes she stated she would get to me back on 11/21/08, and still awaiting appt for psych eval – advised “get the lead out – I’m tired of being punished because you don’t do your job”. Tere claimed there had been fire at the office last week and she still needs a court order. (gee I wonder why I was ordered to take anger management classes...lol)
4:00p Joe, emergency continuance granted (just barely) because Army will not acknowledge (ok they acknowledged it enough to say that since she was in a training environment they couldn't let her go) the Subpeona to Brianna.

1/12/09 Monday 3:50p
Lydia, received call from Wendy to reschedule our Friday appointment to Thursday @ 4:15p

1/15/09 Thursday 4:15p
Lydia, meeting with Wendy Owens

1/18/09 Sunday
Brittney’s facebook/myspace status updated to reflect she has been grounded.

1/23/09 Friday
Disposition hearing
Judge Skavdahl orders:
1) Visitation remains suspended
2) GAL recommends Jean M. (LCSW) to be my therapist & suggests condensing my therapy, anger mgmt, parenting, psych eval, and even dual counsel with Britt if she is able to do all.
3) Brittney was there and due to speak to say she didn’t want visits but Judge didn’t have her speak, because "nothing good will come of it".

1/30/09 Friday 4:15p
Lydia appointment with Jean M.

So much for being taken seriously - September & October Timeline

2009-01-05T21:23:00.000-05:00

Well, our hearing on the 16th went good and bad. After flooding the court with 3 motions I wrote myself...lol. Nothing really got accomplished other than me pissing off the judge.

One motion was specific and directly asked the court to appoint an attorney for me. Now mind you, I have verbally asked on numerous other occassions only to be turned down since "I wasn't being charged with anything". The other 2 motions were mostly just kinda filler...lol

Well, I got my court appointed attorney. Nice to see the judge took me so seriously. I took one look at this so called attorney and figure she must have skimmed through the bar exam on the VERY LAST wrung. She walks out to meet me, her waist length sweater "caught" up under her bra so that half of her stomach was showing. THAT was my first clue. My second, her attitude towards me. "Well what exactly is it you want me to do?!" How about your freaking job. PROTECT ME DAMMIT!!!!!!!

Of course I didn't say that but boy did I want to. It seems as tho, by my best guess, she was appointed to appease me. SO far I am NOT appeased.

I have not seen or spoken to my daughter in over a month. I have not received a copy of a letter from my daughters therapist (and I use THAT term very loosely) that the judge ordered to be given to me. I have not received notice on when our next hearing is in response to my motions. So I guess I will do as I always do......sit back, hurry up, and wait.

I will keep you posted on the next series of jokes as they occur.

ONCE AGAIN SORRY FOR JUMPING AROUND - BUT THIS TIMELINE WAS ADDED LATER and still getting used to this "blogging" thing and how it works :)

9/1/08 Monday 2:43p
Received text message from Brittney re: getting 1st place in swim meet.

9/1/08 Monday 5:12p
Brittney texts Lydia asking for ringtone for her phone (this is the phone that Joe is supposed to still be paying for and was ORDERED by Judge back in August to keep on so as to not "retaliate" against her).

9/3/08 Wednesday
Joe & Brittney’s cell phones are turned off by verizon for non payment (because Joe is in Jail).

9/4/08 Thursday
Lydia asks Tere (Dept of Family Services caseworker) for visits to be @ DFS due to foster home visits too chaotic. Also advised had not seen Brittney in a week.

9/8/08 Monday 4:00p
Lydia lmvm for Tere to follow up on request for visit.

9/10/08 Wednesday 11:15a
Lydia sent Brittney a message on Facebook.

9/10/08 Wednesday 4:50p
Lydia lmvm for Tere to follow up on request for visit.

9/11/08 Thursday 11:37a
Lydia lmvm for Jeri (Tere's supervisor @ DFS) re: no follow up from Tere & Lydia not getting visits (remember, Judge ordered me to have 3 visits per week).

9/11/08 Thursday 3:30p
Lydia lmvm for Jeri (Tere's supervisor @ DFS) re: no follow up from Tere & Lydia not getting visits.
After message receptionist transferred Lydia to Carol (Next up supervisor from Jeri)

9/12/08 Friday 4:38p
Lydia received call from Deanna PAC (Self Help Center contracted by DFS for visitations). Tere failed to forward copy of my work schedule to PAC.

9/12/08 Friday 7:30p
Lydia received call from Deanna, visit with Brittney cancelled due to she is out of town for a swim meet.

9/13/08 Saturday 4:31p
Lydia received message from Brittney via Facebook that she has a new cell phone number.

9/13/08 Saturday 8:10p
Lydia responds to Brittney’s Facebook message.

9/14/08 Sunday 7:11p
Lydia received message from Brittney via Facebook.

9/14/08 Sunday 9:58p
Lydia responds to Brittney’s Facebook message.

9/15/08 Monday
Joe released from Jail on $10,000 cash bond. Lydia received cashiers check made out to the jail from Joe’s father. Due to processes, jail says Lydia posted the bond (again this will be important later).

9/17/08 Wednesday 10:26a
Lydia received call from Deanna re: visits with Brittney on Thursday & Sunday. Advised I would be unable to make due to work schedule. Advised I was off on Friday & Saturday & that some days Brittney doesn’t have to be to school until 11:00a try to schedule a visit during that time as well.

9/19/08 Friday 1:00p
Lydia & Joe meet with Father August of St. Patricks Church for counseling/guidance.

9/21/08 Sunday 1:30p
Brittney’s Facebook status reads: “Officially missing Mandarin High”

9/21/08 Sunday 4:15p
Lydia received call from Deanna re: visit. Deanna thought I was to be there @ 3:00p. Lydia thought she was to call back to confirm.

9/22/08 Monday 3:20p
Lydia receives text message from Brianna stating a voice mail was left on her phone for Lydia to call DA’s office re: hearing.

9/22/08 Monday 3:25p
Lydia calls Bernie re: call from DA’s office. Per Bernie, my choice if I want to talk to them but I don’t have to. Lydia did not return call to DA.

9/23/08 Tuesday5:41p
Lydia received message from Deanna re: visit with Brittney on Wednesday @ 7:00p and Thursday @ 7:15p

9/23/08 Tuesday 6:15p
Lydia attempted to call Deanna re: visits. Could not leave message voice mail was full so paged.

9/23/08 Tuesday 6:45p
Lydia attempted to call Deanna re: visits. Could not leave message voice mail was full so paged.

9/24/08 Wednesday 9:30a
Lydia finally reached Deanna confirmed Wednesday visit advised must change Thursday visit due to work schedule. She will find out & call back.

9/24/08 Wednesday 7:00p
Been 1 month since Lydia has seen Brittney. Brittney arrived @ visit with 7 stitches in her forehead. Claims she hit head on chair in her room. Lydia took picture of injury. Left copy of work schedule through 10/10/08.

9/25/08 Thursday 9:00a
Joe meets with Rob & Bernie (court appointed attorney & his investigator).

9/25/08 Thursday 249p
Sandy from Lifenet calls Lydia re:MDT Meeting re: Brittney on 10/14. This date may change due to Helen & Kevin possibly being out of town (the people who are receiving federal money to care for MY child are going to leave her with a stranger?!?!).

9/25/08 Thursday 4:40p
Lydia lmvm for Paul (regional supervisor for DFS) re: concern for Brittney & her injury.

9/28/08 Sunday 5:03p
Brittney’s Facebook lists her as “in a relationship”

9/29/08 Monday 1:21p
Lydia sends Brittney a message via Facebook asking who she is dating and information re: her senior pictures.

9/29/08 Monday
Kevin Taheri amends petition and caption

9/30/08 Tuesday 9:00a
Adjudication hearing before Judge Skavdahl.
Joe is found guilty of all charges.
DA presents no evidence other than Brittney’s video taped statement (she didn't even have to testify nor was Joe allowed his Constitutional right to "face his accuser").
Joe does not have an attorney present (his court appointed is only for the criminal not the juvenille). Joe does not give up his right to an attorney, did apply for a court appointed attorney while in jail, but never heard back. (Also at this point, the Asst DA Kevin T and the GAL Mary Anne were kind enough to begin offering free advice to Joe (hello can you say acting in dual roles, conflict of interest and what about some semblance of lawyers ethics????) Judge allowed case to proceed AND finds the "allegations of abuse to be substantiated (he found Joe guilty). This is also when we find out (even though we had been asking for it the whole time) that even though Britt was accusing Joe of digital penetration, NO physical exam was done on Britt for 4 days and NO dna test was EVER done. Naturally there was NO physical evidence that Joe did anything to her (mainly because he didn't but still, they couldn't comeup with anything either that "placed" him there.
Lydia raises concerns for Brittney’s safety (due to the stitches) as well as not having the court ordered visits 3 times per week. Judge reiterated 3 visit order and stated accidents happen, she is fine where she is.

10/2/08 Thursday 6:00p
Lydia received call from Deanna re: visit in 1 hour. Advised could not that it was 1 hour notice. Reminded of schedule copy left with her & advised next days off were Tuesday & Friday. She will call back.

10/6/08 Monday 8:03p
Lydia received call from Deana re: visit Tuesday.

10/6/08 Monday 10:06p
Lydia lmvm to confirm visit on Tuesday with Brittney

10/7/08 Tuesday 11:33a
Lydia received call from Deanna re:7:00p visit tonight, 9:00a and 7:00p visits next Tuesday. Will need to confirm 9:00a visit with Tere who is coordinating.

10/7/08 Tuesday 11:40a
Lydia attempted call to Judge Skavdahl’s office to discuss visit issues. Was told have to go through GAL (Mary Ann) or DFS (Tere).

10/7/08 Tuesday 11:42a
Lydia attempted 3rd call to GAL, voice mail was full could not leave message.

10/7/08 Tuesday 2:53p
Lydia attempted 4th call to GAL, voice mail was full could not leave message.

10/7/08 Tuesday 7:00p
Lydia & Brittney visit. Starts out well then ¾ way through went downhill. Need to have Deanna’s notes checked from last visit. Brittney lied. Last visit said trip to movies was in a group. This visit states was just her and new boyfriend but once again, I am in the wrong and have no right to be concerned.

10/8/08 Wednesday 4:17p
Lydia received message from Tere re: visit tomorrow @10:00a

10/8/08 Wednesday 5:09p
Lydia left message on Tere’s voice mail that won’t be able to make 10:00a visit due to work schedule 6a-2p. Lydia also sent Brittney text message to advise since notice was last minute.

10/14/08 Tuesday 7:00p
Lydia visit with Brittney

10/15/08 Wednesday 2:47p
Lydia received call from Tere re: 9:00a visit on Tuesday 10/21/08 confirmed.

10/17/08 Friday 11:00a
MDT (multi-discipline team) meeting.
Lydia refuses to cut ties with Joe. No agency accepts responsibility for not getting 3 visits per week. Lydia is ordered to have psychological eval as well as anger management and parenting classes. Brittney will remain in foster care. Britt is doing remarkably well, she is doing good in school and excelling in swimming. (DUH!!! Her grades haven't changed, her sports haven't changed, she has a boyfriend and a job....how is it she is traumatized again??????)

10/21/08 Tuesday 9:00a
Lydia visit with Brittney @ DFS under Tere supervision. This visit will come back to bite me because I lost it.
Visit started out well. Brittney spoke of swim team for approx 30 min, Visit turned ugly when Brittney referred to current children in the foster home as “sisters”. Let comment go until I asked why no acknowledgement of her grandmother (Reba) – no calls, no letters, cards, emails, or texts. She asked why grandmother doesn’t come to the visits. I replied “you haven’t asked her to.” I also stated that “at least I haven’t forgotten I have a family”. Tere demanded exchange stop, I replied “I know, we don’t want her dealing with reality.” Brittney proceeded to storm out of room and cry. Tere stated she needed to get Brittney back to school which I responsed “make sure you talk to her about reality on your way”. I left.

10/21/08 Tuesday 3:30p
Lydia received call from Deanna re: visit @ 7:00p tonight.
Advised morning visit didn’t go well & since weather bad (snowing) stated would skip this visit.

10/21/08 Tuesday
Joe receives copies of papers from hearings back on 7/28 & 8/7/08.

10/28/08 Tuesday 2:42p
Lydia receives call from Deanna re: visit tonight @ 7:00p with Brittney. I cancel due to already had plans.

10/31/08 Friday
Lydia sent emails to 3 Wyoming senators asking for help in case.

The Nightmare Begins - July and August 2008 Timeline

2008-12-29T21:44:00.001-05:00

My name is Lydia. I relocated to the Casper area back in July. I am a single mother of 2 daughters. One is currently in the US Army Reserves.

The story below I wish I could say was the result of some talented soap opera writer. Unfortunately it is the current state of my affairs. Honestly, if someone came up to me with this story I would ask them if they had been drinking...lol.

I arrived in Casper on July 15, 2008 with my younges daughter as well as 2 of our pets to the residence we were to share with my fiancé of 4 years. I stayed to help set up the residence as well as spend some time with my fiancé (as he had been here since April 2008) and help my daughter adjust & get her enrolled in school.

July 18, 2008 I returned to Florida alone to retrieve the rest of our belongings as well as my mother and to finalize the rent contract on our Florida home. I arrived in Florida on Sunday July 21, 2008. On Tuesday July 22, the potential renter backed out. I was originally to leave on Wednesday July 23 to return to Casper. Wednesday July 23, I placed our Florida home on the selling market with a local realtor, thus delaying my return to Casper. On Friday July 25, 2008, I was in the process of loading my vehicle when I received a visit from the parents of a friend of my daughter's who proceed to tell me that she has accused my fiancé of touching her inappropriately. I took steps to ensure her safety until I could arrive in Casper.

Later that afternoon, I received a phone call from Inspector saying he had received a call regarding the complaint and wanted to take her to the CAPS center for further questioning. The way he explained it to me not only did I not have a choice in letting her go, but he stated that I would be able to get her back once I arrived in Casper.
I arrived back in Casper on Sunday July 27. Monday July 28 there was a “shelter” hearing. I did not get my daughter back. My daughter was placed directly into foster care on July 25, with a couple one of whom is a Natrona County Sherriff.

This couple has 6 other children/foster children (they have adopted over the years). They had another child which when they got my daughter they sent to the foster mother’s sister to be taken in/adopted. Most of their other children are special needs children (Autism, ADHD, Meningitis, etc). My daughter is not. She is just a number to them. To date, I have NOT been able to obtain any legal representation (because I am not being charged with anything). Remember that - it is key - I am NOT being charged or investigated. As a result my fiancé was arrested and I as well as my mother lost the housing we were to have (the residence was provided by my fiancés employer, when he was arrested we were literally thrown out).

I have gone long periods of time without a visit with my daughter (at one point 1 month - when I finally saw her after that 1 month - she showed up to the visit with 7 stitches in her forehead and some lame excuse about hitting her head on a chair) and when I do have them they must be supervised. The Judge has ordered 3 visits per week. To date I have yet to have those 3 visits per week and no one has been held accountable for disobeying the Judge's order.

Please do not misunderstand me; this letter is NOT about guilt or innocence. That should and will be determined by a court. This letter is about me, as a parent, NOT CHARGED with ANY crime, not only being treated as a criminal, but being alienated from my daughter. My visits are supervised, restricted, and my conversations with my daughter are not free. Don’t get me wrong I understand I am not allowed to discuss the case with her. It’s not that. My daughter is literally being alienated from me. She doesn’t even acknowledge my mother (her grandmother).

Then there is DFS. The caseworker that has been assigned to my case is a joke. IF I can get her to return a phone call it’s a miracle. More than once I have had to not only go to her supervisor, but to her supervisor’s supervisor simply to get her to return a phone call. Then there are the times when I can’t even leave her a message because her mailbox is full. This woman is treating my daughter like just another number, just like she is treated in the foster home. Whenever I point this out the DFS worker simply rolls her eyes and huffs and puffs.

And let us not forget how much trouble I get into when I write "notes" on Facebook. The notes are Facebooks version of a blog. That was actually another one of the reasons the GAL filed to suspend my visits. Now mind you, in the "note" just like here, there are no mention of any names, heck there isn't even the mention of an agency. Yet I still got my hand smacked. Which when this one is found I am sure I will get my hand smacked again. Once again, people who don't know us, me or my family, are going to make judgements about us. I have ALWAYS written. Admittedly not always in such a public forum, but I have always written. It is a release for me. I have to get my frustrations and hurt out someway. Specially since I don't have the government paying for a shrink for me to see.

If and when I am allowed to visit with her, when I ask questions about her schooling or swim team activities I am accused of putting her under stress and being demeaning to her. When I found out she had a boyfriend, a fact which her Guardian Ad Litem as well as DFS did NOT know, I was supposed to be ok with the fact she was going out alone with this boy, unsupervised in his personal vehicle. A rule which was always strictly enforced in our home.

No one within “the system” has seen the real side of my daughter simply for the fact that she does not have to live by any “rules”. She is not being put under any stress or being told no. I am the one who gets in trouble for trying to tell them about the real her and I am the one who gets into trouble whenever I try to bring up “reality” in front of her. I am repeatedly told I should be happy that I get to see her at all and I should be ok with the fact I lost my housing and have spent the last 4 months paying $1600 a month for a flea bag motel room when I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG - I AM NOT CHARGED WITH ANYTHING, I am not even being investigated!!!!!!!!

In addition, my daughter's GAL (Guardian ad Litem) has filed a motion with the court to suspend my visitation until some of the points of the Family Plan have been completed (such as a psychological profile of myself, anger management classes (because I am not supposed to be angry - I am supposed to be happy), parenting classes, etc). When I questioned why the motion to suspend my visits that is what I was told. My response was, why am I being punished and I was informed because I have failed to even begin any of those items. I said I was not aware I was supposed to be doing anything, I thought you had people you contracted with and they would be contacting ME. So now I don't even get the 1 visit per week with my daughter because of something I didn't even know.

I have contacted, over time of course, all the agencies that I have been told to contact for help (Interfaith, Casper Housing, etc.) to no avail. As for legal help, I have asked the court for a court appointed lawyer (denied because I am not being charged with anything) (which now finally after 5 months I am FINALLY getting), local area attorneys (who say they can’t help and if they are willing they want HUGE retainers up front). I have contacted the ACLU and couldn’t even get them to talk to me. Well they did talk to me long enough to say they wouldn’t handle something like that but they would look into it, they would send me a release of information form to fill out (I have never received).

I honestly feel as though my civil rights have been trampled on in this case as well as my parental rights. I don’t think what I am asking for is too much and that is to be treated with respect and acknowledgment that I AM STILL HER MOTHER. My bottom line concern is for her and in our present situation this is not being allowed to happen. All I want is to ensure she is cared for by someone who actually knows her. Not someone looking to make a buck off of her. Right now there are several monetarily interested parties involved in this mess. Getting federal monies for her to be in "protective custody" and believe me I use that term VERY loosely. DFS, the foster parents, her therapist. Surely I can not be so wrong in what I seek.

Now don't get me wrong. I have discovered over this last month, that I am not the only one this is happening to. Some how in some small way, I feel like if I am able to bring attention to this, that it will help people. While yes it will be nice to "right my wrong", but it would be even better for this to not happen to ANYONE.

So please, feel free to share your stories and comments with me. I have found a group, it's extremely small right now, but is eager to grow, of people going through things similar to my experience.

SORRY FOR THE JUMPING AROUND - BUT ADDED THE TIMELINE LATER...LOL

7/24/08 Thursday - 10:30a (approx)
Joe (my fiance) and Brittney (my youngest daughter - age 16 at this time) go to breakfast afterwhich Bitt watches Red vs. Blue on YouTube.com (this is important later on)

7/24/08 Thursday 5:11p
Brittney’s Facebook status reads “Getting used to being in the middle of nowhere.”

7/24/08 Thursday 7:52p
Brittney’s Facebook status reads “watching Red vs Blue”

7/24/08 Thursday 9:57p
Brittney’s Facebook shows that she joined a group.

7/25/08 Friday 7:01a
Brittney’s Facebook status reads “Is nervous”

7/25/08 Friday (Approx) 10:30a (fla time)
Mark & Pam come to the Florida house to tell Lydia (me - mom) that Brittney told their son (Brooks) that Joe touched Brittney inappropriately. Lydia calls Brittney, she gives no details only “he touched her inappropriately”. Lydia calls Joe and asks same question. He says the only thing he can think of is that he may have inadvertently grazed her chest when she rolled over from her stomach to her back in order to look at him when he was telling her he was leaving for work at 4:00A.M. He asked if Lydia wanted him to go stay @ hotel til she could get there. Lydia & Joe call Brittney, Joe apologizes (at my urging/insistance - and not the first time I have done this and again this will be important later) if he made her uncomfortable again offers to stay @ hotel til Lydia gets to Casper.

7/25/08 Friday (Approx) 4:00p (fla time)
Lydia receives call from Brittney to advise that Investigator Mike Steinburg and Investigator Kristi DePoorter (Natrona County Sheriff & Department of Family Services) are at the Casper residence to talk to her. Inv. Steinburg gets on the phone & says they want to take Brittney down to CAPS for questioning in re: to the abuse allegation. Inv. Steinburg states I will be able to get Brittney back once I am in town, but since Joe & I are not married & there is no other family, they want to put her into protective custody. Inv. Steinburg made it sound like I had no choice.

7/25/08 Friday 5:30p
Brittney placed into Protective Custody & placed in foster home (the child collectors)(Kevin & Helen – Kevin is a Natrona County Sheriff & Helen works at a detention facility).

7/25/08 Friday 7:30p (approx)
Investigator Mike Steinburg and Investigator Kristi DePoorter (Natrona County Sheriff & Department of Family Services) went to the Casper residence & interviewed Joe. Did not read him his rights nor did they tell him what he was accused of. (Later we find out this interview was also tape recorded without consent & without Joe’s knowledge).

7/27/08 Sunday Lydia & Reba (Lydia’s mother) arrive in Casper with the youngest dog & a guinea pig.

7/28/08 Monday 4:00p
Shelter Care Hearing before Judge SkavdahlLydia is told Brittney will remain in foster care as she is not able to provide a safe environment for Brittney (I live with Joe) nor will he allow Reba (the grandmother) to take Britt BACK to Florida. "I want the child to remain here in Casper so that I can control her." says Judge Skavdahl.

7/31/08 Thursday 1:49p
Brittney’s Facebook status reads “Happy but misses her friends”

8/2/08 Saturday
Lydia begins working @ Walmart in Casper

8/7/08 Thursday 4:00p
Shelter Care Hearing before Judge Skavdahl
Lydia is told Brittney will remain in foster care as she is not able to provide a safe environment for Brittney (I live with Joe). Once again it is asked for the grandmother to take Britt back to Florida and again it is denied. Judge does not want her leaving his jurisdiction. Case will be held over for Adjudication.
Judge orders 3 visits per week between Lydia & Brittney.
This date is Lydia & Joe’s 4 year anniversary.
Lydia finally receives copies of all papers to date (motions, complaints, predisposition reports, etc) after complaining that I was not getting copies of paperwork.
After reviewing ALL paperwork, Lydia is NOT charged with ANY crime on ANY paperwork nor is Lydia even being investigated.
Noticed in predisposition report statements of “reasonable efforts made to prevent removal of child’: provided home based services (no they didn’t), referred for counseling child, mother & family (no we weren’t), referred to benefit specialist for medical resources/Medicaid (no I wasn’t), and an MDT meeting has been held (no it hasn’t it doesn’t take place until Oct 17).

8/8/08 Friday 10:30p (approx)
Joe is arrested. He remains in jail on $10,000 cash bond for 8 weeks.

8/8/08 Friday
Order on Scheduling conference is set for Sept 30 @ 10:00a

8/11/08 Monday
Lydia is told by Joe’s employer (Mid Mountain Concrete Pumping) must move out of residence (they own) NO later than Wednesday.

8/12/08 Tuesday
Lydia is forced to take youngest dog to animal shelter.

8/13/08 Wednesday
Lydia & Reba move into First Interstate Motel. $378.00/wk
Employer keeps Joe’s truck & the oldest dog Max.

8/14/08 Thursday
Lydia leaves for Ft. Jackson, SC for Brianna (oldest daughter - 18 3/4 yrs at this time) graduation from Basic Training for US Army Reserves.

8/17/08 Sunday
Lydia returns from South Carolina to Casper.

8/19/08 Tuesday 8:00p
Visit scheduled with Brittney @ the foster parents home but she is late due to swim orientation.

8/22/08 Friday 7:00p
Visit scheduled with Brittney @ the foster parents home.

8/23/08 Saturday
Lydia rents storage unit for Joe’s truck.

8/24/08 Sunday
Lydia picked up Joe’s truck & oldest dog Max from Joe's now previous employer (they fired him the day he was arrested).

8/24/08 Sunday 7:00p
Visit scheduled with Brittney @ the foster parents home.

8/25/08 Monday 9:00a
Lydia meets with Bernie (investigator for Joe’s court appointed attorney Rob).

8/26/08 Tuesday
Lydia emailed Bernie text log from Brittney’s phone.

8/27/08 Wednesday
Lydia drops of pictures of family to Bernie.